Okay, Guys, one more day without 3G on this trip. However, I need your help with something pretty important. My friend Steve, who is an amazing writer, sent me this email —

TN’s Lt. Governor has come out in support of Perry for Pres. sending out an email on the state email service with things like this in it: Click here to see it all.

“Even Gov. Perry’s detractors concede that the economic success of Texas throughout the Obama Recession has been nothing short of miraculous,” stated Ramsey. “Slice the numbers anyway you like, Gov. Perry’s record in Texas doesn’t lie. I’m eager to see Gov Perry’s Texas recipe for economic growth served up to the entire nation.”

That doesn’t jive with what little I know but could you help me with some direction and specifics?

Steve

I have faith that you guys can help Steve and save Tennessee from Rick Perry.

Sic ’em.

I’ll be gosh-darned if I’ll let Grover Norquist outmean me!

Norquist hammered home his message: “Republican elected officials who vote for a tax increase are rat heads in a Coke bottle!” (Rats enjoy a special place in Norquist’s ideological imagery: Back during Bill Clinton’s presidency in the mid-1990s, ATR’s office mascot was a pet boa constrictor named Lysander Spooner, after a 19th-century tax-hating anarchist. Every week Norquist and his employees conducted a ritual sacrifice of a live jumbo white rat; just before dropping the piteous creature into the ravenous snake’s cage, they’d name it for a prominent Democrat.)

If you guys thought Dick Cheney was a Sith Lord, read this article and prepare to meet the Devil Sith Lord Vlad the Impaler.

Last night, the Fort Bend Independent School District appointed itself a new board member:  Cynthia Lenton-Gary.

This would not be newsworthy except for the fact that Ms. Lenton-Gary has run for the school board before and got whipped so badly that her grandchildren will be born shaking.  She also ran for Mayor of Missouri City last year and got beat like a tom-tom on tom-tom day by a nationally ranked tom-tom beater.

I’ve had a few run-in with Ms. Lenton-Scary myself because she’s joyfully dumb.  She is so lazy that we have to put out stakes to see if she’s moving at all.  But, Lord, she loves titles.  She will do anything if you give her a title, and if you have a crown she can wear, she’ll kiss your patootie.

Ms. Lenton-Gary has lost every race where she’s had an opponent.  That should tell you something.

So she got herself appointed to the school board.

Poor damn kids.

So how come nobody told me that Tom DeLay was backstage at the Rick Perry Hallelujahthon?

Well, I should have known.  There were cameras.  There were people who might buy his book.  There was an opportunity to be seen praying the loudest.  That, my friends, is a made-for-Tom-DeLay event.

He was there, rewriting history.

You can go see the video for yourself and see his maniacal laughter like Snidely Whiplash strapping Miss Nell to the railroad  tracks.

FANG: Regardless of the current leadership of Congress in the House, how do you think Congress should proceed in general as the C.R. runs out next month? There could be a government shut down–

DELAY: They’re going to face another shut down. And hopefully this time they’ll let it shut down until they get what they want. Everyone points to the shut down we had in ’95 and says it was a horrible thing. The horrible thing was when Bob Dole walked out on the Senate floor on Sunday afternoon and re-opened the government. Including in President Clinton’s own book, that if we’d had held out for one more day, we’d have won. […]

FANG: Were you praying today for reducing the size of government even if it comes to a government shut down?

DELAY: I’m always praying for reducing the size of government!

Well, Sugarcakes, you ought to be praying that your sweet patootie doesn’t spend 3 years in the Texas Department of Corrections after your appeal is over.

Where is Dudley Doright now that we really need him?

Okay, dudes and dudettes, I am turning this sucker over to you to make whatever comments you’d like about whatever subject you’d like. Imma gonna be sitting here for a few hours in78 degree weather.

You can discuss the credit downgrade, what plastic surgeon did that to Michele Bachmann, the riots in England, or your grandma’s favorite chocolate pie recipe.

Play nice, ya hear? When I get up to visit the necessary room, i’ll approve comments.

In case you missed it in the comment section, my buddy Glen who I trust in spite of him having been a Texas State Representative, has got the bumper stickers you’ve been asking for. Here’s what he says —-

If you put two green dollar bills in a tightly sealed envelope, to cove cost of the sticker and the USA guvment postage and my time going to the Postal Office, your friend Glen will send you one as soon as the printing place gets the suckers here. (This week). We can cut out the middle woman down there at the beauty shop who’ll mark em up high to make a profit off the Prophet.

They come in a nice red Republican warning color:

“Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president… please pay attention.” – Molly Ivins.

Glen Maxey
P O Box 2505
Austin TX 78768
glen@glenmaxey.com