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For you folks from foreign states, our local elections were yesterday.
Remember the deal with Crazy Chris Calvin and the city council candidate he was spreading lies about, Danny Nguyen? Nguyen: 2,776 votes; Calvin’s candidate: 697. Lesson learned: Pay Calvin to endorse your opponent.
And Cynthia Lenton Gary of the wacky mailbox fame? She got beat by 15 percentage points. Lesson learned: do not mess with the United States Postal Service or Juanita Jean.
Happy Mother’s Day!
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The bad news is that Crazy Senator Joe Lieberman is growing crazier by the minute.
Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-CT) captured big headlines, and interesting supporters, when he proposed the Terrorist Expatriation Act, which would amend current law to allow the State Department to revoke the citizenship of Americans they deem to be members of foreign terrorist organizations.
The good news is that everybody except Scott Brown thought it was nuts. “Hellfire, even John Boehner thought it was crazy,” Juanita observes. “Glenn Beck had second thoughts, too, because his first ones are usually a little twisted.”
“When you are more rightwing than John Boehner and Glenn Beck, there’s something wrong with your GPS system,” Juanita announces. “He needs to tweek that sucker before he ends up in Italy.”
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Juanita wants to know, “What happened to the good ole days when old white guys went to Florida and played shuffleboard?”
Right-wing extremists who question the legitimacy of Barack Obama’s presidency tried to take on local law enforcement recently — and they seem to have come out on the losing end.
First, a Tennessee man was arrested after walking into his local county courthouse to try to effect a citizen’s arrest of a grand jury foreman who had refused to investigate President Obama’s legitimacy to serve — an encounter partially caught on video. That enraged one Georgia-based member of the far-right OathKeepers group. Responding to a call from an extremist leader, he drove to Tennessee with an AK-47 in a bid to get his comrade released — only to wind up getting arrested himself.
“The last damn thing this country needs is a bunch of cranky old white guys running around with AK-47’s. They need to sit on their front porch and throw rocks at little kids who come in their yards. The next time I see one of these guys doing his so-called ‘protecting America’ thing, I’m gonna sneak up behind him and tell him that all the neighborhood kids are in his yard.”
“Plus, they don’t need to be talking about the Founding Fathers. Thomas Jefferson was 33 years old when he wrote the Declaration of Independence, and King George III was 38. So, you old guys need to go home. Join a bowling league. And get your pant down from under your armpits – you look silly.”
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After about a gillion emails from folks who could not believe that I hadn’t commented about George Rekers and his Rent-A-Boy, I decided to say this —
(If you click on it, you can get an easier one to see.)
the big one.
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This is about local stuff but it’s pretty funny.
We have a guy around here who has literally been banned from living in certain neighborhoods because he has been adjudicated to be a jerk. In a court of law. That’s hard to do in Texas because we specialize in jerks.
His name is Chris Calvin and he’s a nincompoop. He’s like a three year old with fingerpaints. He makes a helluva mess and ruckus but the final product ain’t considered art.
Juanita banned him from commenting here because he broke all the rules within the first two hours of the beauty salon opening. Calvin still continues to comment – sometime 5 or 6 times a day, all under different names – but Juanita has them sent directly to her lawyer just in case he does step over the “Oh No You Didn’t” line. Juanita doesn’t even read his comments because they once melted her favorite pair of cat eye rhinestone reading glasses.
“He’s like those guys who do dreadful things and then people see the stuff he’d done before he did the dreadful thing and everybody asks why somebody didn’t intervene because it was obviously that he was headed for dreadful like double geared lightening,” Juanita explains.
Chris Calvin is the King of Sockpuppetry. He has several websites, all anonymous, and has used at least 50 different names to try to comment here. His scam is to write a comment and then write 20 comments with make-up names and made-up email addresses, all agreeing with the first comment. “Hell,” Juanita says, “I don’t even agree with myself 20 times in a row. Give me a couple of minutes and I’ll change my mind twice.”
Anyway, the reason that this Chris Calvin thing suddenly became fun is that he lives in the underworld, never using his real name or coming out in public. He scampers around in the dark, like a cockroach, contaminating the good stuff.
Until now.
Glamorous newspaper publisher Bev Carter caught the guy stealing yardsigns and spreading lies. Well, truth be know, she got a neighbor to take a picture of him doing it. You’ll enjoy reading about it.
Calvin is all prissy about a city election – in a city where he doesn’t live.
So, if you read anonymous comments on any blog or beauty salon about Fort Bend County, except this one or Hal’s, just assume it’s Crazy Chris Calvin talking to himself, because it probably is.
It’s nice to catch a snake. Job well done, Bev.
