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There’s an old saying in Texas that when someone is in a bad situation not of their own making and there’s nothing they can do about it, they should hump up and take it like an old bull in a blue norther.

You know when a blue norther is coming because of its distinctive navy blue line across the sky.  It comes fast so you better seek shelter.

This morning was 49 degrees when we got to the beauty salon at 9:30.  This picture was taken at noon.  Yes, those are icicles.

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Tomorrow is Sarah Palin’s birthday.  Juanita knows that because she got an official notification by email.

Just for fun, and, of course, Pin The Tail On The Bimbo practice, Juanita subscribes to the SarahPac email.  And, this one is a doozy!  They want you to send money to Sarah for her birthday, mainly because Oprah Winfrey and Aaron Sorkin have been trash-mouthing her.  And, to make matters more dire, Sarah is just like ….. yeah, you could have seen this coming a mile off …

Just like Ronald Reagan before her, Governor Palin is despised by the Left because she freely admits her faith in God, is unabashedly proud of America, and fights to limit the long arm of the federal government when it comes to our freedoms and our families.

“I don’t mean to be course about his, but doesn’t this qualify as mutilation of a corpse under Texas law?” Juanita wonders aloud.  “I mean, let the poor man rest in peace.”

Have a look-see for yourself.  Click the little one to get the big one.

If you are inclined to send Sarah a birthday present, might I suggest a book?

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“This is the largest load of poopie del pollo I have seen in a long damn time,” Juanita is storming around the beauty salon and slamming hairbrushes on tables.  She’s that mad.

We’re probably gonna have another rolling blackout.

Through gritted teeth she says, “Would you please explain to Mr. Trip Doggett that we can no longer refer to his agency as the Electric Reliability Council of Texas (ERCOT) because there ain’t no damn reliability involved at all?”

She’s wondering if there’s such a thing as a butane hair dryer or a propane curling iron.  “It’s bad enough that Miss Wanda had to sit with wet hair for an hour last week because we didn’t have enough electricity in all of Texas to dry her 80 year old hair.  The least they could do is send one of those pro-deregulation politicians down here to breath hot air on Miss Wanda’s coiffure.”

There’s a walleyed snot nosed hissy fit set to be thrown if they cut Juanita’s electricity again.

I’m just saying.  She ain’t pleased with the thought of hamsters rolling around a wheel to power her hair dryers.

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I suspect that our Super Delux Brand Christian Republican County Commissioner Andy Meyers is up to something again.  While a couple of our county commissioners have taken to posting their campaign finance reports online for everyone to see, Andy is once again in the dark basement of governmental secrecy.  He has not filed an online report since 2007.

That means that I will have to go to Rosenberg during regular working hours and sit in a stuffy office to look over his reports or, in the convenient but pricey alternative, I can order copies of his reports for ten cents a page.  I still have to go pick them up during regular working hours, making this process all but impossible except for the retired and pissed-off among us.

Andy Meyers. Yes, in fact, he did steal Tom DeLay's shirt

Andy’s probably double dipping with his car again or paying his country club membership.  I already got a $1,600 ethics sanction against him and I doubt he’s improved any in the ethics department since then.  However, he loves Jesus a whole bunch and will tell you about it so often that everyone counts the silverware before they let him leave the dinner party.

This editorial in San Antonio this morning reminded me that I haven’t check on Andy in a couple of years.

All city and county elected officials in Texas — and their political opponents — should have their campaign expenditure reports posted online.

The City of San Antonio currently posts such information. Bexar County only posts that of sitting county commissioners.

Voters who want to see the filings for all other Bexar County elected officials and their political challengers have to drive downtown to the county’s elections office to view the reports.

Heck, at least Bexar County gets their county commissioners to post online.  We can’t even get that.  Ours just do it voluntarily when they feel like it.  Being as how county commissioners in Texas is the most easily corruptible public office on earth, they at least should be required to lie online where everybody can see it.

I’ll try to get over next week and see what Andy is up to.

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In a shockingly display of uncharacteristic restraint, Texas Governor Rick Perry deliver his State of the State address this afternoon without a rifle slung over one shoulder and a dead bobcat over the other.

However, a strong odor lead some to believe that he had a long dead raccoon that he had strangled with his bare hands in his back pocket.  “It’s amazing that there was room for the raccoon,” Juanita reported, “what with all those insurance company CEO’s in the same pocket.”

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… this does not make sense to me.

State prison officials are considering a budget-cutting plan to lay off more than 1,000 workers , close three drug treatment centers including one in Burnet and reduce the number of meals fed to prisoners on weekends.

Hundreds of parole and probation officers would be among those laid off.

“Why the hell don’t we just open the prison doors?” Juanita asked when I told her about this.

“First off, most of the people in prison are there because of drugs.  Stopping treatment for drugs is insane.  So, don’t bother putting them in prison or don’t bother letting them out if you’re not going to try to solve the problem.”

“We’re laying off school teachers and parole officers,” she rolls her eyes.  “That just doesn’t seem like a working solution to the crime problem we have.  Honey, we have 112 prisons in Texas.  The Republicans want to turn them into Gulags.”

Thank goodness we have a couple of Democrats left in the State House.

“Tell them that plan is DOA,” said Senate Criminal Justice Committee Chairman John Whitmire, D-Houston, whose committee oversees prison operations. “Their plan could dismantle many of the treatment programs that are making our criminal justice system work right now.”

“Rick Perry’s Texas:  Bringing you cheap, underfed, and undersupervised labor from the Gulags,” Juanita suggests as a new state motto.  “I guess they need to remind him that his little buddy, Tom DeLay, will be spending three years there.”