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I love Paul Ryan.  I would kiss him flat on the mouth if I could for all he’s done for Democrats.  That boy needs to do even more talking!

In a special House election carefully watched by national political strategists, Democrat Kathy Hochul won what had been a Republican seat Tuesday in upstate New York, lifting Democrats’ hopes for the 2012 campaign.

As her campaign’s centerpiece, Hochul attacked changes in the Medicare program proposed by House Budget Committee chairman Paul Ryan.

“I’ll bet ya those Republicans are as surprised as a car-chasin’ dog that caught a Pontiac,” Verdelia chuckles.

It was truly a hot damn moment for Americans who love other Americans last night.

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Texas will now require a woman to have a sonogram prior to an abortion.  Most of it will involve this medical procedure:

You will lie down on a table with your knees bent and feet in holders called stirrups. The health care provider will place a probe, called a transducer, into the vagina. The probe is covered with a condom and a gel. The probe sends out sound waves, which reflect off body structures. A computer receives these waves and uses them to create a picture. The doctor can immediately see the picture on a nearby TV monitor.

You will not be forced to look at the image but you will be forced to listen to a description of it.  Forced.

Republican State Senator Dan Patrick praised God for allowing the State of Texas to insert a probe into your vagina.

Dan Patrick: A Disturbed Man

Sen. Dan Patrick, R-Houston, who has tried to pass the bill in previous sessions, said the timing wasn’t right before, but that God was finally ready for passage.

“This was the time,” he said. Patrick said if only 20 percent of the women viewing the sonograms decide against an abortion, 10,000 to 15,000 lives will be saved each year.

Women can decline to view the sonogram image and hear the fetal heartbeat, but, with some exceptions, they still must hear a description of the image.

Before the bill signing Patrick called it the best bill in the country, and afterward said, “Praise the Lord.”

“The good news is through the blood of Jesus Christ he forgives, and women who have aborted children need to know that message,” Patrick said.

I am a woman of faith.  But, for the life of me, I do not believe that God wants Dan Patrick and power of the State of Texas in my vagina or forcing me to listen to anything.  It shames when other people of faith force women to do anything.  It also shames me that they would want to do something this graphically sexual to a woman.

There is something horribly sick, demented, and terribly disturbing about this.

I think Dan Patrick is the one who needs to ask for forgiveness.  That level of sanctimony makes Sweet Jesus nauseous.  I’m real certain of that.

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I can’t reveal my sources, but I’ve heard there’s a new political drama set for teevee in Texas.  Luckily, my semi-reliable, low placed sources say it’s called:  Jeb Hensarling –  Money Whore.

The role of Jeb Hensarling will be played by Jeb Hensarling and his Republican hair.    The character Jeb, exactly like the real Jeb, is a Republican Congressman from Texas’ 5th District, which goes from North Dallas to – you guessed it – East Texas.

The opening season will explain that Hensarling spends his day stuffing money into his pockets.  All day, every day.  And there’s the distinct possibility that some of it may have ended up offshore, thanks to his best friends, Sam and Charles, the Wyly Brothers.  This part of the teevee show, of course, will be filmed in neon noir, at a honky tonk on the outskirts of Rush, Texas.

Oh, the Wyly Brothers.  They are two guys, brothers even, who are currently getting set for trial for trading stock illegally.

The Securities and Exchange Commission filed suit against the Wylys in July, accusing them of using offshore entities based in the Cayman Islands and the Isle of Man to hide investments in companies they directed. They are also accused of using insider information to guide their trading. The brothers, who allegedly netted $550 million in profit, were also the target of a Senate investigation into illegal tax shelters several years ago .

The Washington Post wrote an article about it entitled, “The Influence Industry: A leading Republican’s longtime ties to 2 men accused of financial fraud.”  Jeb and the Wyly Brother are tighter than skin on a sausage.

Jeb is a leading member of the House Financial Services Committee, and he’s been loudly critical of the SEC.  This part of the teevee show will take on the ambiance of a Corleone christening.

Well, they’ve already got the next season on the drawing board.

You remember UBS?  The Swiss bank that who agreed to pay a fine of $780 million to the United States and entered into a deferred prosecution agreement on charges of conspiracy to defraud the United States?  You know, the bank that lets rich people hide money.  You know, that bank.

Well, the star of our show, Jeb Hensarling, has stuffed the maximum allowable donation into his pockets from the boys at UBS.  And UBS also maxed out to Jeb’s PAC.

Now, we had to make this a fiction teevee show because nobody, flat nobody, would believe this is real.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

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Easy as cutting warm butter with a hot knife …..

It appears that Mizz Newt may have received an improper gift from Tiffany’s while she was still a congressional employee.

Gingrich’s claim that he had a “standard, no-interest account” as part of the “normal way of doing business” appears highly dubious. Tiffany does not appear to provide such a revolving line of credit account to regular customers. And Callista Gingrich’s disclosure documents clearly show the debt was carried for at least two years.

So either Gingrich and his wife paid high rates of interest on their Tiffany’s debt — or they received a special deal because of his political prominence. The fact that Tiffany won’t say a word — after Gingrich said to “go talk” to them — certainly raises questions.

However, in Mizz Newt’s defense — After all, diamonds ARE a girl’s best friend.

Yep, that there is one frugal necklace.

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The Texas Legislature only meets every two years.  That’s all the bribery, womanizing, boozing, and wasteful spending we can stand from the Republicans.

My State Rep and Me. I'm the good lookin' one.

We here in Fort Bend sent a new State Rep to Austin.  His name is Ron Reynolds, and he’s a keeper.  Ron, like every other Democrat who went to Austin this session, knew they were overwhelmed to the point that they were helpless.  But not hopeless.

Every living being in Texas can tell you a horror story about this legislative session.  I’m gonna let Ron talk for me.

We have had all session to deal with the crippling, multi-billion dollar budget shortfall, but instead of dealing head-on with the real financial problems of the state, we chose to shift attention to divisive, hot button partisan issues like voter ID, Arizona-style immigration legislation, and so-called “tort reform”; issues that have no bearing on what Texans care about most. As this session approaches an end, the House has descended into a perpetual legislative stalemate on the budget. Rather than taking a hard look at coming up with long-term solutions to our fiscal crisis, we are choosing instead to rely on chicanery and Enron-style accounting to get us through the situation.

Republicans are bullies.

It’s that simple.  They go after children, old people, the poor, minorities.  They are bullies.

But, even more than that, they are ineffectual at dealing with the people’s business.  We’re six days out and we still don’t have a budget, or a way to finance public education.

I’m sorry this ain’t funny.  But you know what?  This ain’t funny.

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The below bumper sticker appears it would be a very popular among Texans, especially Republicans.

It’s a good thing Rick Perry says he’s not running for president — only 4 percent of Texas Republicans say they’d vote for the governor, according to the latest University of Texas/Texas Tribune poll.

Good Lord, 5% of Texas Republicans like ebola, and a full 12% think burkas are a good idea.

“Hell,” Juanita smirked on hearing this news, “I could get at least 8% of Texas Democrats to say they support him just to get him out of Texas.”