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I am totally whipped this morning.  I feel like I was run down, run over, and wrung out through a little bitty wringer.

Juanita and I will have plenty of cussin’ and discussin’ to do, but right now I need to rest-up just to be tired.

It’s bad enough that Democrats did this to ourselves but the fact that we paid professional “political consultants” the same fair price as picture show popcorn to do it to us, well, Honey, that feels like stepping in the same cow patty twice.

I’m not quittin’ but I am gettin’ meaner.

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I have no idea why I am here tonight on teevee.  It seems pretty obvious that no other Democrats left home today for any reason.

I am wondering if Rick Perry can see the White House from his $10,000 a month mansion.

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To be honest, I had planned on coming on teevee to explain the Democratic election strategy to their viewers, but now that I think about it, it might be better to spend the time explaining something that’s a little easier to understand, like theoretical quantum physics or the plot of the 6th season of the TV show “Lost.”

Explaining Democratic strategy in Texas this year is like explaining the weird kid in the corner eating paste.  He thinks it tastes good, he likes the attention, but he doesn’t seem to care if it makes him a loser.

Seriously, how do we as a political party look back at what we did in 2008, and then say to ourselves, “Oh no, we absolutely do not want to do THAT again.  In fact, let’s do the exact opposite!”

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There’s a couple of thing I want you to remember —

In 1936, FDR was elected in the largest landslide ever.  In 1938, after cutting back on government spending like the Republicans wanted him to do, Democrats lost 71 seats, the biggest loss ever.

In 1966, after a landslide victory, Lyndon Johnson lost 47 seats.

In 1982, after a landslide victory, Reagan lost 30 seats.

This is what happens.  It’s how it works.

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We’re through here until 10:00.  We’ll be back on at 10:00.

It’s a rout.  We need to start circling the wagons.  What Texas needed was a candidate who was a witch.  We could have gotten out the vote if we had a witch.

If you give a person a choice between voting for a Republican or voting for a Democrat who says he’ll vote like a Republican, they will vote for the real Republican every damn time.

The difference between Republicans and Democrats came better in focus for me tonight.  Two years ago, I felt awe-struck over our victory.  I felt the tremendous responsibility that brought.  If my GOP counterpoint here tonight were any more smug, he’d drown in a  rainstorm.  I have felt the need to remind him that Newt Gingrich is now unemployed and Tom DeLay’s job is “defendant.”

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I just heard that Rick Perry is having his election party at the TDS Big Game Ranch.

Y’all, is he Kenyan?