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The good news is that it looks like Crazy Leo Berman is not going to run for re-election to the Texas House.  That’s really, really good.

The bad news is that Republicans have found an equally crazy younger man to take his place.

Naval Reserve Lt. Cmdr. Matt Schaefer, U.S. Sen. John Cornyn’s East Texas regional director, will announce his run for District 6 seat occupied by state Rep. Leo Berman, R-Tyler, at 1:30 p.m. today at Donnybrook Automotive, 401 Troup Highway in Tyler.

Schaefer, 35, said he believes his life experiences, from West Texas peanut fields to Afghanistan, will translate into effective representation for East Texas.

Oh Lord, help us.

Honey, his wife is the Interim Director of the Tyler Junior College Apache Belles,  (Fair warning:  mute your sound before you click that clink, but do click that link.) which is a birthing room for future Miss Texas candidates.  The two met at Green Acres Baptist Church.  So, you figure he’s not real big on that women’s lib stuff.  I used to say that God didn’t give me a daughter because she’d grow up to be an Apache Belle just to spite me and I’d have to disown her.

Y’all, we need to find out where they are harvesting these bozos and stop them.

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Okay, so Texas Republican Congressvarmint Mike McCaul who is one of those Republican men with great hair, serves on the House Ethics Committee.

Mike McCaul and his hair

So, who is currently being investigated by the House Ethics Ethics Committee?  Mike McCaul’s Chief of Staff.

The House Ethics Committee is reviewing allegations that a top aide to one of its own members, Rep. Michael McCaul, violated House rules — possibly by misreporting payments from the Austin Republican’s campaign.

Juanita says, “If I were a betting woman, and I am, I would put Friday night’s bingo money on nothing happening to McCaul’s Chief of Staff.”

Plus, has anybody figured out what it is with Republican men all having the same dang haircut?  Are they cloning those dudes?

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So, Ethel, Verdelia, and Betty Mae hauled their uterus to court yesterday to see if big conservative government has any business in there.  They went to watch two women argue to a male judge over the state’s new sonogram bill.  There are serious doubts that it’s constitutional.

Judge Sam Sparks: He's got your whole uterus in his hands

The judge, Sam Sparks, was appointed by Daddy Bush so I would not expect him to be any great civil libertarian.  However, he did have a hanging point over what doctors are required to tell women about the fetus.

The Austin-based judge appeared uncomfortable with language in House Bill 15 suggesting that doctors provide explanations “understandable to a lay person.” He scoffed at the “everybody knows that” response to questions about the definition of a lay person’s understanding.

Sparks noted he spent 30 years defending doctors and hospitals while practicing law in El Paso before President George H.W. Bush appointed him to the federal court. He said it seemed obvious that the purpose of the bill was to limit abortions.

That State of Texas, who seems overly anxious to get into my uterus, then argued to the judge that if one part of the law is unconstitutional, he shouldn’t throw out the whole law.

“Ain’t that kinda like saying, ‘tear off the part of the sandwich that is rancid and eat the rest?'” Verdelia asked.

So, I was thinking, if the law says a woman cannot be forced to look at the trans-vaginal sonogram and if you throw out the part where the doctor must force a woman to listen to a description of the fetus, then the information obtained from the trans-vaginal sonogram can be tossed in the garbage without anyone ever seeing it.  So, what would be the purpose of doing it?  I mean, other than rape by the government.

Texas:  where crazy is codified into law.

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Rick Perry bans journalists or wiseguys from following him on Twitter.

But, apparently, you can whatever you want on his Facebook page.

Have fun, Guys.

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Since 1968.  That’s how long I’ve thought we should decriminalize marijuana.  1968.  Most of you weren’t even born then.  And with almost a sure bet on developing glaucoma in my lifetime, I need this stuff more now than ever.  Okay, maybe not ever.  There’s been some tension in my life, if you know what I mean.

Ron Paul and Barney Frank co-sponsored a measure “ending the federal war on marijuana and letting states legalize, regulate, tax, and control marijuana without federal interference.”

But Texas Congressvarmint Lamar Smith has announced that he will kill the bill.  Lamar Smith is delusional.  He thinks President Obama is personally encouraging people to smoke dope.  No, I am not high and making this stuff up.

Rep. Lamar Smith (Texas), the top Republican member of the House Judiciary Committee who would likely become chairman of the committee under a GOP majority, accused the administration of being too lax in its enforcement of drug laws.

“The administration is clearly sending the message that they don’t think it’s bad to use marijuana,” Smith said on Fox News. “So they’re encouraging the use of marijuana. And that simply is not a good thing to do.”

Lamar, Dude, you have reefer maddness. Every time you open your mouth, you encourage the use of stoopid.

Lamar Smith believes that marijuana leads to stronger drugs.  You know, like alcohol leads to rat poison. Blue jeans lead to dirty dancing.  Piano lessons lead to …. oh, excuse me, I’ve having a sudden attack of damned if I know.

I just don’t get it.  We sell cigarettes, alcohol, and caffeine, but cancer patients can’t use the most effective drug against nausea because Lamar Smith does not want to do anything that President Obama thinks is sane.

Lamar, I swear that if I get the glaucoma, I am coming to your office and stick a cattle prod in your overalls.  I promise you.

Look, Lamar, Willie Nelson smokes every day and he’s 78 years old and works harder than a man 1/4th his age.  He’s living proof that marijuana is like vitamins.

1968, Lamar.

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Other than the fact that they were drained from the same crankcase, I have no idea about the electric sexual tension between Sarah Palin and Rick Perry.

It made The Hill today.

It’s still too difficult to tell whether one or both will jump in the race. Perry seems more likely, and if he does, Palin might opt out and choose to back her friend.

In fact, during the midst of her recent bus tour, Palin brought Perry’s name up again, unprompted, telling a group of reporters in Baltimore, “I think he would be a fine candidate. We have a lot in common.”

She added: “I really like him.”

That kinda stunned me because I didn’t know that Sarah liked anydamnbody.

The truth is this:  Just because somebody looks like they are in the fast lane doesn’t mean they ain’t just hitchhiking.

I’m taking bets on when one of them is gonna bite the other.  Cause that’s gonna happen.