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There are certain wonderful privileges that go with being a world renowned hairdresser instead of a blogger.

Like this one.

Last night, Juanita closed down the salon and took the whole staff into Houston to hear Fort Bend native Paul Begala speak to the Harris County Democrats.  She got to schmooze a little with Paul.  He asked her if it is true that Fort Bend County went 49% for Obama.

“I looked him straight in the eye and said, ‘Boy howdy, ain’t that something?  We rearranged the furniture since you left.'”

“He asked how we did it, ” she continues with a grin, “and I told him that we went by the book.”

“And then,” she continued, “I got to introduce him to the man who is the brand spanking new State Rep for the district Paul grew up in.”

“Paul was tickled to death.  He reminded us that when he left Fort Bend, Tom DeLay was his State Rep.  Ron Reynolds is a mile closer to heaven than Tom DeLay will ever be.”

“And to top off a perfect evening, Paul’s high school social studies teacher, Don Drachenberg, was there to help welcome him back home.”

“They could be seen huddled-up and catching-up,” she smiles.

“I stay out of Houston politics because I’ve got a weed-infested garden to tend to here,” Juanita admits.  “However, when Paul Begala is in town, all bets are off.  If you haven’t heard him preach the story about man’s first question to God, you’ve missed a treat.”

“Paul Begala is a doozy and this village is proud to have raised him”

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Thank you, Nick Anderson.

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Juanita is prepared to apologize to the sheriff.  She lied in public about him

Under legal advice from her attorney, Jackson P. “Hub Caps” Frontage, Juanita wrote the following apology and put it on the front door.

Dear Sheriff Milton Wright,

I apologize for calling you goofy.  I apologize for saying that you couldn’t get 20% of the vote out if your accordion depended on it and that you lost the race for a guy running for DA.  That was incorrect and rude of me.

After doing some research, I have discovered that your attempt to be kingmaker did not  involve just the DA’s race.  No, sireee.

It also involved the County Court at Law race, you doofus.

My friend Hal reminded me that you also endorsed Rick Forlano for county court at law.  He got a whopping 37% of the vote, giving him the distinction of coming in 3rd in a two man race.

So, I sincerely apologize for underestimating your skills at being a political piranha.

Why don’t you just hire somebody to kneecap your favorite candidates next time?  That seems like it would be a little kinder to them.

Love and Fried Okra,
Juanita

P.S. Verdelia wants to know if we could pay you to endorse all the Republicans in November and what might such services cost.  She’s setting up a donation jar for it.

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A lot of you have been emailing me about Kesha Rogers.

I know, it’s a mess.

You’re just gonna have to give me a few days to sort some stuff out about it.  I will have words.  Many of them.  But, I’m not ready yet.

Check back after the weekend.

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“Okay, so I know that no one is shocked about this,” Juanita say while Thelma reads aloud from the Internet.

On top of an appearance on the Tonight Show and rumors that she’s shopping around a TV show with reality producer Mark Burnett, Palin and her entourage were seen partaking in one of celebrity’s lushest rituals — the Oscar gifting suite.

While the group was loading up on freebies, the Los Angeles Times reported.

The Times also indicated that Palin was supposed to donate $1,700 along with all of her gift items to the Red Cross, which is currently helping with relief efforts in Haiti and Chile.

But E! Online insists, “we can assure you she did not give up any of her swag.” They quote an unnamed vendor who claims that upwards of 20 people from the Palin camp swarmed the event. “They were like locusts,” he told the entertainment news outlet.

“Locusts.  Now they know how John McCain felt,” she laughed.

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You know Juanita cannot ignore this.

Sources tell CBS13 a state senator from Southern California was arrested for allegedly driving drunk after leaving Faces, a gay nightclub in midtown Sacramento, early Wednesday morning.

The California Highway Patrol pulled over Senator Roy Ashburn at 2:00 a.m. Wednesday after an officer noticed a black Chevy Tahoe swerving at 13th and L Streets.

Ashburn, a father of four, is a Republican Senator representing parts of Kern, Tulare and San Bernardino Counties with a history of opposing gay rights.

And I know y’all can’t ignore it either because you’ve been sending Juanita notes under the TELL JUANITA heading all morning.

Our resident expert on gay issues,  Winston Taylor “Twirlie” Harrison, took one look at this picture of Senator Roy Ashburn  and said, “Are you actually telling me that someone went home with this person?  Girl, are they short of gay men in California now?  Hump!  It’s very obvious that someone else in that car was very drunk.  I mean blind drunk.”

So don’t be like Senator Roy Ashburn.  Come on out of the Be Nice About Hypocrisy Closet and let us know what you think.

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