A Texas woman did some checking into that Rick Perry shot a coyote while jogging story and came up with some interesting facts.  Like maybe, “Yeah, sure that happened.”

Wrong gun.  Wrong place.  Wrong animal.  And according to an expert, it would have to had been the shot of a lifetime.

I was skeptical of the story since he claimed it happened in February and he carried a gun because he’s scared of snakes.   First of all, snakes are sleeping in Texas in February and you couldn’t wake them up with a bullhorn and a marching band.  Second of all, any damfool knows you do not shoot snakes.  It just pisses them off.  If you don’t have a hoe and very quick reactions, you do not need to be in snake territory in cute little running shorts.

Most importantly, any man who shot a coyote would be carrying back the carcass for taxidermy and bragging rights.  Perry claims he didn’t tell anybody it for two weeks.

So Rick appears to be the first roadrunner to be outsmarted by a coyote and a Texas woman with firearm experience.

Thanks to David for the heads-up.

Rick Perry did not show up.

Gov. Rick Perry did not show up as expected Saturday at a news conference convened by his office to brief reporters on the Texas wildfires. Perry aides, citing “logistical issues,” said the governor initially had been scheduled to appear at a location with restricted access.

The location was changed to an accessible spot, which was a burned-out home and chocolate shop along the main highway, and local officials briefed the media on the fire situation without him.

“He’s in Austin,” said Allison Castle, a spokeswoman for the governor, in response to a flurry of questions about Perry’s whereabouts after the briefing. The governor did not go to Bastrop today, she added.

Now let me get this straight, he could make it 1,500 miles to California for three fundraisers, but he could not make it 30 miles to Bastrop, Texas?   What?  He didn’t think people there would give him money?

Here’s a map for Rick.  Hell, it’s 30 damn miles.

(Click the little one to get the big one.)

Was he afraid of coyotes, rustlers, and all manner of stagecoach robbers along the way?

And here’s the clincher:

Another Perry spokeswoman, Catherine Frazier, said: “By the time we nailed down a second location we wouldn’t be able to get the governor there in time without making everybody wait.”

We have been waiting on Rick Perry for ten damn years, you think another 15 minutes would matter?

It is this simple:  Rick Perry did not want to have his picture taken in front of 1,400 homes burned to the ground after he (1) cut funds to fire departments by 75% and, (2) said the solution was to pray for rain.

Rick Perry is good at politicking but real bad at governing.

Did I tell you that he made the Lt. Governor sign the request for federal aid?

Verdelia says that Rick was afraid of getting soot on those prissy boots of his.

She might be right because Perry is plenty proud of those boots.  He likes to strut proud, but after this poopie del pollo move on the citizens of the State of Texas, Rick Perry is Moses Rose.

And you thought all Rick Perry’s endorsements came from fruitcakes, Ted Nugent, and rich old white billionaires.

Oh ye of little faith.

Rick Perry now has meaningful celebrity endorsement:  Birther Queen Orly Taitz

How ’bout them apples?

Standing in the rope line after Perry’s speech, Taitz spoke with the Texas governor as he wrote on her sign, “♥ Rick Perry”. Audio of the exchange was difficult to make out, but according to Taitz, she told Perry that he will “get Obama” and “will have him in prison for Social Security fraud.” Taitz was confident that Perry was receptive to her message.

Now, I know most of you are stunningly shocked that Orly Taitz got that close to Rick Perry.  I’m not.

Nor am I shocked that Orly Taitz would find barely sane Rick Perry attractive.

Me?  I’m just suffering massive embarrassment that the Governor of Texas signs his name with a little heart. Good Lord. He is such a little girl.  But, NO, he is not gay.  Listen to me.  He is NOT gay.  Not.  And John Wayne probably signed his name with a little heart, too.

A little heart.  He signs his name with a little heart.

Oh no.  Somebody hand me a Margarita.

Thanks to OldMay for the heads up.

..

We gotta talk to Glen about making another bumper sticker.

UPDATE: If you’re here from politicususa.com or The Huffington Post we are delighted to have you.  You can join in more of our fun by going to the front page and making yourself at home.  Being from Texas, we are not giant fans of Rick Perry.

.

You know the difference between  Paul Ryan and Darth Vader?  Darth Vader finally left the dark side.

Here’s the deal.  Folks are disrupting Paul Ryan events and the thin-skinned Mr. Ryan is having them arrested.

According to Oak Creek Patch, as many as a dozen protesters were escorted out of the event. Another dozen or so left willingly.

Ryan seemed supremely undisturbed that a senior citizen worried about receiving the Medicare he’s paid into his whole life was treated so brutally. Indeed, Ryan made light of the arrest and quipped to the audience, “I hope he’s taking his blood pressure medication.”

Paul Ryan can kiss my big blue butt.

Video here.

And the Republicans laughed. Maybe they would have clapped if the cops had executed the man on the spot.

Please help our friends in Bastrop.  Many good Democrats lost everything except the shirts on their backs.

It is heartbreaking.

If you will send a dollar with a note that you care and you are thinking good thoughts for them, Barbara will send me your return address and you will get a handwritten note from Juanita Jean and an official Juanita Jean business card to impress your friends.   You cannot beat that with a two pronged beating stick on National Beating Day in Beating, Texas.

Reminder:

I need you to sit down right now and put a dollar in an envelope and send it to my beloved friend Barbara who is the Democratic Party Chairman in Bastrop County, Texas.  If you want to send a check and get a tax deduction, make it  out to Bastrop County Ministerial Alliance (BCMA).

Several of Barbara’s good Democrats lost their homes.  At least one, if not more, Democratic precinct chairs lost everything.   One dollar says you care.  Please put a note with your dollar saying that you are a Democrat and you appreciate what she’s doing.

One damn dollar, people.  Dammit, I don’t ask you for much.  I don’t even have one of those damn tip jars on my website.  It’s a dollar for a Democrat.  I know you have a dollar.  If you have more than one dollar, send it.

Mail it to:

Barbara Nichols
1485 Watterson
Red Rock, TX 78662

Remember: if you have a little extra this month and want to get a tax deduction for it, make your check out to BCMA.  Barbara will get it there for you.

It’s just a damn dollar.  Do it.

Please.