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With House Republicans focused on what two-word phrases they could shout at Democrats, we pulled a fast one on them.

Legislation hailed by supporters as the most significant change to college student lending in a generation passed the House on Sunday night.

The student aid initiative, which House Democrats attached to their final amendments to the health-care bill, would overhaul the student loan industry, eliminating a $60 billion program that supports private student loans with federal subsidies and replacing it with government lending to students. The House amendments will now go to the Senate.

By ending the subsidies and effectively eliminating the middleman, the student loan bill would generate $61 billion in savings over 10 years, according to the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office.

Thank you, House Democrats, for standing guard all day yesterday.

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Brian just gave me the best news of the day.

You know the crazy maniac who shouted “Baby Killer!” at Bart Stupak?

Abilene’s own Randy Neugebauer, of The Yachting Neugebauers Fame.

Dandy Randy used campaign funds to buy himself a yacht, which is kinda odd being as how Abilene  is in the middle of the desert.  I doubt he was planning on Noah’s flood because he docked that yacht, and a swanky one it is, in Washington Dee Cee.

Abilene, Texas, houses Dyes Air Force Base, where I have seen Airmen living in substandard housing, while Randy let lobbyists buy him a stinkin’ yacht.

I ain’t telling Juanita today.  I’m going to tell her tomorrow after we’ve already packed her pick-up for a road trip.  We’re going to include  little “Cap’n Randy is a Jerk!” sailor caps for her to give away.

Cap’n Randy, of the USS Little Winkie, says he shouted Baby Killer in the heat of the moment.  Honey, there’s no telling what Juanita will shout when she gets heated.

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Do you know what is not quite, but almost, better than getting health care for 32 million Americans and helping close the  prescription drug loophole on Medicare?

“Watching the hang dog Republicans suck on bitter, that’s what!” Juanita exclaims.

“All morning long, I have distinctly heard the sound of an empty cup being banged on a high chair tray, over and over, and over…..”

“I saw John Cornyn on teevee this morning saying that it ain’t over yet.  Well, that might be true if John thinks that a pile of dumb can stop a freight train,” Juanita chuckles.  “And trust me on this, John can supply all that dumb on his own.”

“Then there’s John McCain whimpering that he’s ‘repulsed by all the euphoria‘ over the bill’s passage.  Damn, this is a man who was not repulsed by Sara Palin being unable to name the three branches of government, but is almost merrily repulsed by people not dropping dead because they can’t get health care.  Can get get an adjustment on his Repulse-o-Meter?”

“I was watching the debate yesterday when that creepy Michele Bachman was rattling on in that voice of hers that sounds like a teaspoon in the garbage disposal about how Barack Obama is setting up interment camps with Janet Reno’s black helicopters and little alien children from Kenya or something, when my phone rings and Bev Carter, publisher of the Fort Bend Star newspaper, doesn’t even bother with hellos.  She just shouts out, ‘Doesn’t that Michele Bachman just make you want to upchuck?'”

“Yep.”

“And those of us raised in the Southern Baptist church did not miss the subtext of the GOP’s new website – Fire Pelosi.  They are not going to wait for Armageddon, dammit.”

The site also asks you to “Tweet firebomb” – a sort of version of spamming your friends – using the hashtag #FirePelosi to try to gain growing support for the movement.

“I’m kinda enjoying this.  And they’ll owe us more, too, because when they give themselves heart attacks, we’ll give them health care.  I’ll betcha a pair of pink boots that that’ll piss them off even more!”

Juanita says that you should hug a Republican today for entertaining us so much!

UPDATED:  My friend Kary sent a better graphic —

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Tomorrow, in honor of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, the owners, staff, and customers of The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., have voted to wear our ta-tas a little higher and prouder.

Nancy Pelosi will go down in history as one of the greatest House speakers in America.

“I watched the whole debate and the Republicans looked like they were eaten by a goat and puked over a cliff,” Juanita observes.  “I’ve never seen people that distressed over something good happening since …. well, Barack Obama was elected.  I’d rather eat a coil of barbed wire than listen to them whine and lie one more day.”

“God bless America and God bless the Democratic Party for caring about America.”

“And P.S. – Chet Edwards can eat Buck Pochek’s shorts.  That’s one blue dog who got rabies and didn’t want health care to get well.  That’s why he’s still foaming at the mouth.”

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Juanita and her buddy Bob live within spitting distance of the Parish Coal Burning Power Plant.  Both of them fret about.  Bob, because he has kids.  Juanita because she’s become unnecessarily addicted to breathing, eating, and water.

We got this report today that the parish Plant was plenty proud of itself because it lowered its mercury spew to a ton a year.

“They will not let me buy even one small glass thermometer with, like, maybe a tenth of half of an ounce of mercury in it,” Juanita says, “but I could probably go outside with a cup and get a half a pound in an afternoon.”

“The downside is that we’re all sick.  The upside is that we can rent our kids out as thermometers, which, shockingly, is not as profitable as you’d suspect.  It is fun in the summer, though, to watch the little red line move up their bodies as the day heat of the day progresses.”

By the way, the owners of the Parish Plant live in New Jersey.  New Jersey.  You cannot get further away than that.

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I’m not saying that the Teabaggers are using rocket fuel in a coal oil lamp, but damn, son, they have become wild and crazy with the health care bill looking like a sure thing.

“I’m not saying that we should hit the panic button,” Juanita says, “But I do believe it’s time to have one installed.  I get a mouthful of my own heart when I realize how hateful they are.  It’s seat squirming time.”

“Hell, Hon, even Thelma says they got a cog loose and she’s kinda the local expert of loose cogs, having dated most of them.”

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