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The ladies at the World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. got a grooming question this morning:

Juanita, I know you are the latest word on fashion and style so answer me this. Does Joe Wilson (Alaska) just always need a shave or is that a fashion statement a la’ Miami Vice?
Bev

Thelma suggests, “I think he’s just blind.  Oh no, wait — that’s his politics.  His politics are blind.  His face is just hopeless.”

Any other thoughts?

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Juanita is painfully aware that Congress is dead solid set to restore the Bush tax cuts, which Juanita refers to as the Paris Hilton Tax Cuts.

“I have one small, insignificant suggestion,” Juanita suggests.  “I suggest that the Democrats add an amendment that demands that every GOPper congressvarmint who votes for it should have to expose (1) Will he or she benefit by it, and (2) exactly how many people in their district are rich enough to benefit by it.”

“The Democrats should extend tax cuts ONLY to tbe bottom 98% of people.  The rest of them should pay what they paid under Reagan.”

“Let those suckers push that!” she dares.

“They are promising to shut down government over this.  Hell, that don’t scare us.  They’re gonna drown it in the bathtub anyway.  Self-serving, greedy, sell-out sons of motherless goats!”

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My friend Kary sent this.  He got it emailed to him and doesn’t know who the original writer is, but I found this.

After The 8 Years Of The Bush/Cheney Disaster, Now You Get Mad?

You didn’t get mad when the Supreme Court stopped a legal recount and appointed a President.

You didn’t get mad when Cheney allowed Energy company officials to dictate Energy policy and push us to invade Iraq.

You didn’t get mad when a covert CIA operative got outed.

You didn’t get mad when the Patriot Act got passed.

You didn’t get mad when we illegally invaded a country that posed no threat to us.

You didn’t get mad when we spent over 800 billion (and counting) on said illegal war.

You didn’t get mad when Bush borrowed more money from foreign sources than the previous 42 Presidents combined.

You didn’t get mad when over 10 billion dollars in cash just disappeared in Iraq.

You didn’t get mad when you found out we were torturing people.

You didn’t get mad when Bush embraced trade and outsourcing policies that shipped 6 million American jobs out of the country.

You didn’t get mad when the government was illegally wiretapping Americans.

You didn’t get mad when we didn’t catch Bin Laden.

You didn’t get mad when Bush rang up 10 trillion dollars in combined budget and current account deficits.

You didn’t get mad when you saw the horrible conditions at Walter Reed.

You didn’t get mad when we let a major US city, New Orleans, drown.

You didn’t get mad when we gave people who had more money than they could spend, the filthy rich, over a trillion dollars in tax breaks.

You didn’t get mad with the worst 8 years of job creations in several decades.

You didn’t get mad when over 200,000 US Citizens lost their lives because they had no health insurance.

You didn’t get mad when lack of oversight and regulations from the Bush Administration caused US Citizens to lose 12 trillion dollars in investments, retirement, and home values.

You finally got mad when a black man was elected President and decided that people in America deserved the right to see a doctor if they are sick. Yes, illegal wars, lies, corruption, torture, job losses by the millions, stealing your tax dollars to make the rich richer, and the worst economic disaster since 1929 are all okay with you, but helping fellow Americans who are sick…Oh, Hell No!!

Kary thinks we should make copies of this and stick it on the windshields of every car with a Republican bumper sticker.

I’m already doing it!

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John Boehner is cold as the Klondike toward the idea of Michelle Bachmann  holding a GOPper leadership position.

Boehner, aware of the role tea partiers played in making him the next House speaker, is endorsing no one. His lieutenants are lining up behind Rep. Jeb Hensarling of Texas, leaving no doubt that Hensarling – and not Bachmann – is the leadership favorite to chair the GOP conference.

Oh yeah, another crazzy Texas congressman.  He’s Phil Gramm’s puppet, but he does have proper Republican hair.

“Personally,” Juanita says, “I would prefer Bachmann, but that’s only because I love free entertainment.”

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Texas G9vernor Rick Perry has decided that we should allow states to “opt out” of social security because it’s a “ponzi scheme” and has something to do with tube socks, but we still don’t understand that part.

Perry says seceding from Social Security is just one of many ways the system could get fixed — he said that raising the retirement age or privatizing parts of the system are changes he could support.

“Yeah,” says Juanita, “and the minimum wage is a crutch and child labor laws are making wimps out of all our kids.  Sweat shops are simply low cost saunas.  The 40 hour work week makes people fat and lazy and paid vacations just make people go fishing and there’s entirely too many people fishing as it is.  Clean air means you have to trust air you can’t even see, and food inspection is just silly because if enough people die from contaminated food then people will just quit eating which would solve the obesity problem right there.”

“Shoot, forget making Rick President.  Let’s just make him king!  He’s got more good ideas than your average raccoon.”

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It’s about 8:00 and I finally got to a computer and internet connection!

Thank you all for updating me while I was scampering around all day.

Usually, the first thing I do to check to see what Tom DeLay is up to today but – dayum, Honey – this floored me.  They need to get   knees and beg Keith to forgive them for being dumber than bean dip.