Juanita posted a newspaper column from the Houston Chronicle on the front door this morning.

It’s about clean air.  Juanita contends there is a vacuum of leadership in the pro dirty air caucus.  That’s why industry has to pay people to say that dirty air is good.

The Texas Commission on Environmental Quality has worked hard to earn its reputation as a lazy watchdog. But last Wednesday the agency outdid itself, performing an astounding feat of determined laxity: The three-member board voted to allow LyondellBasell Industries, Houston’s largest refinery and one of the nation’s largest emitters of benzene, to renew its 10-year state pollution permit — and to do so without the muss and fuss of a public hearing. Never mind that the city of Houston had pleaded for that hearing.

“We are proud of our thick and hazy air here in petrochemical capital of Texas.  It gives everything sort of a  yellow hue, and hazy, like they do with those Glamour Shots photos.  It makes us all look better,” she says, “with the exception of red eyes and noses that leak.  Hey, there’s a downside to everything!”

“So, when do I get my check?  I did my pro-dirty air duty, now I want my check, too,” she announces.

4

It’s election time here, and if you think that local Democrats are the only ones fighting tooth and nail, you’d be sadly mistaken.

“The best part about the GOP in-fighting is that two of the biggest goofball elected officials the GOP owns are the ones stomping the gas pedal on a Toyota going downhill pulling a wagonload of rocks,” Juanita reports from the scene.

“It’s Looneytunes time,” she continues with delight.  “Both newspapers agree that Sheriff Milton Wright’s entrance into the District Attorney’s race hurt his favored candidate more than it helped him.  Milton wrote a letter and published it as an ad in local paper.  You can see it right here.  Problem is – the letter made things worse.”

“First of all, folks looking for family values would look to Milton and his Boys pretty much at the bottom of the pile.  Milton has entertained a lady friend for years and years and everybody knows it,” she says.  “Plus, his chief deputy left his wife for a much younger and pregnant model who was working for him.  If you want someone to testify about your family value, you might do better check the gutters outside the local honky tonk.”

“Second off, his argument that his buddy Richard Raymond doesn’t need criminal law experience to be district attorney kinda makes me nervous.  I mean, I don’t go to a podiatrist to have heart surgery.  I think the sheriff should have just left that one alone,” Juanita surmises.

“But, he can’t.  Cause he’s goofy.”

“And then, just to keep Milton from hogging all the stoopid, County Judge Bob Hebert has to jump in this election time glee club,” she grins.

“Boss Hog Hebert is defending a fellow county commissioner’s shenanigans under the heading of, ‘Hell, I told him to do it!'”

“Hebert, who proves that money can’t buy happiness but it can buy a college degree, uses all of his double digit IQ points to make his fellow Republican on the court look like a total idiot,” she continues while spraying the hell outta Verdelia’s freshly teased  do.

“Trust me, Babe, commissioners do not need help to look like idiots.  They are pretty much experts at it all on their own.”

“So, it is the day before the election, and the old white men Republicans are throwing words at each other,” she laughs.  “So, what’s new?”

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