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“Oh Sarah,” Juanita smiles, “Girl, didn’t your mother tell you that when you start something you’re supposed to finish it?”

Amid diminishing media interest, Sarah Palin has quit her high-profile bus tour halfway through and returned to Alaska with her family, according to RealClearPolitics.

“Y’all,” Juanita grins, “the new Ain’t Sarah Dandy documentary is entitled ‘Undefeated.’  So, don’t be embroidering any Winners Never Quit mottoes on your couch pillows.”

Juanita is wondering why we didn’t hear about Canadians coming out of their houses to point to laugh at the bus as it made it’s sluggish journey home to mope?

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The Republicans in the Texas Lege stomped on every social program in the state of Texas.  They slashed  their budgets thin as hen’s skin rather than use the rainy day fund.  After all, what’s a hungry kid when Rick Perry’s Republican presidential stingy cred is on the line?

Not satisfied at hurting the least, the lost, and the last by cutting state programs, the Republicans have now gone after charities with a vengeance known only to the devil and old men who sit in lawn chairs and throw rocks at little children when they pass by on the sidewalk.

In Texas you can buy specialty license tags for your car.  They cost $30 extra.  Of that, $22 goes to nonprofits or state agencies, $7.50 goes to the state highway fund, and 50 cents goes to the county in which the vehicle is registered.  Texas charities earn $22.5 million dollars this way.

In a move designed to give smoke and mirrors a bad name, there’s now a proposal to defer half of the payment for two years.  In other words, the Girl Scouts or other non-profits could not access the money raised this year until 2013.  This will help  “balance the budget by turning it into state income,” Republicans contend.

“On paper.  Sure,” Juanita stomped when she heard this.  “Letting Rick Perry say he balanced the budget when he didn’t is so much more important than the Girl Scouts, Special Olympics, Big Brothers / Big Sisters, Texas Parks and Wildlife, UT and A&M scholarships, and Cancer Support.”

Nonprofits say the deferred payments will hurt them because they use that money to operate programs and leverage other sources of income, such as federal grants. They also worry that the state could come back in two years and pass another bill directing that money somewhere else.

“Nobody’s taking much comfort in that we’re supposed to get that money in two years,” Stallings said. “The longer it sits there, the more attractive it becomes for the state to want to keep it for some other purpose.”

“I swear,” Juanita mumbles, “these Republicans are so cold that you could get frostbite taking their pulse.”

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Okay, so the Huffington Post says that Rick Perry is ready to defend himself against charges that he is gay.  Because he’s not gay.

Rick contends that the rumors about him being gay, which he is not, were started by his political enemies and Texas trial lawyers.  You know, people who are probably gay.

The rumors have been around since Elvis died, and Rick doesn’t help things with some of his picture poses.  Which are, in fact, pretty much gay.

And, I do believe it was fellow Republicans who first brought up the Rick Perry could be gay agenda.

AUSTIN – A Web site for U.S. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison contained hidden phrases including “rick perry gay.”

So Gov. Rick Perry’s campaign is accusing the Hutchison team of being slanderous and of setting a negative and divisive tone.

The two Republicans are running for governor in next year’s GOP primary.

The Austin American-Statesman reported Thursday on the phrases.

Hutchison spokesman Jeff Sadosky said Hutchison’s campaign was not condoning those words. He said they would be removed.

Besides, if Rick Perry was gay, would he be pushing so hard to keep the TSA from touching his junk?  That’s not gay.  Crazy, yes.  Paranoid, sure.  Pandering, of course!  But certainly not gay.

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In case you missed it, John Huntsman announced for President in front of the Statue of Liberty and almost 100 people.  Several of them were holding maps and appeared to be lost.  One was drunk, but was probably not a member of the Huntsman family.

Best I can tell, Huntsman has every intention of traveling around the country stirring up apathy.

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As is becoming increasingly apparent, Rick Perry is a traveling fool.

Reports say that taxpayers spent close to $1 million for security during 23 foreign trips taken by Rick over a seven-year period.  And, now that he’s running for President, it’s growing.

Bud, actually, if you live in Texas, Rick Perry’s travel expenses are none of your stinkin’ bidness.  Rick Perry wants lawmakers to sneak in a provision on the school finance bill that makes his expenses none of your stinkin’ bidness.  You think how he spends your money is your stinkin’ bidness?  It ain’t.

Rick’s travel records used to be open.

More detailed records used to be available; for example, records showed expenditures in 2005 for golf cart and scuba diving equipment during a trip to the Bahamas.

But, now we only get totals and Perry wants to amend the school finance bill to stop even that.

However, there is some sweet accounting justice in adding it to the school finance bill.  Every time Rick gets on an airplane, we lose funding for a teacher.

Me?  Bitter?  Nahhhhh ……..

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….. it’s that I hate thieving corporations who buy politicians.

Today, Andarko had to make good on the $17 million they stole from American taxpayers.

Anadarko Petroleum Corporation, Kerr-McGee Corporation and their affiliates have agreed to pay the United States more than $17 million to resolve claims that the companies violated the False Claims Act by knowingly underpaying royalties owed on natural gas produced from federal and Indian leases, and numerous additional administrative claims,the Justice Department announced today.

I wonder if the Texas politicians they bought with that stolen money will return it now.

And if that isn’t enough to curl your hair, here’s a nifty little story about Harris county overpaying  $900,000 to UBS the very same month at UBS gave a $5,000 contribution to John Cornyn’s Leadership PAC.

No matter how cynical I get, I can’t keep up.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads-up.