Yes, Charlie Howard is a Very Old Short White Man

January 28, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized


The State Representative from Sugar Land, Tom DeLay’s best friend Charlie Howard, is all about keeping government out of business and our private lives, unless, of course, it’s your uterus or his gun.

“Bless Charlie’s heart, he’s short, he’s old and he needs a weapon to feel like a real man.  And, double bless his heart, he thinks you’re impotent, too,” Juanita says with uncommon compassion for old short white men with an attitude.

“Charlie, who hollers all the time about government intervention in private enterprise, now wants government to own private enterprise – at least in the parking lot.”

“Here’s the deal, our state doesn’t have any money.  We are in a budget crisis, but Charlie found something far more important to occupy his time,” she smiles.

Today District 26 State Representative Charlie Howard cosponsored House Bill 681, which would allow Texans to leave their lawfully owned firearms in their privately owned and locked vehicles. Many companies with Texas operations have adopted “No Firearms” policies that extend beyond the physical workplace to include employee parking lots.

Yeah, yeah, he only owns one shirt

“Well, ain’t that handy!  Now when an employee gets pissed off, he only has to go to his trunk in the parking lot to fill the workplace with more lead than a sinker factory,” she sees that Charlie is now pro-shoot-your-workmates-made-simple.

“I wanna know who is going to accept liability for some nut shooting up his co-workers in the employee parking lot,” she asks.  “Certainly not Charlie.”

“One more thing,” she wonders. “How much help is a firearm when it’s locked in the trunk?  I don’t have much experience with this, but most bad guys aren’t willing to wait until you pop the trunk and retrieve your gun to make it a fair fight.  I could be wrong about that.  We could have a nicer breed of bad guys in Texas.”

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