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Yesterday, Governor Rick Perry vetoed the ban against texting while driving bill.

“I support measures that make our roads safer for everyone, but House Bill 242 is a government effort to micromanage the behavior of adults,” Perry wrote in his explanation of one of his vetoes.

Uh, what is a seatbelt requirement?  Or proof of insurance requirement?  Or the ban against driving while intoxicated?

“Now, right here you got yourself a Governor who pushed hard to force a transvaginal sonogram on woman planning to do something perfectly legal and constitutionally protected by Having the government put a probe in her vagina against her will, but a ban on texting while driving is too much government interference,” Juanita explains to people from foreign states.

“Since when did we get the freedom to drive unsafely?  But, more importantly,” she asks, “every damn time a texting driver kills or injures someone, does Rick Perry get to put a notch in his belt?”

“We micromanage the behavior of adults all the time.  You cannot run through your neighborhood wearing nothing but a coonskin hat and a pleasant smile.  You cannot fix stubborn stoplights with your 12 gauge.  Who knew?  I certainly didn’t.  You cannot moon the Governor, and that seems unnecessarily restrictive to me,” she says.

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Y’all, it’s Friday.  Work is done.  I pour a glass of wine.  And then, dammit, Louie Gohmert has to harsh my mellow.

Louie Gohmert: Muslim Police

Speaking on the House floor yesterday, Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) charged that the Obama administration had been ‘complicit in helping people who want to destroy our country’ and speculated that a mistake then-Senator Obama made on the campaign trail in 2008 might have been an admission that the president’s loyalties are actually with the Organization of the Islamic Conference.

No, seriously.  Louie Gohmert is the gift from Tom DeLay that never, ever, quits giving …. nausea, gas, indigestion,  heartburn, muscle pain, hiccups, blinding headaches, leg cramps, paper cuts, warts, hangnails, hammer toe, and has been known to cause eleven cases of UFO hysteria with the shine off his head.

And what factual evidence does Gohmert use to support his view that President Barack Obama wants to destroy our country?

It goes back to a speech the President made in 2008.  Louie explained this on the floor of the United States House of Representatives.

And I know the president made the mistake one day of saying he had visited all 57 states, and I’m well aware that there are not 57 states in this country, although there are 57 members of OIC, the Islamic states in the world.

And you thought Louie was just slapping his tongue around in his mouth, and words were just coming out all random and stuff.  Well,  I guess Louie showed you.

“Dumber than bean dip,” Juanita sighs.  “And, thanks to Tom DeLay, we can never get him out of office.  Our only hope is that a Muslim will shake his hand and Louie has to chew off his own arm to get rid of the cooties.”

Juanita calls him Gohmert Pyle.

Thanks to Steve and Karen for the heads up.

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TAMPA, Fla. — Mitt Romney sat at the head of the table at a coffee shop here on Thursday, listening to a group of unemployed Floridians explain the challenges of looking for work. When they finished, he weighed in with a predicament of his own.

“I should tell my story,” Mr. Romney said. “I’m also unemployed.”

He chuckled. The eight people gathered around him, who had just finished talking about strategies of finding employment in a slow-to-recover economy, joined him in laughter.

“Are you on LinkedIn?” one of the men asked.

“I’m networking,” Mr. Romney replied. “I have my sight on a particular job.”

You’re not unemployed, Mitt.  Out of touch?  Yes.  Goofy dork with no clue how to relate to real people?  Yep.

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A recent poll in Texas showed that both Rick Perry and Ron Paul are about as popular as Ebola Virus in Texas right now among the people who know them best.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry placed fourth in the new NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll with the support of 8 percent of likely Republican primary voters, while Houston-area Rep. Ron Paul ranked fifth with 7 percent.

Frontrunner Mitt Romney, the former Massachusetts governor, received 30 percent support from poll respondents, followed distantly by former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, 14 percent, and ex-Godfather’s Pizza CEO Herman Cain, 12 percent.

Okay, Ron and Rick, huddle up here.  Both of you are trailing a black guy who hasn’t even shown his birth certificate yet.

Juanita is beginning to think that you two could run unopposed and still lose.

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Juanita just heard that Michelle Bachmann has hired John Fund to write her Presidential kick-off book.

John Fund: Shiver Giver

“Honey, all those two need is a hungry two year old without a nap to have the Trifecta of Irritating,” she claims.  “Bachmann and Fund together are three quarters of a half-wit, and any relationship between what they write and the truth is totally coincidental.”

Our only hope is that they’ll drive each other nuts.  And, trust me, neither one of them has all that far to go to get there.

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