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The Republican Party of Texas is fighting with itself.

According to Harvey Kronberg at The Quorum Report (subscription only), a State Republican Executive Committee Member thinks there’s hanky-panky going on with the money.

There has long been suspicion among some State Republican Executive Committee members that they were not getting the complete story about the Republican Party of Texas finances or its contracts with various entities.  Some suspected sweetheart deals.

The Party has a debt and has had some difficulty in attracting the large donors that it once relied upon.  In addition, questions have been in the air for a while about the cost-benefit analysis of Party fundraising contracts.

Today, SREC member Mark McCaig filed an Open Records Request on the Party in an effort to get it to open its books and reveal the particulars of its business.

“You know how the Republicans are about money,” Juanita says.  “They genuflect walking into a bank.”

“They are so tight that if they smile, their toes curl,” Thelma begins. “The only thing they ever donate to charity is the sleeves off their vest.  They’d skin a flea for the tallow.  There’s no eggs in their cornbread.  They ….”

“We get it, Thelma,” everyone says in unison.

“So, if they’re gonna pick a fight with each other, it’s not going to be about an issue or something that matters to leading the State of Texas.  No, siree.  Those sons of motherless goats are fighting about money,” Juanita says.

“They are accusing each other of being thieves.  Hell, we could have told them that!”

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Ya think maybe God is trying to tell us something?

That’s San Antonio.  It’s an oil refinery.  Nobody killed but there are some serious injuries.

And then I heard that they’re gonna do a “controlled burn” of the oil slushing around in the Gulf of Mexico.  “A controlled burn of gas on water?  Ain’t that like trying to control a teenager?” Juanita asks.  “I’d rather sit on a powder keg smoking a two-bit cigar.”

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We’d like to give a big ole thanks to Zen T.C. Zheng over at the Houston Chronicle for giving everybody the heads-up that the back-up materials for our county commissioner’s court will now be posted online for everyone to see.

Back in the old days when I was a reporter, the boys on commissioner’s court used to sneak notes in my packet.  Some were funny – like the first time commissioners heard about xeroxing your beehind and couldn’t wait for me to see it – and some were hot tips.  The beehinds were not hot.  The tips generally were.

So now everybody can be a reporter simply by clicking here.  Yeah, they are having some technical difficulties right now but it’s a good link to hold on to.

Thanks, Zen, for the heads-up.  You might remind them that they get the packet ahead of time, so it’s no big deal to let you and the public see it ahead of time, too.

o

Saying he got “bored” during the abortion debate, Republican State Senator Mike Bennett started looking at nakkid ladies on his state issued computer.

They got pictures of it.

“Dude,” Juanita says, “I’m bored at the abortion debate, too.  It’s the law of the land.  Move on.”

Bennett says he was looking a an email sent to him by a woman “who just happens to be a former court administrator.”

“Oh, so that’s what they’re calling them in Florida now,” Juanita smiles.

“He’s a Baptist, of course.”

o

A billboard seen in Marshall, Texas, yesterday —

Juanita says she’s sorry but after 8 years of George W Bush, she is flat fresh out of embarrassment.  “Used it all up,” she explains.

And, quite obviously, someone else is embarrassed because the person who bought this sign only put their initials, not their full name.  Juanita says that’s understandable.  “You would not want people to know that you spent perfectly good cash American money on something that stinkin’ ignorant when you could have bought these —

— probably for half the money.”

o

Texas Governor Rick Perry thinks God really has it out for BP.

“My Governor announced that the oil spill might be an act of God.  I know you don’t believe that,” Juanita reports, “so I will give you proof of a level of ignorant and crazzzy that doesn’t even have a name in psychiatry yet.”

Perry questioned whether the spill was “just an act of God that occurred” and said that any “politically driven” decisions could put the U.S. in further economic peril.

“From time to time there are going to be things that occur that are acts of God that cannot be prevented,” Perry said.

Oh no, he didn’t say that,” Verdelia replies.  “God would strike him dead on the spot for talk like that.”

“Apparently not, Honey,” Juanita comforted.

The women at the salon were wondering if the BP explosion in Texas City was also an act of God.  If so, God really has it in for BP.

And we are also wondering why God didn’t act when a coyote was trying to scare the pee outta Governor Perry.

The re-election of Rick Perry is obviously not an act of God because, dammit, that can be prevented.