More Ted Head
Ted Cruz, dammit, now says that Beto O’Rourke is a California boy.
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) told a rally crowd in Humble, Texas that his opponent would turn Texas into California by bringing “tofu, silicon and dyed hair,” according to a Reuters reporter.
First of all, Ted didn’t tell them that he hisownself wants to get rid Texas of What-a-Burger, playing in a band, and cussin’. I did not know that Texans were that dainty. Hell, this is Texas, where Willie Nelson sings, Whataburger came in second for the state symbol, and the ladies can cuss until your ears bleed.
Okay, let’s talk about tofu, silicon, and dyed hair. Honey, I think he’s talking about the First family.
And surely Ted wouldn’t dye his hair or fix his comb over. Here’s a guy who went from this …
to this …
by solely the power of prayer.
Praise the Lord, y’all.
Thanks to Gray and Epp for the heads up.
Tofu can stay in California, but dyed hair is Texas all over. And when he says “silicon,” surely he means “silicone?”
Well, I wouldn’t have that in any state, no sirree Bob!
1Why in the Wide, Wide World of Sports would I believe Canadian Ted about any-damn-thing? He aint a Texan. He was born in Canada, eh? He changed his name from Rafael to be less Hispanic in a State where being Hispanic is not a detriment. He may be intelligent but his stupid meanness cancels out all that big giant IQ.
2Maybe Ted’s buying Alex Jones’ supplements?
Seriously it sounds as though all Ted’s got is firing up his deplorable base and hope enough of them show up to vote.
3As a Californian I really wish that I would stop SEEING him in my small town airport when he visits family-one time his luggage was lost (no idea if intentional?—!). Hey, Ted, keep your money & eating mouth out of CA if you’re gonna’dis it.
4Gimme the tofu, silicon, & hair dye. I heard if Ted Cruz gets re-elected he’s going to spend his political capital by requiring all Texas TV stations to run The Great White North, his favorite program as a youth, with tips on how to fry bacon the Canadian way, without a machine gun:
5https://youtu.be/0pPRaD6TKLc
JJ –
6That complete sentiment should have been “Praise the Lord and pass the Rogaine – and the Just for Men!”
let’s think about this: Beto (Robert) born in El Paso, Texas; Ted (Rafael) born in Calgary, Ontario – who is the genuine Texian? I think the answer is obvious.
7Or maybe Ted’s daddy got his congregation together to Pray Away the Grey.
It’s a miracle!
8maybe Heidi told him all about California as she was born there
9Does Ted not know that his own wife dyes her hair?
10RepubAnon, some interesting stats about Rafael’s base: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gun-owners-more-likely-to-vote-than-non-gun-owners_us_5b9134abe4b0511db3dfe79e
11Lunargent:
Molly Ivins got it right when she said only thing wrong with baptists, they didn’t hold them under long enough when they baptised then.
Too bad that didn’t happen to Cruz.
12Can we have Cruz deported? After all, he’s a foreigner from WAY up north. Trouble is, I don’t think Canada would let him back in. Sigh…
Frankly, I wouldn’t mind if Texas turned into California — except for the smog and the forest fires.
13No good to fix the hair if you don’t fix what’s under it. And the stupid smirk is still the same.
14Dyed hair? Oh, no! You mean all the blondes you take care of in the Salon are real.
15Not to nitpick, but Calgary is in Alberta province, not in Ontario. Calgary is western Canada, while Ontario shares the Great Lakes with Michigan. Fun fact: Windsor, Ontario is actually south of Detroit. (I’m a native Detroiter)
16Hypocrisy, thy name is Raphael Cruz!
17By silicon, doesn’t Cruz understand that means jobs?
18Or does he think Texas is the intertubes version of a “fly over” state…
Only Teddie Crooze would ‘upgrade’ to the Mittens Romney hairline gels and the crazy eyes Rick Santorum contact lenses as an “improvement.” On the cra cra scale of 0-10, Teddie is right up there with Marsha Blackburn at 13.6.
19Ol Raphael is thrashing like a rattlesnake pinned to the ground with a forked stick, the desperation is palpable.
20And my advice to Texas is to treat him in the same way you’d treat the snake, they do have the same eyes and smile.
S @ 7, just to be precise Calgary is in Alberta.
21Silicon in our beaches & computer chips.
That blue hair ain’t natural, honey,
Tofu is for Canadians so the good stuff can be left for us.
22New line of work for Conversion Therapists! “Pray Away the G(r)ay!” TM
You’re welcome.
23Dyed hair and silicone? Has he been to Houston? As a born and bred Texan, I can assure ya’ll that big tits and blonde tresses are not new to Texas, or Mrs. Cruz. Granted, tofu may have to battle it out with beef, but that will be just one more new industry dems can bring to the state. There is room for both.
24Ted DOES know that California is a state, right?
What I think has got his knickers in a twist is the fact that CA is bigger in population and more important politically than Texas is.
He and Trump are both obsessed with size for some reason. Gee, I wonder why that is.
25Texas Expat, I read somewhere that Heidi Cruz is a vegetarian. And I would imagine she eats tofu on occasion in addition to dying her hair. And another thing, has Teddie ever noticed how many restaurants in Texas now have vegetarian and vegan options. And as for silicon, as in chips and semiconductors, offhand I can think of several companies that manufacture them – Texas Instruments, TowerJazz just to name two. And what does he think Dell Computers uses in their computers? The boy is just ignorant or trying to stoke his base.
26@Jill Ann
From 80s to early oughts I had a part time consulting gig with a friend of a friend in Detroit. One day a colleague said lets go to Havana House over in Windsor for lunch. Havana??? House? OMG. Twice. Fresh Cubans on Ouellette street. Heaven on earth at the other end of the tunnel.
27What a terrible thing to say about Californian – Ronald Reagan!
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