Rick Perry Got Born Again. Again.

April 29, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all are gonna think I’m kidding so I’m glad someday finally wrote about it.  Rick Perry got borned again again.

RickPerry:God_2smallestSeriously.  They took him down to the river and baptized him last month.  I guess the first time didn’t take.

With only close friends and family looking on, the born-again Christian governor was baptized outdoors, in the spring waters once used to wash the sins off Sam Houston, the first elected president of the Republic of Texas and one of the most colorful political figures in American history.

Only problem I see is that they didn’t hold him under long enough.

Perry used the same river that Sam Houston was baptized in. Sam Houston was the best politician Texas ever had – drunk or sober.   Sam made a joke that if the river washed away his sins, he felt real bad for the fish.

With Rick, however, we’re gonna have to skim stupid off the river for a month. During the baptism the fish were the smartest things in the river.

 

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0 Comments to “Rick Perry Got Born Again. Again.”


  1. I was wondering if any fish survived??

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  2. Angelo_Frank says:

    Rick Perry still pandering to the evangelical Christian crowd for another run for the presidency. As usual, this is just another publicity stunt.

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  3. Uncle Dave says:

    Best guess, Perry took the opportunity to prove his anti-environmenatlist credentials by polluting the spring. If he wants to prove he really found the Lord he can start by showing some concern for Texas children who lack medical insurance.

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  4. e platypus onion says:

    Someone should have set the river on fire and parboiled the spawn of redneck Satan. I thought clean fresh water was in short supply in Texas. Perry put the pol back in pollution.

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  5. Don A in Pennsyltucky says:

    Let us wait and see if this one is effective enough to make him act like he give’s a rip about anybody who can’t line his pockets.

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  6. daChipster says:

    You mean, the Sam Houston who supported the legitimacy of the US Federal Government and was run out of the governor’s office for refusing to swear an oath of loyalty to the Confederacy?

    THAT Sam Houston?

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  7. BraxtonBraggart says:

    Yes, that Sam Houston. That Elisabet Ney statue of him in the Capitol weeps a little every time Perry walks past it.

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  8. Rick Perry born again? Bad enough that he was born the first time!

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  9. Marge Wood says:

    All I thought of when I looked at the pictures was blech, I sure am glad I didn’t have to get in that water and come out all green and smelly. If he cares about God’s creation he might oughta do something about whoever is polluting that spring.

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  10. Ralph Wiggam says:

    Why couldn’t Sarah Palin baptize him?

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  11. Joe's Confused....still says:

    Clearly a sign of too much time on my hands….If you follow the link to the Texas Tribune story, there’s a link to a video clip of Little Washington Creek.
    The creek is full of floating moss. Somewhere there is a photo of Rick Perry covered in green (I’m not gonna say it but it rhymes with time) moss. I’d pay good money for that one

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  12. daChipster says:

    Ralph wins teh Internets!

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  13. Does he believe that if he just keeps getting born again at some point he’ll get it right?

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  14. JAKvirginia says:

    Ten to one he peed when they dunked him.

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  15. I’m not up on this but how many times do you need to be baptized? isn’t it supposed to be once?

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  16. Hope he took off his glasses. They may be a-floatin’ in the green gunk covering that pond. Apparently he had the fire department spray the gunk to make a clean spot for his grand entrance. Unfortunately baptism just doesn’t work if you’re a hypocrite.

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  17. Marcia in CO says:

    @Rhea .. yes, once is suppose to be enough but in pRick Perry’s case … 3 times may be the charm!!

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  18. Marge Wood says:

    I imagine he was baptized a long time ago, at least once, because I don’t think his church does christening. Sometimes folks get itchy and think they weren’t converted enough when they got baptized so they get a preacher to do it again. I have no comment about how many times he’s done it or whether or not it took. That’s up to God.

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  19. He has more than enough sins to need them washed away. I just wish you could wash away teh stoopid.

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  20. Claus in CPH says:

    Third time lucky….

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  21. O shure! He’d use that local river for a rechristening (is that kind of like rebranding? like all the rebranding the rethugs are supposed to be doin’?). If he could stand to part with some dough, he should have gone all the way to Israel and did it in the River Jordan. That would have had bluebirds and flower petals flyin’ all over his picture that he likes to sign and give away!

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  22. Corinne Sabo says:

    He needs all the baptizing he can get. A heart would help, also.

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  23. Aggieland liz says:

    The fishies are way smarter but I guarantee lil ricky is a whole lot scalier 😛 ich…

    Kudos to you Ralph! Maybe Dubya n Cheney need a re-do too?

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  24. How much you want to bet that a bunch of that water just flowed in one ear and out the other, with no impediment in between?

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  25. Ralph — Another great idea!!!

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  26. Zyxomma says:

    Until (p)Rick takes to heart the words of his lord (you know, that inconvenient to a RWNJ stuff about feeding the poor, healing the sick, least-among-us text), and does something positive with his office (might I suggest accepting federal money for Medicaid expansion?), his symbolic third-and-counting baptism is meaningless.

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