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The jury in the Tom DeLay case went home for the second night.  All the fascinating details are here.

Let me try to explain to you how nuts this is for folks around here.  I have friends who have an actual job who insist that I email them hourly to let them know what’s happening.  I went to lunch today with a good friend but we had to play it by ear so we could go while the DeLay jury was out at lunch so we wouldn’t miss anything.  Still, we kept our iPhones on the table.  Just.  In. Case.

Here’s my take on this sucker:  one (or more) jurors don’t understand how it can be money laundering if the money wasn’t obtained illegally in the first place, like drug money is.  They keep asking the judge to explain, but the judge won’t, and he’s probably right not to.

It was looking good for the defense today until a note came out asking the judge to define “money fraud,”  and they also asked what amount of money would make “money fraud” a felony.   That made it look like they want to find him guilty of somedamnthing.  However, there is no legal statute called “money fraud” in Texas.

But for the entertainment of all present, Tom, of course, is playing the Jesus card.

Tom DeLay said he is being reassured by friends with daily Bible verses. Today’s is Romans 8:28 which DeLay says talks about, “No matter what your trials or tribulations are, everything is for the good for those chosen by the Lord.

“No demons, nor angels, nor district attorneys can keep you separated from the love of Jesus Christ.”

I looked it up, and Roman 8:28 shockingly doesn’t even mention DA’s.  The Bible does, however, mention money changers.  Yep – money changers.  Matthew 21:12, Mark 11:15, and John 2:15.  Den of thieves, I believe Sweet Jesus said.

We will keep watching on this end.

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Juanita recognizes that it’s become popular to compare anything you don’t like to Hitler. However, she deems it inappropriately wasteful that Barack Obama is the only thing that’s been carried along with this fast-paced trend.

Take, for example, Rand Paul.  Rand The Man With No Plan said that Obama’s rise to “power” mimicked … you got it … Hitler.

Soon-to-be-Kentucky Senator Rand Paul once appeared to express anxiety that the state of affairs in America was opening a path for President Obama to grow into a Hitler-like leader who would snatch up civil liberties in the name of security.

And since all politics are local, Fort Bend County’s own Kesha Rogers, the smug queen of the LaRouchites, has taken to singing Christmas Carols about Obama being Hitler.  LaRouchites are to politics what professional wrestling is to sports.

“It seems wasteful, not to mention terribly unfair to Hitler, that Obama gets to be the only thing that’s like Hitler.  Honey, Republicans and LaRouchites can’t be hogging all the crazy,” Juanita explains.

Juanita suggest that all of us at the beauty salon start spreading the Hitler around.

“That hairdo is Hitler,” exclaims Verdelia.

“Crap! This hot dog tastes like Hitler,” adds BubbaX.

“Oh, the pain!  I think Hitler is in my feet,” suggests Thelma.

They’ve got the hang of it.

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Okay, the jury in the Tom DeLay trial has come out twice to ask questions.  The first one was “Can it constitute money laundering if the money wasn’t procured by illegal means originally?”  And they are on their way to the courtroom right now to ask the second question.

Given those questions and the fact that the judge gave a jury charge that’s highly favorable to DeLay, I seriously doubt that there will be a conviction.  He will be double cocky and an insufferable victim.  I’m just warning you.

UPDATED: The jury went home for the night.  They will resume deliberations on Tuesday morning.

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Juanita has decided that the new airport pat-downs are nothing more than gate rape.

“This is America, dammit,” she hollers.  “Why the hell are we putting up with this crapola?  One of my customers is threatening to take her aging butt to the airport and strip down nakkid as a jaybird and scare little children and grown men.  I’m going with her.”

When a San Diego man opted out of security screening using the Advanced Imaging Technology (AIT) at San Diego International Airport on Friday, he stripped down to his underwear in an attempt to avoid the pat-down procedures.

Samuel Wolanyk took the protest started Nov. 13 by John Tyner to a whole new level.

While Tyner videotaped his refusal to be patted down, telling the agent “If you touch my junk, I’ll have you arrested,” Wolanyk decided to give TSA a look at his body down to his Calvin Klein’s.

Through a statement released by his attorney Sunday night, Wolanyk said “TSA needs to see that I’m not carrying any weapons, explosives, or other prohibited substances, I refuse to have images of my naked body viewed by perfect strangers, and having been felt up for the first time by TSA the week prior (I travel frequently) I was not willing to be molested again.”

“When did we become a sissy nation willing to get felt-up in exchange for the illusion of freedom? It’s far more dangerous to ride in a car than it is in an airplane but we don’t make people drive nakkid, do we?”

“I feel like going to the airport, stripping down nakkid, then picking Ruby and Begonia up off the floor and asking the TSA agent, ‘You want a piece of these, Baby,’ and that should end this craziness once and for all,” she bets.

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We here at the World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., will spend today waiting.

Final arguments in the Tom DeLay trial are this morning.  The case will probably go to the jury after lunch.  We will bring you the results.  Those of you scoring at home, and we certainly hope you are, can see the play-by-play right here at Hal’s Most Esteemed Tom DeLay’s Coverage.  (Start at November 7th and scroll up.)

Wagers are being accepted at Thelma’s manicure table.  It works this way: You give her a five dollar bill.  She puts it in her right pocket and then shockingly gives you five ones from her left pocket.  It’s magic money and a special trick that Thelma learned in honor of Tom DeLay.

You can keep up right here.

UPDATE:  From the Houston Chronicle —

The defense won a major victory in the charge visiting District Judge Pat Priest gave to the jury. It, essentially, said DeLay merely knowing Colyandro and Ellis and what they were doing was not enough to convict him.

“Mere association with persons involved in a conspiracy, if there is one, is insufficient to prove participation in a conspiracy,” the charge said. “Likewise, participation in a conspiracy cannot be proven merely by the fact that a person knew of a conspiracy and was associated with or in the presence of persons involved in the conspiracy.”

However, the charge also said: “An agreement constituting a conspiracy may be inferred from acts of the parties.”

Hell, with those standards, I don’t think that even I would find him guilty.

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Juanita has no idea why the Steeple People are so attached to the Ten Commandments.  “Other than the fact that they love to say NO! unnecessarily loud, I don’t see the attraction to the Ten Commandments.  It wasn’t even a good movie,” she says.

“I, having been brought up in Sunday School, love the Sermon on the Mount.  That’s Sweet Jesus and his message, all rolled into one sermon,” Juanita explains.  “I suspect the Super DeLux Brand Christians don’t like the Beautitudes because there’s no references to gun-toters, haters, or bad Samaritans being followers of Sweet Jesus.”

“So, anyway, East Texas State Representative Dan Flynn (Rep, I’m-a-better-Christian-than-you-are-ville) is pushing himself a bill to let teachers put the Ten Commandments “prominently displayed” in the classroom,” she reports.

“My position on this hasn’t changed,” Juanita says.  “When the Baptist Church starts prominently displaying the periodic table of elements in their church, I’ll be all for the ten commandments in the classroom.”

“You do know why the don’t display the Ten Commandments in the Lege, don’t you?  The whole Don’t Steal or Lie thing.”