Ruger is coming out with a new pistol in honor of US Senators and Representatives.

It will be named the “Congressman”.

It doesn’t work and you can’t fire it.

Thank you, Sue.

Okay, Local Sport’s Fans.

Rumor has it that State Rep. Charlie Howard, who consistently ranks as the most conservative member of the Texas House, which takes some damn hard effort, is resigning on August 2nd and endorsing Rick Miller for his seat.

Rick Miller is the current chairman of the county Republican Party, general thug, and total poopie del pollo.  If anything, we’d be jumping from the frying pan into the fire.  Rick Miller sends other people to do his dirty deeds because it’s too much of a weenie to stand on his own.  Yeah, I do not like him.    He’s a bully and a wimp all in one neat little package.  And, I’d be proud to have that printed on my tombstone.  “Here Be Juanita.  She Thinks Rick Miller is a Damn Bully.”

Rick Miller: Thug

So, what will happen is this.  There will be a special election for the seat in November.  The candidates have to come from Charlie’s old district, not his new one.

A special election is a free for all.  There is no primary election, but the official parties may endorse candidates.  Everybody gets in the race and the highest vote getter wins.  The Republicans will eat each other alive.  So, there’s a fair to decent chance that a Democrat can come out on top for the run-off.

I’m not saying that I’m getting involved, but I will be the person standing on the street corner handing out back-stabbing knives to Republicans in Charlie’s district.  Oh hell, who am I fooling?  I’m in Charlie’s new district so I’m gonna be right in the middle.

Oh no.

Now he’s done it.  He’s overheated hell.

In the wake of last week’s massacre in Norway, U.S. conservative commentator Glenn Beck on Monday compared the summer camp where most of the 76 victims died to the Hitler Youth organization of Nazi Germany.

Oh Glen.  Oh no.

Beck said the camp “sounds a little like, you know, the Hitler Youth or whatever. Who does a camp for kids that’s all about politics? Disturbing.”

However, politically-oriented camps are being organized in several U.S. states by chapters of the “9/12 Project” — an organization founded by Beck himself in 2009.

The Colorado 9/12 Project hosted a “Patriot Camp” for kids in grades 1-5 earlier this month, featuring programs on “our Constitution, the Founding Fathers, and the values and principles that are the cornerstones of our nation.”

Oh Glen.  If lightening strikes your zipper tomorrow, at least you’ll know that you hit the pinnacle of bad taste and hypocrisy  in one big ole swoop of the echo chamber where most people have a brain.

Children died, Glen.  And you seek to take political advantage when there’s guilt all over your pointy little head.

On Friday, anti-Islamist blogger Pamela Geller pounced on news of a massacre in Oslo. “Jihad in Norway?” she asked. She posted a second item—”You cannot avoid the consequences of ignoring jihad”—and linked to a previous one: “Norway: ALL Rapes in Past 5 Years Committed by Muslims.” As the Oslo body count grew, she piled on: “if I hear another television or radio reporter refer to muhammad as ‘the Prophet Muhammad,’ I think I am going to puke. He’s not your prophet, assclowns.”

Then things went horribly wrong. It turned out that the suspected terrorist in Norway wasn’t a Muslim. He hated Muslims. And he admired Geller.

In a manifesto posted online, the admitted killer, Anders Behring Breivik, praised Geller. He cited her blog, Atlas Shrugs, and the writings of her friends, allies, and collaborators—Robert Spencer, Jihad Watch, Islam Watch, and Front Page magazine—more than 250 times. And he echoed their tactics, tarring peaceful Muslims with the crimes of violent Muslims.

And you’re moving to Texas?  What’s the problem?  No other place big enough to hold all your stoopid?

Thanks to David and Petey’s Mom for the heads up.

Well, ain’t this just a bucket of cute?

It appears that in Rick Perry’s world that states’ rights trumps sinful behavior.

At an event in Aspen, Perry said, “Our friends in New York six weeks ago passed a statute that said marriage can be between two people of the same sex. And you know what? That’s New York, and that’s their business, and that’s fine with me.” He continued, “That is their call. If you believe in the 10th Amendment, stay out of their business.”

Juanita grew up in Texas.  She did not know that damn yankee was two separate words until she went to college.  She knows that Rick Perry has a very suspicious view of New York and California.  He’s not real comfortable with Ohio either.  Or Colorado, come to think of it.  And … whoa, wait a minute, he’s not comfortable with any other state.  He wanted to secede from the union and be President of Texas.  That’s hardly neighborly.

Anyway, up steps the religious right and has themselves a hissy fit over sin in anydamnplace.

Gary Bauer, president of the conservative advocacy group American Values, expounded on those sentiments in an interview.

“His comments were inartful and disappointing. The 10th Amendment and states’ rights is very important to conservatives, but it’s not our highest value,” Bauer said. “There are some things so fundamentally wrong that we have not left those things up to the states.”

That’s right.  They believe in states rights unless it’s something they don’t want you doing in the privacy of your home.  Especially if it might have something to do with s-e-x.  No, s-e-x is not a states right issue.  It’s a religious right issue.  God wants it that way.  And so did the Founding Fathers when they specifically said, “None of that gay stuff, okay?”

So, here’s my question.  If a two same gender people get married in New York, and then they move to Texas like everybody eventually does, will Rick Perry recognize their marriage?  That’s the problem with states rights – people just won’t sit still.

Personally, I think it’s city rights.  My city has 5 flower shops, a perfectly good VFW hall, 4 bakeries, two ladies who make Quinceañera dresses, and the best damn beauty shop on the planet.  We welcome gay marriage.  We know how to put on a show.

Here’s my plan.

I’m not going to pay my Master Card bill this month. I need to cut back on my spending so I’m going to start by not paying my Master Card bill. That, obviously, will make me spend less as soon as I decide what I need to quit spending on. That’s how I’m going to do it.

Now, I know that not paying my Master Card bill will ruin my credit rating and I might not be able to eat next month but, dammit, I have to start somewhere and not paying my bills seems like a good place to start.

I think I’ll cut back on spending for my medicine and a car to drive to work. I might get sick and lose my job but I just gotta quit spending. I’ll keep my yacht and my vacation to Europe because I deserve those things because I’m …. Well, you know, white and educated.

This is a good plan. John Boehner would agree.

Let’s all quit paying our bills. It’s the Republican way.

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That’s what the hell I want to know.

When did we vote for Rush Limbaugh?

Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) outlined the GOP’s debt-ceiling plan to conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh on Monday before showing it to his conference.

On Monday during his radio program, Limbaugh talked about the call he received from Boehner. Limbaugh’s support of the plan would be advantageous to Republicans because it might help rally the conservative base.

And he even blathers on to say that Obama is upset.

Limbaugh said Boehner told him he was working on the plan with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.). He also said President Obama was irritated at being left out.

“Boehner told Obama that, Obama got aggravated even more that he’s been left out of that,” Limbaugh said.

Do not tell me that this is not 100% politics.  Some fat slob chicken drug crook is making policy for this country?  Hell, if you’re going to ask a druggie for advice, I’d go with Keith Richards.  At least he can play guitar.

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And if it’s a slob you’re after, Jabba the Hut is looking for work.

I swear to heck and back that if you walked into a room with Boehner and Limbaugh, you’d be hard pressed to identify either one of them as a member of the human race.  I’m in the beauty business.  I know about these things.  You’d be looking for their spaceship illegally parked outside.  You know you would.