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Remember back when our Super DeLux Brand Christian Texas State Board of Education (which is better known as The Bored of Education), wanted to take Thomas Jefferson out of our children’s textbooks and replace him with Thomas Kincade?

“Well, see, here’s the problem with that,” Juanita read aloud this morning.

Authorities say California artist Thomas Kinkade spent a night in jail after being arrested on suspicion of drunken driving.

California Highway Patrol officials said Monday that Kinkade was pulled over outside Carmel and arrested by a CHP officer just after 10 p.m. Friday

“Being a painter of light surely has its burdens,” Juanita suspects. “But we in Texas deeply appreciate him taking time from his splattered schedule to make our School Board look even less trustworthy than it already does.”

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Juanita’s friend Kevin visited the beautiful Texas Hill County this weekend and sent her a genuine snapshot of the Kerrville GOP HQ.

“We always knew they were carrying water for corporate America, so maybe the jugs makes the job easier,” Juanita smiles.

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Juanita did not go to the Republican convention in Dallas this weekend.

Mainly because of hats like this.

“They say it’s supposed to be an elephant,” Juanita reports.  “But the term peckerhead comes to mind.”  (Sorry, Momma, but there’s no way to say that without being coarse.  Phallichead just doesn’t cut it.)

You know how we have an international symbol for bathroom or right turns?  This hat is the official international symbol for Rick Perry.

Visit The Texas Tribune for more fun, games, and pictures.

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Are you telling em that a bunch of grumpy ole white guys are fighting among themselves?

I’m shocked, just shocked.

In Virginia, tea partiers vented on blogs and to reporters about the movement’s inability to coalesce around a single, strong candidate in two House races, resulting in the nomination of establishment candidates instead.

The polls hadn’t even closed Tuesday when “tea party” activists in Nevada started sniping at one another over whether Sharron Angle, the soon-to-be Republican nominee for U.S. Senate, was the best candidate to bring down Senate Majority Leader Harry M. Reid.

“So, you’ve got a bunch of hateful, greedy, disagreeable people you’re trying to make do something positive?  How’s that lovey dovey thing working out for ya?”

Juanita suspect that the problem is that the entire teabagger movement is something made up by old women to get old men out of the house.

She might be right.

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According to Harvey Kronberg, Texas Governor Rick Perry had himself another prissy day at the Republican State Convention —

A visibly amped up Gov. Rick Perry finished up his appearances at the Republican Party of Texas convention with a broadside this afternoon on his Democratic opponent and something like a declaration of war against “liberals … blinded by their intellectual elitism”

“Uh, ‘intellectual elitism’ is teabag-speak for ‘we graduated high school’,” Juanita interpreted.  “Yep, those shiny seals on our high school diplomas just blind some of us.  Others are blinded by reading in low light conditions while hiding out with books.”

“I suspect we’re exposed now that they realized that intellect has a liberal bias.”

No, ya’ll he really said that.  The Governor of Texas came out squarely against intellectual pursuits.  They’ll be banning crossword puzzles next week and PBS is next.