.

This is why Juanita places her faith in God.  She is not smart enough to think up something this darned entertaining on her own.

Rob Johnson, who managed Gov. Rick Perry’s 2010 re-election campaign, has signed on with Newt Gingrich as Gingrich explores whether to run for president.

Johnson is the senior adviser in the Perry’s office right now.  You know, the one advising Perry to do diddle squat while the state is falling apart.

“Think of it,” Juanita dreams, “all the gravitas of Newt and all the brains of Perry.  A Frankenstein who wears fringe and mates with anything standing still.”

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James O’Keefe is panhandling.

“It sure beats the hell outta working,” Juanita says.

O’Keefe is sending out emails begging dollars, whining over his $50,000 credit card debt which he incurred in his quest to save America, not for any personal gain or attention at all.

Plus, even though James doesn’t mention it, all that video editing equipment is damn expensive.

And he claims that he’s getting death threats.  Which he, of course has not reported to the police because the police … well, they are in cahoots with NPR and ACORN.  Or something.

By the way, thank goodness, contributions are not tax deductible.

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Texas Republican United States Congressman Blake Farenthold has a lot of thing the ladies want, if you know what I mean.

Police are investigating a suspected burglary at U.S. Rep. Blake Farenthold’s district office that instead may have been a cleaning crew oversight.

And later in the story —

No matter the outcome of the investigation, Farenthold’s Chief of Staff David Lasseter said staff are following through with plans to install security cameras and an alarm system at the district office.

Woo, woo, I betcha those cameras might catch more of United States Representative Blake Farenthold’s Duckiepalooza parties.

Yeah, Hon, that’s Blake in the jammies.  With a minor.

“He says he was at a charity fundraiser,” Juanita explains.  “I do not even want to know what he wears to political fundraisers.  Don’t tell me.  I’m serious about that.  I do not gag stylishly.”

Folks this is what happens when there’s a Republican sweep.  Do not let it happen ever again.

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Times are tough and rich people are suffering, too.

It seems that someone wants to build an 80,000 square foot house in Los Angeles amid homes owned by Bruce Springsteen, Jay Leno, Michael Ovitz and David Beckham.  So, the neighborhood is fighting to keep the super-mega-mansion away from their regular mega-mansions.

Here’s a quote to help you understand how hard it is to be rich and maintain a quiet, simple lifestyle …

To residents like Sheinberg … who lives in a 7,800-square-foot country-style home, the thought of an even larger complex rising amid the hills is troubling.

“It’s hard for us to understand,” he said, “why anyone needs an 80,000-square-foot compound.”

“Dude, we completely sympathize,” Juanita says with compassion.  “It’s like when Lester got a promotion down at the plant and bought a double wide for Thelma.  It was just ostentatious.  Plus, it made all the other men’s winkies seem smaller.”

Being rich is a pain, Honey.

“However it’s good to know that in these tough times, the rich folks in El Lay are spending their time and money on a cause so worthwhile — insuring that everybody’s winkie is the same size of big.”

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CREW is asking to the Department of Justice files on Tom DeLay.

Today, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) filed suit in federal district court against the Department of Justice (DOJ) for failing to provide records related to the government’s investigation of former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-TX).  On October 19, 2010, CREW filed Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests with DOJ and the FBI for records related to the investigation of the relationship between the disgraced former Texas lawmaker, Jack Abramoff and others, as well as DOJ’s decision not to prosecute Rep. DeLay.

The DOJ is claiming that releasing them might interfere with their investigation, but they also said their investigation of DeLay is closed.  They also releasing their investigation would interfere with Tom DeLay’s right to privacy.

No, no, no.  Tom DeLay was a public figure when these acts were committed and the public has a right to know.

Come on, Justice Department, we paid for that investigation.  We get to see it.