You Can Bring a Knife to a Gun Fight in Texas

September 04, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Today in Texas you can start openly carrying your sword.  I wish I was kidding.

Texas used to have a law saying you couldn’t carry a knife longer than 5.5 inches.  It would be so easy to make a winkie joke here about the state legislature in Texas, but I won’t unless you absolutely insist. Well, with a law that went into effect Friday, blades longer than 5.5 inches – including daggers, machetes and, yes, swords – can now be openly carried by adults in Texas.

You know, because there was a real problem in Texas with the ability of people to play pirate in the middle of damn Walmart.

Hunter Follett, owner of Dallas-area sword shop Swords of Might, said the law might give a bad name to those who collect and train with medieval weaponry.

“I think it’s an OK law,” Follett said. “Swords have been carried for 5,000 years, but I don’t want people going out in the streets who don’t know what they’re doing or don’t have training in carrying a sword and potentially frightening people.”

Potentially?  Ya think?

Oh well, at least there is going to be some hysterical funny, albeit messy, self-inflicted wounds.

Y’all, I’m gonna lobby the lege that I should be allowed to openly carry my chain saw.  I’ve thought for a long time that I should start another non-blog named The Teas Chainsaw Manicurist.

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.

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40 Comments to “You Can Bring a Knife to a Gun Fight in Texas”

  1. You may think this is scary but it aint! I use a sword and guess which you would rather face….10ft way in front is a man with a real sword….10feet to the rear is another guy with a license to carry his 12 shot 9mm pistol. Both want to kill. Ever try to out run a 9mm bullet? I can out run a guy with a sword! I would not care if the guy had a battle axe! Compared to just a small 22, the sword is nothing!

  2. I, for one, cannot stand seeing that “no comments” below the brilliant “Texas Chain Saw Manicurist” line. Hope somebody does something about that.

  3. This legality fascinates me. Isn’t it true that Aggie Corps members have carried swords for like 150 years? How come all that nonsense wasn’t illegal? Especially after one of the Aggie Corps members drew his sword on some football fan that dared set foot on their football field.

  4. I have carried a sword in public (saber actually made in 1862) – it is (was) a PITA. But it can be fun at times. The manager of the meat department at a store where I sometimes shop was a great history buff. When he found out I had recently acquired the saber, he asked to see it. Now the store is one of those little local Mom & Pops where on any given day the aisles are blocked by little old ladies more engaged is gossip than shopping. The gossip stopped and the aisles cleared real fast as I, with the long blade in hand, slowly walked down the rows of cereals and canned goods. As the old saying goes: The sword is the hardest to face… you can see it coming!

  5. @L.Long—You say you “use a sword.” I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around that comment. Do you walk around with it strapped to your hip in a scabbard when you go to Walmart? Are there that many other men out there who carry swords who are bent on mayhem and you need protection from them? Do little children snicker at you? Inquiring minds want to know…

  6. Sam in St Paul says:

    Now we know who are the dullest blades in the drawer.

  7. That Other Jean says:

    You know some dumbass is going to have a heart attack from carrying around and trying to brandish impressively, a huge, honkin’ claymore–if he doesn’t cut his foot off first.

  8. Prediction: next on the list for allowed open carry – flamethrowers.

  9. @maggie–Either that or bazookas.

  10. It’s a logical extension of the “right to bear arms” – swords, bowie knives, etc. were considered “arms” – so if one ignores the “well-regulated militia” language, edged weapons should have the same protections as firearms.

    That said, one wonders what happens to folks with non-white skin who decide to open-carry edged weapons. There are sites selling such weapons that look more like a prop from a sword & sorcery movie – covered with spikes, etc. I expect the police reaction would depend upon whether one looked like an antifa or a Trumpista.

    Interesting historical note: the table knife was invented by Cardinal Richelieu in 1637. Prior to this, people used their hunting daggers to carve off hunks of meat and bread at the table. Cardinal Richelieu ordered the sharp points ground off a set of knives for use at his dinner table – and the table knife was born. King Louis XIV later mandated their use, perhaps feeling that the fewer weapons near the royal throat the better.

    On a side note – I’ve got a friend who does historical re-enactments, and teaches fencing (both theatrical and practical). He’s always been a bit worried about how to carry the various swords / daggers, etc necessary to his work without running into concealed weapons charges.

  11. Swords, guns, chainsaws, flamethrowers, bazookas…

    Why not go all out and include brains, but make it mandatory when people go out in public? Probably need to make some kind of exception in Louie’s district though, or the streets might become awfully quiet. The retail stores could become severely impacted.

  12. Wow, this means I can now carry my katana with me while I’m waiting for the Zombie Apocolypse. Awesome!

  13. @maggie
    I can’t think of a better close range weapon for self-defense than a flamethrower. On the down side, The tank of jellied gasoline does stay a tad unwieldy until its about half-full.

  14. TTPT…I’m a member of the SCA and was sword fighting most weekends. And as I said out running a sword is easy, out running a 9mm is near impossible. So want to get all pissy about weapons outlaw guns! Or how many people in the USA are killed with guns? How many killed with swords? Allow swords any day! outlaw guns! If a man approaches with a 6ft sword, or another wearing a coat…be very afraid…of the man with a coat!!!

  15. Fred Farklestone says:

    You should be able to carry a chainsaw around in public, after all it’s a musical instrument!

    Chainsaw kicks in about 1:40, into the video!

  16. Fred Farklestone says:

    “We must once again express our gratitude to our House sponsors, Primary Author, Rep. Frullo, Joint Authors, Reps. Dutton, Kuempel, Moody and Springer and Coauthors, Reps. Canales and Lambert as well as our Senate sponsor, Sen. John Whitmire”

    Now knives have rights and a site for dullest blades in Texas! Anyone represented by any of these dull blades mentioned above?

  17. Shaking my head again, and sorry Y’all but I have to say only in Texas would this be an issue. Texas, a strange and wonderful country, Oh mean state.

  18. Dang, that does it, I’m getting that F-350 pickup truck, the ‘Burban just don’t cut it.
    I gotta have something to carry my W88 around in, those knife and gun weenie-envy dudes got nuthin on that. It only weighs about 900 pounds, but I gots a couple of 300lb W80’s, and some little suitcase nukes too.
    Just grab the ripcord on one of them puppies and watch ’em pee their tricked out BDU’s.
    Go ahead, make my day, all you pind!ckthebugf0ckers shorties.

    Eat your fat lil heart out too, KJU.

    Hell, I’ve been using machete’s and the like forever, even in a sheath out back, never thought it was a 2ndmendment ‘peacock’ thing.

  19. slipstream says:

    I once needed two sections of 3/4″ black steel pipe, 36 inches long — I was doing some woodworking, and needed longer pipe clamps for gluing up a bookcase. Went to the hardware store. They cut the two sections of pipe, threaded one end of each, then taped the pipes together to make them easier for me to carry out of the store.

    I had parked several blocks away.

    So I’m walking down the sidewalk with two pieces of black steel pipe taped together.

    I discovered that people give you lots of extra space when you are walking down the sidewalk with two 36″ sections of black steel pipe taped together.

  20. Fred Farklestone: “Anyone represented by any of these dull blades mentioned above?”.

    Yep, John Kuempel, yer typical teabagger. His long-term Tx Hse D-44 daddy Edmund was a bit more tolerable (and I think TxMonthly rated him “furniture”, IIRC), but he died in 2010 two days after getting re-elected, his son skated in the special. Given the electorate in these districts there’s NO way to get rid of them.

  21. Jane & PKM says:

    Has anyone ever attended a joint service formal affair where some swashbuckling ceremonial sword bearing moron hasn’t embarrassed himself on the dance floor by inadvertently lifting a skirt?

    OORAH! Let’s go public and shop with our swords. Who knows, we might get lucky and totally strip a woman. /s

  22. Maggie, ask and yet shall receive, if you go to Michigan at least.

  23. @Sandridge

    to me the ‘Burban is a far better delivery system than F350

    @Jane & PKM

  24. Marc Davis says:

    I would SO buy that DVD: The Teas Chainsaw Manicurist.

  25. Micr says: to me the ‘Burban is a far better delivery system than F350

    Nahh, too hard to take it in and out. With a pickup it’s just use the shed hoist and plop it in the bed. Then just cruise by the nearest latest ‘open carry’ showoff circlejerkfest, with the blinking LED’s on the case, park next to them– hey dudes, whose is bigger–10-9-8-7-6….

    /s .. this is all just snark, DHS, rly…hey…wait…

  26. I have to share these.

    Sword-wielding robber is chased off by shopkeeper with much bigger sword:

    Fargo man is arrested for clearing snow with flamethrower:

    People in the surrounding residences noticed a bright orange cloud and heard what they thought was “puff the magic dragon spewing mayhem all over hell.” Boy, we bet they were surprised when it turned out to be none other than Todd trying to melt the neighborhood. This prompted them to call the police.

    Todd said that he was simply “fed up with battling the elements” and that he “did not possess the willpower necessary to move four billion tons of white bull****.”

  27. M18 Hellcat. It can keep up (well, almost) on the 610 loop. And it even carries a 76mm cannon. Dudes don’t come any badder than that.

  28. I don’t know how to tell you this boys, but it’s not all boys. Many woman are copying Wonder Woman’s style trend – sword down the dress back. Here’s a look at several:

  29. When you can legally bring a semi-auto weapon, carried in the open, to a gun fight in Texas, who would bring a knife? Texas’ open-carry law makes knives obsolete as weapons of choice in committing crimes. Texas has much better ideas about how to commit mayhem than using knives. They’re just for wimps – like the Canadians and the Brits. Texans do it right. Just blow the cops away with your AR-15 modified illegally for full auto, and walk away from the crime scene. No need to run.

  30. JAKvirginia says:

    I’ve never been to Texas. And Texas keeps giving me good reasons not to go.

    Texas — The Big Medieval.


  31. Don A in Pennsyltucky says:

    Here in Pennsyltucky, even having a sword in your house has hazards that are not all that different from having a gun in your house A man of my acquaintance had his ear half cut off during a domestic disturbance when his wife came at him with a sword which, as I understand it, was a “decoration” hanging on the wall. (She’s headed for prison and the divorce action continues.

  32. @JAKvirginia

    Texas, like Tosca, is not for everyone. That said, the only thing keeping me here is three grandboys.

  33. Terence Weldon says:

    One reason I’m grateful to live in the UK. We’re not only tough on guns, we’re tough on knives. It’s an offence to carry any knives, unless its obviously for culinary purposes. Juveniles are simply not allowed to buy knives. There are plenty of historic swords about – on display as decorative items, hanging on walls or in cabinets. Carrying a sword will definitely get you arrested – as will openly carrying a knife.

    Thanks to tough gun laws, we have hardly any gun crime, so those with criminal intent try to use knives instead (which do much less damage, but are still dangerous). The result is tough laws on knives, too.

  34. WA Skeptic says:

    Just about the time you believe Texas can’t boggle your mind any more, they go and prove you wrong.

    No wonder they like the Twatwaffle so much.

  35. Opinionated Hussy says:

    I have the dress sword (one side of the guard folds down to lie flat against one’s hip) that belonged to an ancestor who fought at the Battle of Waterloo. It’s hasn’t cut anything but wedding cakes for the last 100 years, but I it sounds like a great part of my outfit, next time I’m in the Lone Star State! (But can I get it through the airport?)

  36. Debbo – that’s really cool fashion, providing you never plan to sit down.

    I keep trying to envision getting behind the wheel of a car thusly clad. Or even on horseback, a la Wonder Woman.

    Probably pretty good for posture, though. Slouch, and you stab yourself in the tuchis.

  37. AlanInAustin ... says:

    Does “openly carrying” a sword mean that I – I mean someone who owns a sword – can’t use a scabbard? Perhaps if the scabbard has a label saying “CAUTION: Sword Inside”

  38. VeeGee in VT says:

    5,000 years? WTF? They carried sabers in the Civil War.

  39. With most of the Righties being hysterical of the muslim hordes beheading everyone in sight, I want to know where they found enough votes in the Legislature to pass this.

    Should we do serious background checks on any who voted for it to see if they are parts of sleeper cells?


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