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Kesha Rogers is a Lyndon LaRoucheian running as a Democrat for CD22 in Texas.

Juanita says this is happening as punishment from God for me saying that nothing could be worse than Nick Lampson running again.  This, truly, is worse.

Now, Kesha is gung-ho about slamming the Democratic Party every chance she gets.  She apparently, while running under the Democratic ticket, hates Democrats worse than Karl Rove does.

“Up until last Friday night, I thought Kesha’s favorite drink was Kool Aid,” Juanita says.  “But, Honey, she can down that free Democratic beer.  Here’s a picture of her at the Harris County Democratic Kickoff drinking the free beer like she was planning to use her bladder to float the battleship Texas.”

“I know the picture isn’t very good, because every time she saw me, she ran the other way.  I tend to have that effect on noncompoops,” Juanita observes.

“So her platform seems to be ‘Democrats, NO!  Free beer, YES!’  I think Junior Janochek, Jr., ran under than platform back in Junior College,” Juanita recalls.  “He wasn’t a serious candidate either.”

My buddy Hal has a plan to keep Kesha out of consideration this November.  I have another plan to have some fun with her until then.  Stay tuned – it’s coming together.

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Deb and I were talking and we wish that we had been invited to this party —-

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Tom DeLay is back on the news and nothing could make Juanita happier.

“Every time I see him, I am reminded why I don’t miss him,” she says.  Juanita lives within spitting distance of Tom’s house, something she takes full advantage of every chance she gets.

“A couple of years ago , when a waiter in Jack Abramoff’s Washington DeeCee restaurant kindly asked Tom not to smoke his big nasty cigar in the restaurant because it was against  laws passed by the federal government, DeLay replied with a smirk, ‘I AM the federal government.’  So, being called arrogant by Tom DeLay is like being called prissy by …. well, Tom DeLay.”

“I think what they’re doing wrong is because of arrogance,” former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, R-Texas, said of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-California, and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nevada, in an interview that aired Sunday on CNN’s State of the Union.”

“So, it’s Sunday and we’re in the middle of a recession and a health care crisis and the best Candy Crowley could do was Tom DeLay?  What, was Paris Hilton busy this morning?”

“Tom DeLay pointing the arrogance finger.  If that don’t just beat all,” she shakes her head.

“Honey, that whole interview was just a circus looking for big top.”  She means it.  Yes, she does.

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One of the founders of The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., is Fenway Fran, who has recently accepted the position of Senior West Coast Correspondent and then had to move out there to do it.

Fran reports that Texas got famous in Oregon.  And not in a good way.  Here’s a letter to the editor of the Oregonian.

Y’all vote for me

What started about a year ago and was humorously ignored is now starting to really irritate me. I’m talking about phone calls asking me to vote for Republican candidates and conservative initiatives in the state of Texas. As a Democrat living in Multnomah County, which is one of the most liberal counties in the United States, I have to scratch my head at the ignorance Texas Republicans display.

These occasional calls came to a peak this weekend when we returned from a trip (not to Texas) to find recorded pleas to get out the Republican vote. Kay Bailey Hutchison’s four recordings to this Oregonian 2,000 miles away convinced me how desperate her campaign was, and I wish the voice that invited me to a local precinct meeting had left a callback number.

Calling the Texas secretary of state’s office and the ethics committee in Austin got me nowhere. They said they get the same calls. It didn’t seem strange to them that there was a difference between my place of residence and theirs.

The Texas Republican Party seems only to make phone calls, rather than answer them, because I can’t get a live voice to deal with my problem.

I came away from this ordeal thinking that in the past decade there isn’t just one village missing their idiot.

CHRIS LAMP
Northeast Portland

Which makes us wonder – did Kay carry Portland?

By the way, Fran also plays bass guitar in Juanita’s band, Bitchin’ Betty and the Sequined Backhoes.  We will be making our Spring  2010 debut over at Yankers Bar, Grill, and Whatnot in Pleak next month.

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My friend Kary grew up gay in Conroe, Texas.  He must have done something really awful in a past life.

Kary left Conroe, joined the military and served with honor during Viet Nam, and then went on to become pretty damn famous in the arts.  His annual income is now equal to the entire gross national product of Conroe, Texas.  But, Kary would never spend one damn penny of it in Conroe. It’s his adorable way of settling the score.

Anyway, this morning I sent him this link.

A number of high-ranking military officers whose names appear on a well-publicized letter supporting “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” were involved in career-ending scandals or have said the letter doesn’t represent their views, according to Servicemembers United.

The organization’s preliminary investigation of 200 names on the letter, which more than 1,100 flag and general officers signed, reveals new information that could undermine the document supporting the 1993 law barring gays from serving openly in the military.

I attached a note that said, “Hey Kary, look at the lengths they’ll go to in order to discredit gays.  Y’all must be very scary people.”

The answer came back quickly —

You better be AFRAID! I’m comin over there and DOIN YORE HAIR!

Do not mess with the gays for they have cornered the market on clever.

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Most of you know about the local connection we have here in Fort Bend County with the two little nincompoops who ran the ACORN sting and then couldn’t get themselves into a bigger mess if they had been teaching two year olds how to fingerpaint.

Juanita took personal delight that the girl who so convincingly played the hooker in the ACORN pseudo-scam is the granddaughter of Terese Raia, the self-righteous Christian Coalition sex-obsessed (she’s against it) woman who is our State Republican Executive Committeewoman.

Well, it appears that Miss Giles didn’t get near enough attention or make near enough money, even though she had to drop out of college to handle all the media frenzy.

So, Miss Giles decided to portray a different kind of prostitute – the political kind.

The pink paper in her letter begging people to send her money for nothing more than having made a public fool of herself a year ago, got to Juanita.

So, she decided to reply —

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