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It’s a World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., exclusive from customer Virginia Mary —

Click the little one to get the big one.

A big ole hug to Virginia Mary for letting us share.

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Rule #1 of Politics:  When your opponent is shooting himself in the foot, do not stop him.

I cannot believe the idiocy of some people.  Here we got Rick Perry holding a massive prayer meeting, thinking he’s gonna fill up Reliant Stadium (Hell, the Texans can’t even fill up Reliant Stadium) with people fasting in the Texas heat which means there’s gonna be people puking and passing out everywhere.  Hell, somebody is gonna sneak a Mars Bar in and get mugged for it by six real hefty ladies with Bibles, stretch pants and appetites.

Then, for fun, add some real nutty foot washin’, snake handlin’, speakin’ in tongues evangelists who are bound to say something so racist, mean, and/or pure-d hateful that The Daily Show can just rebroadcast them without comment.  If Pat Robertson comes, he’ll be the sanest man in the room, which would be a rare treat for him.  Plus, at least one of them is gonna get caught sparkin’ with the choir director’s wife or the organist’s husband.

I am so exited about this event that I’ve already got a beach umbrella, a stack of girlfriends, and a battery powered Margarita machine to sit in the parking lot and watch the People of WalMart parade into Rick Perry’s Six Flags Over Jesus Hallelujahpolooza.

But, noooooo … some damfool has to play right into their hands.

The Freedom from Religion Foundation on Wednesday asked a Houston federal court to block Gov. Rick Perry from participating in the Response, a day of Christian prayer and fasting at Reliant Stadium.

The lawsuit, filed on behalf of five Houston-area atheists, argues that Perry’s participation in the Aug. 6 event amounts to government endorsement of religion, a violation of the First Amendment.

Prayer and fasting, the Wisconsin-based organization said in the lawsuit, “are not only an ineffectual use of time and government resources, but which can be harmful or counterproductive as a substitute for reasoned action.”

Ain’t they got enough to do in Wisconsin?  I mean, ain’t it cheese season or something?  All these folks are managing to do is to give the Perryites a platform to say, “Oh, look at the Philistines, not giving us our First Amendment rights to gather and praise Jesus.”

Hey, thanks a bunch, Wisconsin fools, for turning a bunch of clowns into martyrs. That’s just what we needed – give them power instead of ridicule.

The Second Rule of Politics?  Don’t let some idiot break the first rule in your behalf.

UPDATE:  Great read if you have the time.  It’s work and Momma safe.  We’re dealing with crazzzzy.

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Remember when I told you that Gramian and I have a bet that President Obama will make Boehner cry this week?

Well, I’m changing the bet.

I bet President Obama will make Eric Cantor sit in the time-out chair.

Ironic Signage

Cantor, who earned the nickname Overdog early in his career for always siding with the fatcats, thinks he’s man enough to take on James Bond.  After rudely interrupting the President of the Damn United States of America three times, Cantor whined that President 007 schooled him with this –

At this, Mr. Cantor said, the president “got very agitated, seemingly.” Mr. Cantor quoted the president as saying: “Eric, don’t call my bluff. I’m going to the American people with this.”

You think that’s bad, Mr. Cantor?

The ladies at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., have sent the President a list of other things to say to you:

1.  Son, I’m going to raise a knot on your head so big that you’ll have to stand on a step ladder to scratch it.

2.  We’re fixing to have a butt kicking and you’re gonna supply the butt.

3.  I’m gonna hit you so hard you’ll wear out bouncing.

There’s more where that came from, Cantor.

Cantor, don’t pull on Superman’s cape, spit in the wind, or act prissy toward the Damn President of the United States of America.  He’s got cool and 50 IQ points on you.

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“Ole Newt is just sitting around waiting for the mainspring to run down because all he’s managed in his campaign is a hefty bag of broken dreams,” Juanita smiles. “For a while there Newt had a dog and pony show going on.  But, the dog wet everywhere and the pony didn’t know any tricks.”

“I do not feel sorry for Newt, now,” Juanita reports, “because a whole bunch more bad stuff has to happen to him for the karma scale to tilt even a tad.   So Newt, who ain’t got nothing to lose but his temper, has begun to hang his wash on Rick Perry’s line.”

Yep.  You heard her right.  Newt Gingrich, who once fancied himself as smart as Bill Clinton, is feeling mighty temporary right now so he’s talkin’ sweet things about Rick Perry, a man who makes Sarah Palin look like an owl with a fifty pound dictionary.

Newt said of Rick:

“I like him a lot. I wrote the foreword to his most recent book; I think he’s been a great governor of Texas; he will be a very formidable competitor if he gets into the race.”

And today there was this.

During a question-and-answer session with the Charleston Tea Party, Gingrich was asked by the moderator, a local radio host, to name “the second best candidate for the Republican nomination.”

Ole Newt has gone lower than a snake’s navel in a wagon track.  He wants to be Rick’s Vice President.

I used to think that Rick Perry on the ticket would insure that Obama gets 49 states.  Add Newt, and he’s got all fifty.

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I suspect some folks in Minnesota are gonna sober up and be really hacked off at Republicans.

Hundreds of bars, restaurants and stores across Minnesota are running out of beer and alcohol and others may soon run out of cigarettes — a subtle and largely unforeseen consequence of a state government shutdown.

In the days leading up to the shutdown, thousands of outlets scrambled to renew their state-issued liquor purchasing cards. Many of them did not make it.

Now, with no end in sight to the shutdown, they face a summer of fast-dwindling alcohol supplies and a bottom line that looks increasingly bleak.

Hey, Minnesota, listen up — y’all can drive down here and go to the sheriff candidate’s roping and liquor thingy.  But if $500 seems a little steep for a bottle of generic liquor, even if it does include some barbecue, IT’S WHAT YOU STINKIN’ GET FOR VOTING REPUBLICAN.

Seriously, don’t do that.  They take away your liquor, your cigarettes, your bingo, your floozy wimmen, and I have it on good word that they are coming for your remote control.

Even if you’re too drunk to fish or so drunk that you have to hold on to the grass to lean against the ground, you can remember three simple words:  Don’t.  Vote.  Republican.

Honey, they are after your life-style.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads-up.

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It’s in Salon and they have the documents.

Imagine how stunned I was to read that Texas Governor Rick Perry is a member of Sons of Confederate Veterans. I was stunned, stunned I tell you.

Go take a peek.  It’s work and Momma safe, but it might make you cringe several times.

Thanks to Steve for the heads up.