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The Fort Bend County Republican Party meets tonight.  I know you’re excited.

They have a resolution on the agenda tonight.  You’re gonna love it.

Our local Republican Party wants to make a sizable donation to the Tom DeLay legal fund.  Apparently, someone in the Fort Bend County Republican Party still believes that Tom DeLay is innocent and got railroaded.  Apparently, they are feasting on hogwash.

Fort Bend GOP with Karl Rove and other old white guys

“I’m kerflummoxed over a few parts of this deal,” Juanita explains.

“First off, if people wanted to give money to the Tom DeLay Legal Defense Fund, why didn’t they give it to the Tom DeLay Legal Defense Fund instead of the Fort Bend County Republican Party?  I mean, if I gave money to the National Democratic Party and they gave it to John Edwards for his legal defense fund, I’d be mad enough to bite hammers in half.  And, Honey, there is no difference between Tom DeLay and John Edwards in any way, shape or form except that one of them is a normal sized person.”

“Second off,” she continues, “Lookie here at Brent Perry’s website to collect alms for Tom.  Tom gets the damn money tax-free.  He doesn’t have to pay taxes on it?  Hell, is it going to Credit Suisse?  This just chaps my patootie.  How much tax free money does he have?”

“Third off, any man who has his own cigar humidor at a fancy pants restaurant does not need money from me because – and there is no bitterness in my voice about this – I do not have my own humidor at an expensive restaurant.  There are hungry children in the world, and being a jerk about that is pretty much optional.”

She’s not finished.

“Fourth off, are you nuts?  Listen Republicans, why don’t your just put a big ole pile of money in the middle of the room, pour gasoline on it and set that sucker on fire?  At least it would be entertaining, which is far more than Tom DeLay is anymore.”

“Fifth off, and Lord knows that’s Tom favorite beverage and constitutional right so I’ll  make it the last one:  Go on, Republicans, do it.  That’s all the less money you’ll have to elect Republicans around here in the future.”

“Good luck at your meeting tonight, Republicans.  If you give Tom DeLay some more tax-free money,  you might as well buy some I SUPPORT CONVICTED FELONS tee-shirts for your candidates to wear in two years.  And, hell, Honey, I’ll make them for you for free – just so long you pay taxes on them.”

UPDATED:  The resolution was tabled by unanimous consent until the April meeting.  My sources say that the Chairman, Riot Rick, needed more time to garner votes for it.  As you recall, Rick Miller is a major delusional DeLay fan.

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“Credit Suisse, that Swiss banking giant, has more moves than a water wiggle,” Juanita announces this morning, “and it’s spraying all over us.”

McLEAN, Va. (AP) — Four bankers with Zurich-based Credit Suisse Group were indicted Wednesday on conspiracy charges, accused of helping U.S. taxpayers hide as much as $3 billion in assets from the IRS.

“It’s nice that we caught those sons of motherless goats,” she says, “and Lord knows I hope we get every penny from every rich American goat who hid money there.”

“But,” she shakes her head and puts her hands on her hips, which is fighting mode, “some folks already got their payback.  If you do your checking, you’ll see that in the 2009-2010 election cycle, Credit Suisse’s PAC gave $477,000 to federal candidates and committees, including $10,000 contributions to Speaker John Boehner, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, Ways & Means Committee Chairman Dave Camp, Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan and Rep. Randy Neugebauer (R-TX) and Pistol Pete Sessions (R-TX).”

“Now, I know that keeping Randy’s welfare yacht afloat and Pete’s mouth oiled is expensive, and since tax money ends up in their pockets anyway, they are just bypassing the whole IRS middleman deal.  From now on, rich people can just bypass the IRS and give their tax money directly to Republican congressmen to restock their campaign war chests.”

“It’s not like we taxpayers needed the money for anything anyway,” she grins.

Our friend Gramian sent us a fun story this morning.

It seems that the folks over at Buffalo Beast pretended to be one of the Koch brothers and phoned Governor Scott Walker. Walker, who is a tad slow in the gear shift department, fell for it, even though the call was placed on Skype.

Walker and staff willingly belch up their strategy and tell everything they know.

So, Juanita is pondering calling Rick Perry and pretending to be a Frenchman who wants to pave Texas and form the Rick Perry for President committee with enough money to land on Boardwalk with three hotels.

“Hey, it’s better than calling him and ask him if his refrigerator is running,” she admits.

“Maybe not,” Verdelia warns, “Rick falls for that, too.”

We are certain that Verdelia speaks from experience.

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I want to show you something.

On May 14, 2003, 19 immigrants died of suffocation, heat, and dehydration in the back of truck abandoned at a Victoria, Texas, truck stop.  The first to die was a 5 year old boy, who died in his father’s arms.  They were coming to America for the same reason my grandparents came – for a job and a better life.  The heat in the truck reached 173 degrees and these immigrants literally clawed out a taillight in their attempt to breathe.

There stands a memorial for these people on the road beside the truck stop.

I took this picture there last week.  You’ll note that people leave water and food at the sight.  Toys are often left for the children who died. You can click on the picture to see it in more detail.

It was a shameful event that opposes everything that Sweet Jesus taught us about our fellow man.  We know the Old Testament tells us, “You shall treat the stranger who sojourns with you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.”

And Sweet Jesus says, “whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”

Yesterday, Republican State Rep. Lois Kolkhorst, who is a graduate of Texas Christian University and who received the Freedom & Family Award from Texas Eagle Forum, introduced a bill in the Texas House.

Lois Kolkhorst

The Brenham Republican filed legislation yesterday that would allow sheriffs to drop illegal immigrants off at the local office of any U.S. representative. Apparently it’s a message to the Feds to take responsibility for the illegal immigrants languishing in our overcrowded jail system.

So, apparently Ms. Kolkhorst wants to human traffic, toting immigrants to offices and leaving them there with no food, water, or medical care.  They are not people, they are political toys for Ms. Kolkhorst.

I know I may be over-reacting about this, but it just peeves the hell out of me to see people treated worse than cattle and then used to make a political point.  I know that Ms. Kolkhorst will answer to God for this, but I want her to answer to me first.  She could probably use the practice.

And there’s one more thing you should know.  She is chairman of the Public Health Committee of the Texas House.   We are all soooo screwed.

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You know how it is when you’re driving home and you’re tired and hungry and you know there’s some ice cream in the refrigerator and that ice cream is so good that you can almost taste it and you even run a stop sign to get home to that ice cream and then when you get home, some damn fool ate the ice cream and then put the empty container back into the refrigerator?

You know how that is?

NAPLES: A Naples woman was arrested Sunday after deputies say she attacked her roommate over a box of Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies.

Hersha Howard, 31, of 7050 Ambrosia Lane, Apt. #3606, was charged with Aggravated Battery with a Deadly Weapon.

Howard’s roommate, Jasmin Wanke, told deputies she was asleep when Howard burst into her bedroom and accused her of eating the cookies.

Wanke said she gave them to Howard’s kids because they were awake and hungry at 1 a.m., according to a Collier County Sheriff’s Office report.

The women began to argue, then Howard reportedly jumped on top of Wanke and struck her in the face.

The two continued to fight until Wanke’s husband separated them.

Damn, Girl, everybody knows it’s only the Samoa’s that are worth jail time.