Archive for February, 2016

A Fascist, a Klansman and a Mobster walk into a bar…

February 28, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

…and the bartender says “Hi, Don!”

The Donald is having himself a bit of a day.

First, he re-tweeted a Mussolini quote.  Turned out, though, the Donald was spammed by a Gawker bot that tweeted Mussolini quotes at him for months. Media outlets had publicly flagged the ilduce2016 account as an amusing troll, but then il dunce took the bait, the last person in politics not in on the joke.

Then, he was THRICE given the opportunity to deny his Duke, but proved to be much more loyal than St. Peter was, to his Lord.  Ask any two Corinthians, they’ll tell you.  They’ll also tell you he knew EXACTLY who David Duke was, and he was much more prissy about his support a few yeas ago.

Speaking of the last man in on a joke: Ted Cruz has just discovered Trump was married to the Mob so, all in all, it’s been a helluva day for Don Hairleone.


You Broke It. You Buy It.

February 27, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Get this – Mitch McConnell is in such a state of panic that he’s swearing that the Republican establishment will help Hillary win if Trump is the nominee.

mitchmcconnellIn a stunning report by the New York Times, Republican sources confirm that party leadership is planning to destroy Trump and give Hillary Clinton the win rather than let him have control of the GOP.

To rally depressed Republicans, McConnell has hatched an unthinkable tactical retreat: Let Hillary Clinton win and focus on maintaining control over the Senate.

Poor baby.  Break out the violin and play the heartbreak of idiocy.

Mitch, you thumb sucking chin drawling knuckle dragging dope, you built Donald Trump.  He’s your invention.  You told everybody that government is their enemy and should not be trusted.  You’re the one who scared screaming crap outta everybody over having a black man be President.  Donald Trump is the logical conclusion of everything you’ve said and done for seven years.

Hell, Mitch, Donald Trump is so your invention that you ought to be able to claim as a deduction on your income tax.

So Mitch, kiss my big blue butt.


Get Your Chisel Ready, Honey

February 27, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Democrats, we have a hefty job ahead of us.

Ted Cruz toddled back to Pat Robertson’s teevee show and shocked America with that Magic 8 ball he carries around in his pocket.  Ted can foresee an America where is not the President and it involves some grueling work.

“We’re not far away from ordering the chisels to come out to remove crosses and Stars of David from the tombstones of the fallen soldiers,” he said, drawing a gasp from some of the 700 in attendance. “That’s what the stakes are in this election.”

No, this is not satire.  He really said that.  Go to Google and search for Ted Cruz tombstones.

I coud not make that up.  I couldn’t.  That’s just too weird.  Stephen King couldn’t make that up. Ted Cruz, however, is just a shiver looking for a spine to run up.

Thanks to Chamlee for the heads up.

We Have Very Cool Friends

February 27, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

You’d think that a presidential candidate with a nine figure budget could spare a couple hundred extra to buy up all the possible website combination of his name, but noooooooo …

One of our very own bought and made a website.

Click right here.

Everybody say, “Thank you, Barbara.  Well played, girlfriend.”


The Short Bus Spring

February 27, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

OK, coupla things: true, no one has asked Vicente Fox to pay for Trump’s wall. Vicente Fox is no longer el Presidente de Mexico, also true, so he can’t actually speak for the country.  But you gotta love his moxie!

I’m not paying for his [momma don’t read this word] wall!

Most of Donald’s response was to clutch his pearls and swoon over the bad Mexican’s bad words.

Then, like the bullying moron he is, Trump said, “Fine, the wall just got 10 feet taller.” Implied in that remark is “Wanna try for twenty?” like an abusive man who just beat a woman and raises his hand again: “Want another one?”

His moronic crowd cheered lustily over the strong man who doesn’t like bad language and will deservedly punish those rapey Mexicans by adding another 10 feet onto a mythical wall that will never be built. They love a daddy-figure, they love White Christianity, they love authoritarianism, so they love Donald Trump, finger-wagging faux-moralist, who comes home from a hard day at the office bankrupting companies for his personal profit to preen for his loving, xenophobic, racist, dim, children.

Hell, Donald, why not add 50 feet to the wall? What would that be, ridiculous? Check your rear-view. We passed ridiculous the minute you stepped on that escalator and started the Dumbass Revolution.

The Short Bus Spring.


Thank you, Miz Lindsey

February 26, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Speaking at the Washington Press Club, Miz Lindsey Graham went all Comedy Central last night.

During his speech, Graham lamented that Hillary Clinton is about to become president, blaming it on Republicans.

“How could that be? My party has gone bat**** crazy,” he explained.

He then joked about how much Senate Republicans dislike Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX).

“If you kill Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody could convict you,” he joked.

Joked?  I don’t think so.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.