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I think most of you have figured out by now that Juanita has an exceptionally bad opinion of Texas Governor Rick Perry.

And that Juanita is not one to sugar coat her opinions.

In fact, she’s getting some yardsigns and she’s pretty darn sure that they are going to look like this one.

If you want one, start saving your money because these suckers are going to be collector’s items.

The latest thing that set-off Juanita is that Rick Perry is still the biggest coward in long pants.  Rick Perry still refuses to debate Bill White.

Perry says he will not appear on a stage with White until the former Houston mayor releases income tax returns from the 1990s covering his years as a deputy at the U.S. Department of Energy and as chairman of the Texas Democratic Party. This is nothing more than an excuse by Perry to avoid having to debate his opponents.

“Rick Perry is also waiting for Bill White to dance on the head of a pin, clap for Tinkerbell, scale the San Jacinto monument barehanded, teach the Houston Astros to hit, agree to change the name of enchiladas to something more American-sounding,  and …. and this is the most important …. quit using all them big words,” Juanita grins.

“But to make matters even more goofy, it appears that Rick Perry is holding Bill White to a standard that Perry ain’t introduced hisownself to,” she continues.

Perry has released his tax returns going back to 1987, which is a good record of disclosure. But even that record doesn’t cover his first term in the Texas Legislature, to which he won his first race for a House seat in 1984. Perry is trying to hold White to a standard he doesn’t meet himself.

“Plus, the cherry on top is that back in the primary Rick Perry also refused to meet with the editorial board of the major newspaper across Texas.  That was probably because they haven’t scaled the San Jacinto monument barehanded either,” she supposes.

“If I were Bill White’s campaign manager, which I ain’t for reasons that nobody can seem to figure out,” she smiles, “I’d announce that we ain’t debating Rick Perry until he does something that that bad breath and real prissy Food and Wine Magazine subscription.”

“And then Rick Perry needs to admit that he ain’t debating anyone who understands stuff.”

“That, my friends, is the bottom line,” Juanita says.  “But, it ain’t the last you’re gonna hear from me about Rick Perry.”

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My friend Larry Toenjes has made the definitive statement about Texas Governorchicken Rick Perry refusing to debate Bill White.

I swear that Moses Rose had more guts than Rick Perry.

Thank you, Larry, for a picture worth more than a thousand words.

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Juanita was delighted to see that the kids over at Talking Points Memo enrolled in Glen Beck University so she wouldn’t have to.  It appears that Glen is going to take your $9.95 monthly fee but only have guest lecturers.  Glen, who is unburdened by any sort of hoity-toity university useless education, will be handing out diplomas worth less than the cost of anything else you can find in a  dumpster.

Juanita, however, is waiting for the big time.

“Being a honors graduate of Miss Marlene’s Elite School of Beauty, which required a thesis on the historic use of blue eye shadow, I was thinking of forming my own university.  I am going to offer degrees in Rocket Science, Brain Surgery, and Carpet Cleaning,” Juanita announces, “which all seem like very useful areas of expertise.”

“I don’t want to brag but County Judge Bob Hebert has already signed up and sent in his first tuition check.  He’s signed up to be a brain surgeon this time, which should probably take about six weeks if he promises to limit his practice to the fellas on commissioner’s court.”

“Thank goodness, Glenn’s courses are not prerequisites for any of my courses.”

Verdelia piped in as Juanita was explaining her course outline for rocket science, “No offense, Juanita, but I think I’ll wait for the Sarah Palin University of Making a Mint Off Being Dumb.”

“Rats!” Juanita stomped.  “I was afraid of that!”

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My friend Jerome Murphy has a take on the Republican Party of Texas generously financing the Green Party’s effort to get on the ballot.

Jerome is the Official Cartoonist of The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.  He’s plenty proud of that, as well he should be.

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This is local stuff, but the same damn thing is probably happening in your county.

For years, our Republican-run county government has been spending money like drunken sailors.  They have an edifice complex.  They love the sounds of a bulldozer, so they have built buildings we don’t need and/or are out-of-date before they even open, like the Taj MaLaw they’re building now.

They have hired all their buddies and spent more on ‘consultants’ than it costs to land on Boardwalk with three hotels.

To raise money for this massive spending without raising taxes, they simply got their friends elected to the Central Appraisal District and upped our home evaluations far beyond the true market value.  That way, they could say, “Lookie here, we haven’t raised your taxes and your house is worth more.  We Republicans are wonderful!”

“Well,” begins Juanita Jean Herownself, “this Ponzi scheme just fell apart like a five dollar suitcase in a bus station.”

Fort Bend County officials are worried that lawsuits filed against the county’s central appraisal district by property owners may negatively affect the county budget being put together.

“These legal battles could result in millions of dollars being paid back to taxpayers who were scammed over the past years by falsely inflating their property value,” Juanita says.

“Because of these lawsuits’ potential victories at trials, there is a strong possibility that the county will have to pay back money to property owners,” he said. “That will take away from the county revenue.”

Morrison said he believes the county may have to cut checks “in the millions” of dollars.

“Now, this wouldn’t be so bad except that our Republican county officials have already budgeted and spent that exact same millions of dollars,” Juanita continues, “so their position is that we should just accept that we got screwed and give them the money.”

“Am I upset about this?  Does a cat have climbing gear?”

The Fabulously wealthy Bob and Andy

“But, genius never sleeps, so I, of course, have a solution to this mess,” she proclaims.  “Our county judge, Bob Hebert, ran on the platform that we could trust him because he was – and these are his words – ‘independently wealthy’, so we could trust him with our money and he would never steal from us because he was fabulously rich!  Republican county commissioner Andy Meyers claimed that he was a financial expert, so I suspect he’s invested his own money well, and ours … not so much.”

“My suggestion is that both Andy and Bob refund their salaries to the taxpayers they’ve been screwing all these years.”

“THAT, my friends,” she grins, “is the market correcting itself.”