From Texas’ own Ben Sargent —-

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Verdelia came in with a scientific fact this morning before getting her wash-n-set from Thelma.

“Honey,” Verdelia began, “do you know why Fox news watchers always travel in groups of three?”

“No ma’am, I’ve never really figured that out.”

“Because the first one can read.  The second one can write.  And the third one keeps an eye on those other two intellectuals.”

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We might be in big trouble in Fort Bend County.  Somebody has hauled hell out of it’s shuck.

It seems that some nuts on Iowa have put up a sign that has drawn some attention.

They probably got this idea from our nutty county commissioner, Andy Meyers.  Andy put up these signs right here in Fort Bend County —

“And as soon as Andy can learn to hold three thoughts in his head at the same time, he’ll probably get some of them Iowa signs,” Juanita observes.

No doubt about it.

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Y’all, Juanita saw this headline this morning —

Trailer Filled With Puppets Stolen

and commented, “Oh dear, somebody made off with every county commissioner in Texas.”

I hope they find them because it would be horribly expensive for developers to have to buy new ones.

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“This is exactly why Sweet Jesus threw the moneychangers out of the temple,” Juanita announces.  “Lookie here.”

“Here’s the deal,” she continues, “Anybody see anything wrong with the vice chairman of a Swiss bank implicated in a major tax evasion criminal investigation raising money for a 501(c)(4) that will spend it to elect members of Congress this fall without disclosing its donors?”

“Well,  Phil Gramm is the “Swiss” banker, otherwise known as the unindicted vice chairman of UBS,”  she explains.

“And here’s how it works,” she continues.

To jumpstart fundraising, the pro-Republican American Crossroads 527 group is reaching out to powerful politicos such as ex-Sen. Phil Gramm of Texas and aggressively using a new money-collecting entity that can give donors more privacy.

Lackluster fundraising in April and May pulled in only a total of roughly $1.25 million, prompting American Crossroads to recently set up a 501(c)(4) nonprofit arm that is also allowed to get involved in political campaigns, but is less transparent in reporting requirements. Deploying both entities, American Crossroads raised about $8.5 million in June, says Steven Law, the group’s president. Politico first reported the $8.5 million total and some details about the new 501(c)(4)

“And Crossroads has some high falutin’ plans in the works.  They are ‘trying to corral more than $50 million this year to run television ads and conduct get out the vote drives to boost the fortunes of a few dozen GOP Senate and House candidates in November.'”

A recent portrait of Phil Gramm

“Thank you, Phil Gramm, for your help in securing American democracy with open and honest government,” she says and then adds, “Sarcasm is just another of our friendly free public services.”

“So, the plan is to raise money from unidentified sources to elect Republicans.  As far as we know, this money will come from international drug cartels, the Illuminati, Osama bin Laden, and the Boys from Brazil.  If you would help us get this word out, we would appreciate it,” Juanita winks.

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Regulars here know that there is a local connection to the Hannah Giles and James O’Keefe fiasco at ACORN.

Terese Raia: Pornography Expert

Hannah is the granddaughter of Terese Raia, Fort Bend’s modern day  answer to Carrie Nation.  Except that instead of alcohol, Ms. Raia is concerned with s-e-x.  She’s against it.  Totally.  Especially if it’s fun.  No, wait, even if it’s not fun, she’s against it.  Ms. Raia is a member of the State Republican Executive Committee and pulls some mighty weight in Christian Coalition Republican circles. And even though she lives in a swanky house and drives a super swanky car, she is well-known for being stingy.

So, hoots and hollers of laughter broke out at the Beauty Salon this afternoon when it was discovered that Hannah is being sued. For money.

In February, Hannah Giles admitted that the flamboyant pimp and prostitutes costumes in which she and O’Keefe were seen in some of the videos were never worn inside ACORN offices, contrary to most news reports. “In truth, O’Keefe represented himself to low-level ACORN workers as the college law school boyfriend of Giles, desperately trying to save her from the house of an abusive pimp who she believed would kill her,”

But, that was not the story that Hannah swore was the truth.

The Demure and Modest Miss Hannah

The demure and lovely Hannah was blessed with a Grandmother with influence so she was even recognized in the United States Congress by none other than Congressman Pete Olson.

Rep. Pete Olson today introduced a resolution in honor of Hannah Giles and James O’Keefe III for their diligent investigative journalism exposing the fraudulent and potentially illegal activities of the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now or ACORN.

“Oh bless his heart,” Juanita commented.  “It’ll take months to scrub all the egg off his face.”

“Hannah has learned a valuable lesson early in her life:  if somebody wants you to pretend to be a hooker, you’re gonna end up losing money on the deal.  It’s that simple.  Also, pull up your pants, girl.  You look like a floozy.”

I am certain that her grandmother is still very proud of her.  She just doesn’t mention it much anymore.  And that’s the problem with being haughty.  The bigger they are, the louder splat they make when they fall.