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What do you need to a scare a bunch of uneducated, fear based white people?

Uh, Whoopie Goldberg?

So, when Michelle Bachman wants to raise money, she uses the image of two black people.

Now, I could be wrong about this because I’ve been wrong before, but I’m pretty much certain that Whoopie Goldberg is not the only person who talks trash about Michelle Bachmann.   I’m sure you could find at least a dozen other people who have their bloomers in a knot about Michelle Bachmann.  Take Karl Rove for example.  He’s said far worse things about Michelle Bachman than Whoopie has.  But you do not see Michelle Bachmann sending out emails that say, “Let’s show Karl Rove!”

Black people.  Scary.  Black people with power?  Honey, that’s seat squirming scary.

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Texas Republican Congressjerk Pistol Pete Session’s wife finally had enough of his strip club goin’, love letter to Alan Stanford writin’, hair dying, Sanctity of Marriage lovin’ ways.

She’s divorcing his butt.

I ask for respect for my privacy and for that of my family, and I do not intend to comment any further,” Sessions said in a statement issued by his office.

For you folks from foreign states, we call him Pistol Pete because he eats bullets for breakfast and shoots all his mouth all day.

Sooooo, I suspect it’s true that that’s crepe paper stains on his hair instead of red dye.

And we can now redefine marriage as between one man and a strip club, a convicted financier, and 46 lobbyists.

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Okay, so the people opposed to the energy efficient light bulbs have won.  They are probably celebrating in the dark tonight because they are too damn cheap to turn on lights.

So, they will continue to use 100 watt light bulbs that cost you the same fair price as picture show popcorn to operate and burn out so often that you have to keep a ladder in the house replacing those suckers.

I think any Congressvarmint who voted for this goofy thing should be barred from every buying the energy efficient bulbs for life.  Eventually, they’ll fall off the ladder, break their butts, and then I’ll be happy.

But, here’s the part that makes me giggle —

“If a manufacturer should choose to continue to make 100-watt bulbs, they would be permitted under this language, as there is clearly a market based on the thousands of consumers who have contacted Congress upset about their inability to buy 100-watt lightbulbs,” Burgess said. “This is about the consumer driving the market, not the federal government deciding the market.”

Thousands of consumers have contacted congress about legalizing marijuana but the same guys who voted against regulating light bulbs do a 180 degree philosophical sashay on that whole federal government deciding the market thingy when it comes to that.  There’s obviously a market for pornography, but, hell, y’all regulate the hell out of it.

I think we ought to regulate grandstanding.  That’s what I think.

Thanks to Big Mike for the heads up.

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This magically showed up in my mailbox.

I have no idea who it is from, but I want them to know that I love it.  It is now the single most valuable item at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.  Prior to it arriving the most valuable item was Juanita’s purse.

Yes, we are a treasure trove of valuable items.

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It looks like Sarah Palin’s movie star career lasted six months less than her Governor career.

A reporter went to the opening of the new movie about Sarah Palin to get an interview with folks who came to see their hero Sarah do stuff like quit jobs and drive a bus.  He might as well have tried to swim up a waterfall.  The place was as empty as a Waco dance hall.

Four people showed up – two of them were lost and the other two were too cheap to rent a hotel room.  You know, your typical Sarah Palin crowd.

Instead of researching civil liberties violations, or the war in Libya, or the contest to elect the next president of the United States, I was both a journalist and the only member of the public willfully paying attention to Sarah Palin, as if standing in for the pathologies of my profession.

My suspicions?  The TEA Party members are either too cheap to buy a ticket, too old to stay up until midnight, or so white they glow in the dark and ruin movies for everybody else.

Probably all three.

Thanks to Carl for the heads-up.