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Posted on Bill White’s Facebook page —

Rick Perry now refers himself as a “good ol’ fighting Aggie” and calls me a “Harvard boy.” OK. At age 20 I helped put together a bipartisan coalition to pass legislation to reduce oil imports through energy efficiency and a stronger domestic oil and gas business. Then I returned to Harvard and then UT. At the same age Rick was a yell leader, which is great. Surely both Rick’s parents and mine were proud of us.

Oh, Rick, dude, go on home with your cheerleading tail between your legs.

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This has diddle squat too do with politics or hairdressing, but I just wanted you to know that if you don’t read Hyperbole and a Half every day, your life is incomplete.

That’s all I need to say.

Thank you for your patience.

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This was hung on the snack room door this morning —

Nearly as many Texans believe Barack Obama is a Muslim as approve of his performance as president, according to the latest University of Texas/Texas Tribune poll.

“They only call him a Muslim because they can’t call him the N word,” Juanita assures us.

“The only thing that keeps me from moving to a foreign state is that 52% of Texans think that’s a mess of hooey,” she says.

“It’s hard to teach the unteachable,” she admits.  “But it’s even harder to teach an ignorant son of a motherless goat.”

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Juanita asked me to let all your people know that it’s now a proven scientific fact that being popular has a price.

As any teenager will tell you, being popular is totally awesome. But it has a downside: According to a new study, popular people tend to catch the flu first.

When the flu is going around, people at the center of social networks — those who are named as a friend by others — come down with the virus about two weeks earlier than a randomly selected group of people, the study found.

Cough.  Cough.

Get your flu shot!

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Juanita and I deeply appreciate what the Republicans did yesterday.  We both like to take vacations in the Fall and knowing that we leave you in the capable hands of the Republican Entertainment Industry makes us feel less guilty.

“It appears that Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin have sold the GOP an expensive assortment of factory seconds,” Juanita says, wiping sleep from her eyes from staying up all night thanking God for the manna he was bestowed upon Democrats.  “The Teahadists won it all last night.  Honey, I’d rather test bulletproof vests than be a Republican this morning.”

“Look, we’ve gone from Virginia is for Lovers to Delaware being the Don’t Even Touch Yourself state in one simple election cycle,” Juanita grins.  “I mean, what else do they have in store for us?  If that doesn’t get you up in the morning to check the news, then you’ve got a slip in your differential.  Watching them play basketball in a mine field is gonna be such fun!”

“And watching them witch-slap each other is like recess in heaven!”

The Republican nominee for the Delaware Senate seat fired back at Karl Rove today for what she called “un-factual” accusations about her record.

“Everything that he is saying is un-factual. And it’s a shame because he is the same so-called political guru that predicted I wasn’t going to win. And we won and we won big,” Christine O’Donnell told me this morning. “So I think, again, he is eating some humble pie and he is just trying to restore his reputation.”

“Oh Lord, now they’re making up words!  Un-factual.  Very cool word.  Beats the heck outta lie, fib, or eat poop and die.  I mean, Hon, there are saloons in Texas where knife fights start over things like, ‘Thelma, you are being unfactual about your relationship with Billy Bob.'”

“And don’t forget this startling revelation,” she continues.

Despite her decisive win – the Republican Party has said that it will not spend any money to help her Senate bid, Jon Karl reported this morning.

O’Donnell called that “a shame.”

“Republicans found another excuse not to part with their money?  You mean, Scrooge McDuck can count another day?  How …. uh, typical.”

Juanita is whistling this morning.  I haven’t seen her this happy since Elvis died.

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Okay, heads-up.  Governor Rick Perry has made the finals!

Go on over and vote again because Texas should be #1 in something other than crappy government.

I want to thank The Other Susan for keeping me on the ball about this.  She’s reminds me every time I need to vote.