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It’s gotta be tough.  Getting caught, trial, prison, losing your knighthood —

Antigua’s Governor General Dame Louise Lake-Tack has signed the order revoking the knighthood of alleged fraudster R. Allen Stanford.

Attorney General Justin Simon confirmed the move, adding that notice of the revocation would be forwarded to Stanford next week. He explained that this must be done since the law prescribes that Stanford must return the insignia.

Not the insignia.  Anything but the insignia.

“So, I guess fraudster isn’t a knightable talent now days.  Perhaps fruadmiester or fraudarino are available,” Juanita suggests.

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Happy Easter to my Peeps —

And remember:  Sweet Jesus arose from the dead to get his Mazda and a big screen teevee.

Easter at a megachurch in Corpus Christi, Texas, will look like the popular TV game show “The Price Is Right.”

Sixteen cars, 15 flat-screen televisions, furniture sets and other prizes are lined up at Bay Area Fellowship Church and ready to be claimed by anyone who attends the church’s Easter services on Sunday.

“They’re coming for the loot and they’re going to leave with Jesus,” [Pastor] Cornelius said.

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Juanita would like to take this time to remind you that she said that the Supreme Court decision on corporate donations to political campaigns would come to no good.

“No damn good were my exact words,” she reminds us.

If Juanita says it’s Christmas, you better go buy some little twinkling lights.  She’s rarely wrong.

As seen in Sealey, Texas, today —-

So, now Sweet Jesus has incorporated and can donate to political campaigns.

“I thought I had proof that it had already started when I saw this yard sign sign several times around Bellville, Texas,” she says with fear in her voice.

“But then, I looked up that verse.  First of all, it’s in the Old Testament, which doesn’t have diddle squat to do with Sweet Jesus,” she says with relief.

“Second of all, I was seen all over the deepest red part of Texas,” she warns, “so I suspected it said something about ‘when the dark man cometh to reign over the lands ….’  or something like that, but, shockingly, it didn’t.  It says —-”

if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

“Now, I am not sure what exactly unhumble wicked ways they are talking about.  In my mind, that’s Dick Cheney.  And God knows we’ve got a heap o’ healing to do after Dick finished with us.  Have you ever seen Dick Cheney pray?  He talks to himself,” she says with personal knowledge.

Verdelia wants to know, “If ‘Jesus Christ, Inc’ is the answer, what the heck was the question?”

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Bubba X admits that every time the 6:00 news headlines a murder or a rape, he secretly, in the back of his head, prays “Oh dear God, please don’t let it be a black guy who’s done it.”

Bubba X knows what it’s like to be black and to be stereotyped.

Juanita feels the same way about her beloved Texas.  “Every single time a congressvarmint say something gosh-awful, I pray, ‘Dear God, let them be from South Carolina.’  And, sometimes, that works,” she says with only a slight nervous grin.

But, not this time.

You know that Guardians of the Free Republics group sending oddball letters to the Governors?

Yep.

The man at the center of the Guardians of the free Republics is Texas talk-show host Sam Kennedy – and he’s already gotten a Texas radio station in hot water as law enforcement reacted rapidly to what has been construed as a direct threat to all 50 US governors.

Mr. Kennedy “is the focal point of this, these guardians. He was in the mix in setting this whole thing up, and he’s up to his eyeballs in this Restore America project,” says John Stadtmiller, who runs Republic Broadcasting Network based in Round Rock, Texas, which broadcasts Kennedy’s weekly “Take No Prisoners” show. Restore America project, as articulated on the Guardians of the free Republics website, is part screed, part call to action to depose an illegitimate government in favor of restoring the people’s “common law.”

The website describes it as “a war college restoration strategy for regaining control [of government in the states] quietly, efficiently and quickly without provoking controversy, ridicule, violence or civil war.” It purports to have military backing for a takeover.

Juanita admits to be a radio fan.  She owns more radios than most sane people can count and listens to shortwave for fun.  “I’ve had to cut back on listening,” she says, “because it’s gotten so full of cussidness that I end up with a mouthful of my own heart before I can turn it off.  Their favorite tune is El Deguello and they have freon instead of blood in their veins.”

“And now that we find there’s a Texas connection to this group, I’m sad.  And it ain’t from way out there in West Texas where the sun knocks a brick out of the fireplace every time it goes down.  Nope, it’s in beautiful Round Rock, in the heart of the Texas Hill Country, next door to Austin, the most liberal part of Texas.  Honey, I don’t even want to think about what’s going on in the Piney Woods where the conservatives are.”

“I’ve read some of the stuff this crazy Texas man is doing.  If loco was dirt, he’d be about 20 acres.”

God bless Texas.  We’re needing it about now.

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Okay, so you’re not going to believe this, but Juanita can prove it.

You remember Randy Neugebauer, of the Texas Desert Yachting Club fame, and hollering Baby Killer fame, and exploiting Liberty fame?

Well, he wants to be s-e-x-y.

And he is willing to pay for it.  He’s willing to pay even more than the RNC did at a kinky club in Los Angeles.  That’s pretty desperate.

In his latest filing with the FEC, Randy fesses up to hiring Talent Revolution of Brookville, Ohio.  He paid them $2,146.03 genuine cash American money from his lobbyist built campaign account for “Strategic Campaign Consulting.”

And what, you may ask, is Talent Revolution and what are they revolving about?

From their website —

Amanda Hite, CEO and Founder of Talent Revolution, Inc, is a Change Agent who’s bringing sexy back to corporate thinking and people performance.

“Honey, Honey, Randy Neugebauer sexy.  Nope.  Not happening.  Hopeless.  I’m pretty damn sure about this.”  Juanita tells everyone.

“However,” she adds with a grin, “it might be worth every penny of that money for the good Southern Baptist folks in Lubbock and Abilene  to find out that Randy’s new guru can be reached on twitter at http://twitter.com/sexythinker ”

“I’m afraid to look,” she admits.  “I’ve seen this sexy change agent moonchild and while I am not an expert of what constitute sexy in Brookville, Ohio, it certainly has lowered the bar in every honky tonk in Texas.”

“Now, I’m not saying that she told him to holler “Baby Killer” at the top of his lungs in the United States Congress because that would be …. oh, I dunno, real sexy,” Juanita says, “but it certainly falls under the ‘people performance’ she brags about.”

Randy Neugebauer:  Soon To Be Sexy!

See, I told you that you wouldn’t believe it.  But, remember, you saw it here first!  I’m good at this stuff.

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