.

Although Juanita protests that Liberals are good at shooting themsleves in the foot, conservatives  have about the same aim.

With tomorrow’s Nevada primary coming up, it’s worth looking back on the many gaffes and errors of former state GOP chair Sue Lowden, whose once-mighty Senate campaign has fallen behind Tea Party favorite Sharron Angle. Simply put, the chickens have come home to roost for what may be one of the worst-run Senate primary campaigns of this cycle.

Lowden shot to national fame in April, when she was caught on tape telling people to barter with their doctors in order to lower health care costs.

“Yeah, they even went so far as to ban people in chicken suits from the polls, which I still think is unconstitutional,” Juanita says.

Lowden is now running 10 points behind the field.

So, the Teabagger candidate will win another GOP primary and then get their limp soggy bags handed to them in November,” Juanita grins.

“And chicken’s awaiting their fate as currency at the doctor’s office are breathing a lot easier today.”

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“Okay, so I’m a liberal,” Juanita starts this Monday morning as she pours her coffee and adjusts her glasses on top of her head.  She really doesn’t need glasses, but if you had a pair of pink rhinestone glasses, you’d wear them, too.

“But, it continues to bother me why liberals, who aren’t even ideologically supposed to have guns, keep shooting themselves in the foot.”

She speaks of this news article she’s put on the snack room door for reading —

GOP Consultant in Arizona Pulls Strings to Get Green Party on Texas Ballot

AUSTIN – The liberal Green Party’s uphill battle to get on the Texas ballot this fall has been fueled by a surprising benefactor: an out-of-state Republican consultant with a history of helping conservative causes and GOP candidates.

If the state validates the petitions the consultant arranged for the party – for free – a Green Party slate could drain support from Democrat Bill White in his bid to oust Republican Gov. Rick Perry.

What’s unknown is who paid for the previously undisclosed arrangement, pieced together by The Dallas Morning News. Green Party officials said they don’t know who funded the effort. The Perry campaign denied any involvement. And Arizona Republican operative Tim Mooney, who set up the petition drive, refused to say.

“Ya know, we liberals are the only people on the planet who would welcome a Trojan horse into our sunrooms and offer it an arugula and edamame sandwich,” she shakes her head, dislodging her glasses and setting them on her work station.

“Good Lord, please explain to me how liberals will benefit with 4 more years of Rick Perry?  No, no, better yet, explain to me how anybody benefits from 4 more years of Rick Perry, except for Rick Perry and big insurance.”

“Lookie here, Bill White is not near as liberal as I want him to be.  He’s not even in the liberal zip code.  I admit that.  However, he’s better than Rick Perry every minute of the day,” she gets agreement nods from everyone in the room, except Thelma, who thinks Rick Perry just might be Jesus in a cowboy hat, fringe vest, and prissy pants.

“I may be a liberal sell out, but I am not a tool of an Arizona Republican,” she stomps, “Arizona!  Can you believe that?”

“So the first time a liberal looks down their nose at me, I’m gonna suggest that from now on, they need to stop shotting themselves in the foot with a gun and start hitting themsleves in the head with a hammer because they are tools, dammit.”

She means it.  She doesn’t take off her glasses unless she means it.

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“I suspect that Barack Obama has been taken off BP’s Christmas card list,” Juanita laughs.

“I don’t have a problem with BP fulfilling its legal obligations,” Obama said. “What I don’t want to hear is when they’re spending that kind of money on their shareholders and spending that kind of money on TV advertising that they’re nickel and diming fishermen or small businesses here in the Gulf who are having a hard time.”

The President said that government officials were making sure that claims were processed correctly, and “that BP is not lawyering up, essentially, when it comes to these claims.”

“Lawyering up is exactly what they are planning to do.  That’s why they want all the lawsuits over this filed in Texas courts.  Texas, who is not getting any of this sludge on our beaches, is BP’s first choice for the lawsuits because Texas just dead solid perfect flat out kiss on the mouth loves big bidness.  Hell, Hon, we sacrifice one moderate judge a year to The Big Bidness Gods.  We have a big ceremony and everything.”

“My bet?  They will lawyer-up, a dozen guys will get obscenely rich, everyone else will get obscenely screwed, they will go out of business, and re-open a month later with a clean slate and a dirty record.  That’s my bet.”

Mississippi MENSA Meeting

“And, as icing on the cake, Republican Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour will pronounce that justice was done and Jesus loves you,” Juanita says.  “Because you cannot trust your lying eyes.”

Haley Barbour is one of Juanita’s least favorite people.  “He’s a creepy guy who you just know sits around in his underpants, eating Fritoes, and hollering at the teevee,” she suspects.  “I’d be willing to bet my best pair of pink boots on it.”

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One of Juanita’s customers brought in this picture today.

You can click it to make it bigger.   Yeah, it’s a BP station.

Y’all know Juanita’s nemesis, E V Blissard, an old coot who lives north of Houston and feels the need to use bandwidth to lie, lie, lie.

Here’s the latest the rightwing braindead are sending around.  This came from EV this morning.

The Crotch Salute Returns

IT FIGURES
At the Ft. Hood Memorial Service TODAY…

I’m sorry folks, but is this the turkey that was elected President of our country?  You know, the United States of America ?  I do believe that saluting the flag goes with that, and also to honor the servicemen who died, or is he above that?  He sure as hell knows how to bow to our enemies.  Shower us all with flowery words and dazzle us with B.S. , but actions speak louder.  May it only last 4 years and may our country survive it.

E V and his kin are idiots.

“First off, it’s pretty damn obvious that’s not Fort Hood in the background there,” Juanita suggests.  “And second off, a simple internet search shows that this was at the capital and they were playing Hail to the Chief.  The President does not salute himself.  Unless he’s George Bush and then he salutes Dick Cheney.”

“Now, I don’t expect you to take my word for it, ‘cuz I’m just one of them socialist nazi fascists apologist for Muslims and people not born in Hawaii.  So, here’s a movie.”

“Yep.  Old farts sitting at their computer are made fools of again,” Juanita giggles.  “Somebody, for gosh sake anybody, remove this man from the computer before his brain melts.”

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You’ve seen him on Countdown with Keith Olberman, now read the words of my much admired friend from Houston, El Jefe Bob – Bob Cavnar – about the BP “accident.”

Bob is a blogger and an oil company executive.

As I watch BP struggle with this monster, saying every day that “this has never been done before,” I get more and more furious at BP, my industry, and myself.  It’s time to stop.  Putting aside the crippling political issues of having no comprehensive energy policy and our country’s dangerous dependence on foreign oil, we need to stop thinking about our wallets and start cleaning up our own house.  It’s time for the industry to get on the right side of reform and improvements, not taking our usual negative positions, weilding our army of lobbyists, having to be dragged by the hair to do the right thing.

Or, perhaps we really have reached the level of our incompetence; I, for one, am fed up.

I grew up in the oil patch, the daughter of an oilman.  Bob tells a great story about those days.  Treat yourself and go read it this weekend.