.

I apologize.  This is the third day of this.  Lord, it’s Noah’s flood.

.

Juanita has a little crush on Florida Demcoratic Congressman Alan Grayson.

“He’s everything good about being a Democrat,” she says.

“Grayson, like a few others I know, got elected accidentally in a conservative district.  But, unlike a few others I know, he didn’t sell out his principles and his supporters to try to get re-elected by becoming a lap dog to big oil, and donating $375 million in tax money for deep water drilling research.  Nick Lampson used $375 million of your dollars to buy their support for himself.  He is such a jerk.”

“Lampson never understood that if you go to bed with conservatives, they’ll screw you for sure, but they won’t ever respect you in the morning.  Lampson got in bed with them, they used him up and then they tossed him out with the garbage,” she shakes her head remembering.  “And, by the way, if he says I ever asked him for money, he’s a lying sack of festering feathers and I can prove it.”

“But, let’s get back to seeing how it’s done right,” she continues.  “Alan Grayson got accidentally elected, too.  And that’s where the similarity ends.  Grayson stood tall in the saddle instead of ducking behind the barn.   Instead of becoming a lap dog, he started explaining his progressive ideas to the voters, and …. they are coming to his side.”

“There’s a damn good chance that he’s going to be re-elected,” she grins.

“And meanwhile, he’s still doing good stuff.  Go sign his petition to end the wars and save America.  Hell, it’s a rainy Friday – do something that’ll make you feel good.”

.

First a leprechaun..

FRUITA, Colo. – If a Western Slope woman is to be believed, vampires may be lurking in Colorado’s Grand Valley.

The woman claims she spotted a vampire in the middle of a dirt road near Fruita, Colo. Sunday night. She told Colorado State Troopers she was startled by the undead being, threw her SUV into reverse, and crashed into a canal.

She was not injured.

State Troopers say the woman’s husband arrived at the scene and took her home. The vampire, which was not seen by anyone else, apparently let her get away.

Troopers do not suspect drugs or alcohol to be factors in the crash.

Must have been the garlic.

.

“So, here’s the deal,” Juanita starts this morning.  “Anadarko owns 25% of BP’s Horizon rig.  So, BP sent Anadarko a bill for their share of the clean up.  The bill was for $272 million dollars.”

An actual image from Anadarko's website

“Anadarko, not one to be a pushover, responded with a loud groan and some cuss words.  Anadarko, it seems, says that everything was BP’s fault.”

“BP, on the other hand, says that ‘fault’ is such a harsh word,” Juanita grins.

“So, here ya got Darth Vader fighting Lex Luther.  It’s hard to know who to root for.  Personally, I’m going with giving them both a chainsaw.”

“I imagine that by this point, their lawyers have lawyers and they’re throwing paper at each other like spears,” Juanita suspects.  “Hell, let’s give them real spears and get some entertainment value.”

.

Dear Juanita,

I just never put it together… unregulated industry, no labor laws, “targeting” political opponents who want a strong federal government, and lots and lots of guns — is that the Texas Republican Party or the Sinaloa Cartel?

I had some fun with that this morning.

Richard Grabman

Enjoy!