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Customer Kary, who is a proud gay man, is all over this story about Michelle Bachman’s husband.  Kary emailed me this morning —

The gaydar on my desk actually vibrated and fell OFF onto the floor when I turned on an audio track of this flaming homophobe!     If this sucker sublimated his innermost desires anymore, they’d have to find a heart surgeon to open up his “heart”.  Wonder why you’ve NEVER seen him before?   He’s going to have to take butch lessons just to stand still.

On the upside, it would be very cool to have a gay man in the White House as First Lady.  Think of the decorating and State dinners!  Hubba hubba!

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I have a friend named Bud Malone.  You guys have seen Bud comment here.  He’s a genuine all-purpose imp.

Bud is also a grown up.  Bud was a Marine in WWII and then spent fifty years fighting for the working men and women of Minnesota and the Unites States.  He started as a journeyman electrician and ended up appointed to more boards and commissions than you can count, including time as a lobbyist for the AFL-CIO.  He has two gorgeous and smart daughters.

In Texas, we have a saying about a good horse.  “He can stand without hitchin’.”  That means you don’t have to tie your horse to the railing while you go about your business.  The horse can be trusted without being watched.

Bud Malone can stand without hitchin’.

He’s living in Phoenix, Arizona, now.  Last night, he had a bout of indigestion and …..

Damn, Bud.  You need to take something for that.

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Do you have any idea how much money this country spends on the judicial system?  A lot, that’s how much.

We gotta pay judges, bailiffs, court reporters, district attorneys, lots of flags for the courtrooms, not even to mention the $8 a day that jurors make in my county and the stinkers want chairs and lunch breaks to boot.

All this money is flat wasted.

We could just hire Nancy Grace to look at police reports and make a decision for us.

If you have any dingbat friends who think Nancy Grace’s obsession on people’s guilt is a good thing, please remind them of Nancy Grace’s actions with the Duke lacrosse team and the Elizabeth Smart kidnapping.  And, of course, the suicide of Melinda Duckett. And then there’s this:

The Supreme Court of Georgia has twice commented on Grace’s conduct as a prosecutor. First, in a 1994 heroin drug trafficking case, Bell v. State, the Court declared a mistrial, saying that Grace had “exceeded the wide latitude of closing argument” by drawing comparisons to unrelated murder and rape cases.^[8]

In 1997, the court was more severe, overturning the murder-arson conviction of businessman W. W. Carr in the death of his wife. While the court said its reversal was not due to these transgressions, since the case had turned primarily on circumstantial evidence, it nevertheless concluded “the conduct of the prosecuting attorney in this case demonstrated her disregard of the notions of due process and fairness, and was inexcusable.”^[9] Carr was freed in 2004 when The Georgia Supreme Court ruled unanimously that Fulton County had waited too long to retry him, thereby unfairly prejudicing his right to a fair trial^[10].

Despite upholding the conviction she sought, a panel of the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals wrote in a 2005 opinion that Grace “played fast and loose” with her ethical duties and failed to “fulfill her responsibilities” as a prosecutor in the 1990 triple murder trial of Herbert Connell Stephens.^[11] The court agreed that it was “difficult to conclude that Grace did not knowingly use … [apparently false] testimony” from a detective that there were no other suspects, despite the existence of outstanding arrest warrants for other men.^[11]

She’s a hate filled harpie who spends her life rounding up lynch mobs to attack innocent people.  She makes a mockery of our criminal justice system.  She is the Tammy Faye Bakker of law.  And those are her good points.

Real grown up women, do not hide behind a crime victim to justify snarling indictments of people and cases they know nothing about.

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Long time customer Kellybee had a vision.

Knowing Kellybee, I don’t know if it was from God or Johnny Walker, but all the same, it’s a pretty good vision.

I just had an inspiration…a new term to describe when a politician (or some such windbag) tries to re-explain something they said previously…it’s called “plate-spinning”.

Remember on the old Ed Sullivan Show, he always seemed to feature an act where some guy would spin a bunch plates or bowls or cream pies on top of poles? The poor shlub would then race from pole to pole in a desperate attempt to keep the plates or bowls or pies from falling, all to the tune of “Sabre Dance“.

Watching your boy Mitt Romney fumble his way through another flip-flop reminded me of that act…it also reminded me of a famous quote from boxing promoter Bob Arum:

“Yesterday I was lying, today I am telling the truth.”

Kellybee is a wise man with a solid vision of Mitt Romney.

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As most of you know, the Texas Board of Education is so narrow minded that they can see through a key hole with both eyes.  They think science is just a fad and that Jesus slayed dinosaurs while giving sermons disproving this silly round earth thing.

The bad news?  They wanted to take Thomas Jefferson out of Texas textbooks and replace him with Newt Gingrich.  No, I am not kidding.  They think creationism is valid and that high school chemistry classes should only be concerned with turning water into wine.

The bad news?  They pick our textbooks in Texas.

The good news?  We can’t afford new textbooks because the Republican leadership in this state spent all our money.

Sometimes things just work out really cool.

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In an obvious attempt to clean the gene pool, a motorcycle rider did his part —

ONONDAGA, N.Y. (AP) — Police say a motorcyclist participating in a protest ride against helmet laws in upstate New York died after he flipped over the bike’s handlebars and hit his head on the pavement.

State troopers tell The Post-Standard of Syracuse that 55-year-old Philip A. Contos of Parish, N.Y., was driving a 1983 Harley Davidson with a group of bikers who were protesting helmet laws by not wearing helmets.

Troopers say Contos hit his brakes and the motorcycle fishtailed. The bike spun out of control, and Contos toppled over the handlebars. He was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Troopers say Contos would have likely survived if he had been wearing a helmet.

And then there’s the case of Ohio Rep. Robert Mecklenborg, who stood on the Ohio House floor to champion the most radical anti-abortion legislation in the country.

Shortly thereafter, Rep. Mecklenborg, a self-described staunch Catholic  and the 59 year old married father of three, was arrested for drunk driving.  In the wee morning hours of Good Friday.  With Viagra in his blood system and a 26 year old stripper in the front seat beside him.

Mecklenborg says the DWI is the public’s business, but the 26 year old stripper “is a personal matter.”

But abortion is a not a personal matter, Skippy?

Thanks to Carl and Doug for the heads ups.