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I cannot be funny about this.

I think we’ve told you about Tom DeLay’s Rio Bend Community for foster children.  It was paid for by the DeLay Foundation for Kids.   The donated land sat empty for years, the sign even faded, and then Tom was indicted.  Almost overnight the place went wild with activity.  Eight gorgeous foster homes were built, fancy landscaping, swimming pool, weight room, a church with a little white steeple, a large gym, a lake with a fishing pier – the works.  All to make Tom DeLay look lovable.  After all, he truly cared about kids so he could not possibly be a criminal.

For well over a year now, the place has gone to seed.  There’s only one house occupied – the other 7 houses sit empty in a neighborhood filled with people who need a home.  The landscaping has been plowed over and weeds fill the garden around the church.  The parent organization – Lutheran Charities – has pulled out.

I’m not going to put up any recent pictures because there are no trespassing signs all over the place, but here it is before it went to seed.

Tom DeLay is in trial in Austin.  No telling what the outcome will be because he has a high priced fancy pants writ twit doing his talking.

And for all of the kudos and bows he took over helping poor little kids, it comes down to this when the chips are in the table.  They are cashing it in and calling it quits.  (It will open in a pdf.  See page two for proof of the picture below.)The kids aren’t a useful front for him anymore.

We hope that once the trial is over, the DeLays will do the right thing and let people who truly care, and don’t just wear their religion as a fashion accessory, take over the property.

There are children who need a home far more than Tom DeLay needs a child to hide behind.

And this one will do just fine.

I’m sorry I cannot be funny about this.  I have watched little kids be the victims in this mess since it started in 2005 when Tom got wind that he was going to be indicted. I have watched it for far too long.

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There’s a school district in Louie Gohmert’s 1st Congressional District of Texas that is enjoying the real benefits of increased spending.

As you know, Louie Gohmert is as worthless as a four card flush.  He’s a rightwing rolling ball of butcher knives about the “guvmint” doing anything besides climbing in my uterus and roundin’ up Mexicans.

Come to find out, a school district in Louie’s congressional district has been stealing money to make themsleves look good.

Dozens of wealthy Texas school districts held onto more than $40 million in tax dollars that should have gone to poorer districts under the state’s so-called “Robin Hood” law until the state demanded they pay up this year, according to records obtained by The Associated Press.

But of those dozens, one stands head and shoulders above the rest – the Hallsville school district in Harrison county withheld $8.5 million owed to the state.  They used that money to raise the ranking of their 4,200 student district to a higher level on the Texas Education Agency’s scale.

Here’s the clincher.  Pay close attention to the last paragraph.

Instead of sending the $8.5 million to the TEA, Hallsville used it to help fund a three-year, $25.3 million spending spree that coincided with the district raising its accountability rating from academically acceptable to exemplary. Among the district’s expenditures was $13.4 million for the hiring of 110 new employees, including 60 teachers.

“The shame of this is it taints what we did,” said Jason Peterson, a Longview banker who serves as school board president. “We hired a great staff, got what we needed and tried to provide the best education we could.”

“Taints?  Did he say taints,” Juanita asked as she combed out Verdelia’s hair before building her beehive and spraying the hell out of it.  “I think taints is not the word he needs.  I think the word he needs is that increased spending leads to better results.  But, you can’t say that in East Texas because nobody, especially including bankers, thinks that’s proper.  However, stealing from poor kids seems to be just hunky dorey.  They trotted right pass ‘recognized’ and went straight to ‘exemplary’ just by spending more money, even if it was money they swiped. ”

“How’s Louie Gohmert gonna explain this?” Juanita wonders.  “My guess is that he’ll say we should steal from poor kids more often.”

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The day after election, Bubba called me in the late afternoon and asked, “Can you be packed and ready to go up to the cabins tomorrow morning?”

I can pack to go to the cabins in 30 minutes flat.  Bubba had cleared his schedule and needed some time to think what the fool tarnation just happened.

Usually, you guys don’t know when I travel because through the miracle of modern big time journalism, I can even post from my iPhone.  But, I’m gonna fess up now that I’m home.  I left Juanita to fend for herself.

The cabins it was, for a week of solitude, great food, and fall colors that only God can paint.  Bubba even fixed dinner on the porch one night.  The cabins were wonderful and we chatted until late at night under the stars, trying to figure out what happened in this election.

Sadly, even after pouring over numbers, reading analysis, and pondering 80 years of political experience between us,  it was not until our way home that we figured out what the hell happened in the election:  There are just too damn many crazy people in this country.

Hot Springs, Arkansas.

I am not an expert on this guessing ages thing, but I highly suspect that here’s some dude clearly on Medicare who claims to be against socialized medicine.  It’s obviously kept his stoopid butt alive and, dammit, it’s socialized medicine.  I also would like to take notice of his claim that he “will work for my seniors.”  Who gave us to you, Cowboy?  And if that particular campaign promise means that you will take our greeting jobs at WalMart for us so we can afford to eat, then hell’s bells, I’ll even vote for you.

He’s gonna turn people over to Fox News?  For torture?  Good Lord, I’ll take lashes and a one way ticket to Alcatraz over being turned over to Fox.  Would that include having to fetch Glenn Beck’s brains when they fall out?

You know, if I ever had any doubts that I’m on the right side of the political aisle, I just remember that this guy is on the other side.

And then there’s Lufkin, Texas – pines, poverty and Pentecostals.  There was a Democrat who lived in Lufkin once, but he died.  They didn’t even bother to bury him because they figured the devil would just pull him down for them.

Lufkin, Texas, on Highway 59.

No, we don’t get it either.

Somebody in Lufkin with a mess of money “gets” this.  That scares me.  No, seriously.  They have money, probably own a car, and might even have a hunting rifle.  If that don’t worry you, somethings wrong with you.

So, you will be happy to know that Bubba and I figured it out – there’s just too damn many crazy people.

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So explain to me how a guy would even think about this stuff?

While suggesting he will be set up, Beck assures his listeners “I’m not into child pornography”

Juanita would like me to tell you that she has never once, not even once, felt the need to tell you that she’s not into child pornography.   Or, if someone produces pictures of her baying at the moon, just know that she doesn’t bay, generally can’t find the moon, and has no idea what “at” means.  Got it?

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There’s an old joke in Texas that the Texas A&M University Library had to close down.  Why?  They lost the book.

Now the joke has become whether our politicians with autobiographies even  bother to read the books they didn’t write about themselves.

No one was particularly shocked when it became obvious that Dubya didn’t write his book.  But, even Juanita was a tad taken back when the ghost writer that Bush hired really was a ghost – who read other people’s books.

“Baby Cakes, if I hire somebody to write for me, I at least want a discount for pre-used paragraphs,” Juanita grins.

We saw that Tom DeLay didn’t read his own book either when he swore up and down that certain paragraphs in his book got there through voodoo or gremlins.

“Hey,” Juanita laughs, “I have often said that I speak Texan, which is a lot like English.  People generally laugh, but now Tom is using it as a defense.  Can’t you just see the Supreme Court deciding if Texas really does have it’s own language, which ain’t English?  Up until this very moment I thought that Tom wanted English to be the official language of the United States.  Apparently, he can’t speak it.”

“And while we’re on the topic of high octane irony, ain’t it charming that Joe Miller, of Tea Party fame, is demanding good spelling?  Up until this very moment, I thought the Tea Party trademark was bad spelling!”

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It appears that the GOP leadership wants to start with the big problems first.

The ranking member on the House Energy and Commerce Committee, Texas’ own Joe Barton, wants to defend the right of light bulbs.  He’s picked up on Rick Perry’s government-is-taking-my-salt thingy and admitted that he feels the same way about the “little, squiggly, pig-tailed ones [lights].”  Joe swears to fight the good fight for incandescent light bulbs.

“Phew,” Juanita says, “I was worried that they might forget the real important stuff.”

You guys will remember Joe Barton as the guy who apologized to BP for letting our Gulf ruin their oil.

Joe also wants to appeal health care because – dammit – children with a pre-existing condition do not deserve health insurance.  Hell, most of them aren’t even employed.  Do we really need those children?  Are they really all that cute?

Joe Barton – everybody’s favorite villain.