You’re Not the Boss of Me

April 13, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Oklahoma Republican Congressman (you’re already cringing, aren’t you?) Markwayne Mullin had a town hall meeting in his district, where is was reminded that we pay his salary.

That just pissed him off.  He was spitting nails and sawing steel.

“You say you pay for me to do this? That’s bullcrap,” Mullin said at the town hall in Jay, Okla., according to a video of the incident.

“I pay for myself. I paid enough taxes before I got here and continue to through my company to pay my own salary. This is a service. No one here pays me to go,” he added.

After constituents pushed back, Mullin reiterated that being a lawmaker is not “how I make my living.”

When he calmed down and realized a day later that he sounded like a real butthole (plus, he couldn’t explain why he takes the salary we give him), he had his poor little spokeswoman tell everybody …

“The congressman reiterates in the video that his work as the representative of the Second District of Oklahoma is a service,” Lawrence said.

“His aspiration is to be a career legislator and not a career politician. He is not, nor does he ever aspire to be, a career politician. His priority will always be to serve his constituents to the best of his ability.”

And the difference between a career politician and a career legislator would be …. spelling?

The best I can figure is that the congressman thinks he’s doing his constituents a favor by screwing them.

I think he attended the Sean Spicer School of ‘Splainin’ Things.

 

Good Morning, Lady Karma of Hypocrisyville

March 22, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The former chair of the Colorado Republican Party and current rightwing talk radio host (translation: he’s so unsexy that he couldn’t get laid at the Chicken Ranch with a hen under each arm and a fifty dollar bill taped to his forehead), has had a visit from the Karma Fairy.

Steve Curtis spend a portion of his radio show before the November election screaming about voter fraud.

“It seems to me,” Curtis said in the 42-minute segment, “that virtually every case of voter fraud I can remember in my lifetime was committed by Democrats.”

There was “something about being a Democrat,” he said, that made people prone to criminal behavior. At multiple points, the two brought up fraudulent mail-in ballots and “double voting” specifically.

Yeah, he’s been accused of voter fraud.  Here he is, a self-described Tea Party Patriot, misusing mail-in ballots.

It seems that Curtis filled out his ex-wife’s ballot and mailed it in for her because she had divorced him and moved to South Carolina.  She called Colorado to find out how she could vote and they told her that her completed ballot had already been mailed.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Trump Found Texas

February 07, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Asset forfeiture is a damn mess in Texas.  Law enforcement can seize the property of those arrested for a crime and have not been found guilty.  That means that they can take your stuff without due process.

Law enforcement says it really, really helps them with convicting drug dealers and terrorists.

Yeah, but … it would also help them convict me if I was arrested with trumped up (see what I did there?) charges. If they took all my assets, I couldn’t hire a lawyer or an investigator, eat actual food before trial, or pay the electricity bill.

The sheriff of Rockwall County, Texas (think suburb of Dallas) went to the White House and met with Trump.  Trump loves asset forfeiture and, coincidently, so does the sheriff.

Trump announced to the public at this meeting that he would like to know the name of the state senator supporting reforming asset forfeiture …

 “President Donald Trump invited the sheriff of a small Texas County to ‘destroy’ the career of a state senator who sought to ban a controversial law enforcement practice by naming the lawmaker during a White House meeting.”

The issue is being debated in the Texas State Senate. Republican State Senator Konni Burton and Democratic State Senator Juan “Chuy” Hinojosa are the two people leading this fight in the Texas Senate.

Being that Konni represents a district near the sheriff’s county, and she is the Republican fighting for due process, it’s most likely that Konni is the one who Trump wants to destroy. Of course, Konni is a woman so destroying her puts another notch in Trump’s belt.

Sumbitch.

Look, I am no Konni Burton cheerleader. She’s anti-choice and kisses up to Greg Abbott, but for Trump to use the White House to “destroy” a damn state senator he doesn’t even know, is … yeah, crazy. It’s crazy.

I don’t think Trump meant Democratic State Senator Chuy Hinojosa.  Chu is a damn American hero and Trump couldn’t touch him with a fifty foot pole. In fact, Chuy might use “Trump wants to destroy me” on his campaign literature.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

I’m Not Getting Paid. Are Your Getting Paid? Who the Hell is Getting Paid.

January 30, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Yeah, he wishes.

Republican Colorado Senator Cory Gardner has been getting a mess of phone calls.

Gardner said his office is getting so many calls and emails, his has staff assigned to do nothing except respond to them. In one night, his office received 3,000 voicemails. Many of them were from what Gardner calls paid protesters from other parts of the U.S.

Paid protestors?  Yeah, whistle past that graveyard, Buddy.

I guess he meant to say “pissed off protestor” and it just came out “paid protestors.”

To their credit, the Denver teevee station adds this —

Editor’s Note: CBS4 has asked Sen. Cory Gardner’s office for evidence of out-of-state paid protesters calling the office, and CBS4 plans to follow up on the story this week.

Bless Cory’s heart, Hillary carried Colorado.  So, you know, you might give him a call.  His Denver office number is (303) 391-5777.  You might let him know you’re not being paid.

 

The Logical Result from One Party Rule in Texas – Freezing in the Dark

January 05, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Sumbitches

Thanks, Republicans for your great leadership.  Shutting down Lite-Up Texas, which helped poor Texans keep the lights and heat on was a GREAT idea, right?

UPDATED: Running Start: GOP Dismantles Office of Congressional Ethics

January 02, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Congress

UPDATE:  As Juanita Jean has already pointed out, Congressional Republicans reversed themselves on dismantling the Office of Congressional Ethics after withering criticism from everyone including Cheeto Jesus.  An embarrassing start to what promises to be an embarrassing Congressional session.

Oh, and BTW – Best Tweet of the Day:

Well, we now know how this is going to go.  In it’s first action of the new Congress, Republicans dismantled the independent Office of Congressional Ethics which was put in place after the Jack Abramoff scandal.  You remember Jack, don’t you?  He was the guy who confessed to multiple counts of corruption during the GWB administration leading to the conviction of 21 officials all the way up to the White House.  I guess we don’t need no oversight anymore, yes?