Them Ole Big Haired Wimmen
I should not write about this. There are some things that Republicans do that make even me queazy.
This is one of them. However, since every damn one of you sent me this story and it does involved a bleached blonde big haired woman, I kinda feel a duty to report this.
Bobby R. Burchfield is a fancy pants Republican lawyer. He helped George W with the 2000 Florida recount, and now he’s an ethics lawyer for Donald J Trump, which I’m sure keeps him plenty busy.
Burchfield’s wife, Teresa Jo, apparently got bored. Real bored.
Teresa Jo Burchfield was arrested Tuesday afternoon in a parking lot adjacent to the Fauquier County Adult Detention Center after deputies found her in the backseat of a car with an inmate/trustee at the jail, according to sheriff’s office Sgt. James Hartman.
Burchfield and the 23-year-old inmate were having sex in the car, according to a criminal complaint filed at Fauquier County General District Court.
Not only that, but Teresa Jo was giving the inmate clothes, vitamins, cigarettes, and “other unauthorized items.”
One of the customers here, a lawyer who shall remain unnamed unless he pisses me off, sent the story with a note that said, “I shouldn’t send this. I actually feel sorry for the guy.” I had to think for a minute. Which one – the inmate or the husband?
I’m guessing it was the husband because only a lawyer could feel sorry for another lawyer. The rest of us think she was just moving up the social scale.
Wow. Many, many questions here. Why was the inmate allowed out of the jail? Why didn’t Teresa Jo wait until dark to have sex in the back seat of her car? (Even teenagers know that.) What was in those “vitamins?” (Got to get me some.) Is the phrase “other unauthorized items” code for “cake with a file in it?”
And how in the hell did Teresa Jo meet this guy? Like you said, JJ, maybe she thought he was a real catch after being married to a lawyer. I was married to a lawyer and am now married to a retired dentist. Make of that what you will.
As they said on “Seinfeld,” the only difference between a sadist and a dentist is the sadist has newer magazines.
1Strange are the ways of True Love.
2Nice to see the lower class sticking it to the 1 percent.
3Geez some inmates will do anything for a pack of cigarettes.
4Now that is funny, it is a laugh when anyone is caught with their pants down! Remember when having sex in the back seat of a car make sure it is dark. Basic rule, I thought everyone knew that.
5This is too funny. She’s prolly a “xtian” too. I guess I’ll have to get back inline to hell for enjoying the foolishness of others.
6TexasTrailerParkTrash are you attempting to lead me into unchartered waters where Mama lurks with a bar of soap? Probably not, so I’ll just stow my ‘fun’ answers and go legit.
Inmate wasn’t actually an inmate. He was in a county jail, not prison. He had trustee status meaning too poor to post bail, but otherwise not considered a threat to society or a flight risk. So while other jailed are locked up, he had earned privileges to wander about to take out the trash and perform other perimeter duties. Poor guy, in his defense, maybe he thought that meant make out with the trash.
Wait until dark? Even the jailed with trustee status have rules to obey. So probably he was limited to outside trash duty after the “evening” meal. Meals in facilities tend to run at the convenience of shift changes, so that could have been as early as 4pm.
“other unauthorized items” probably something as ‘innocuous’ as a cellphone. Lad needs a way to connect his main squeeze with his drug connections.
At a guess Teresa Jo met her boy toy because he was employed by her hubby. Pool cleaner? Lawn & garden maintenance? Courier? Or, maybe she met him while he was bagging her groceries at the local supermarket. Then again, Fauquier County is in Virginia close enough to certain states that the toy might be her cousin.
7Bobby Burchfield!
https://www.kslaw.com/people/Bobby-Burchfield
8Fred Farklestone, good catch!
“Bobby Burchfield specializes in complex trials and appeals for major corporations, particularly in C-suite level antitrust, securities and contract disputes.”
What The Hey? From Fred’s link this guy opens his selling page like that’s a good thing. Not even dog whistle, that’s screaming bullhorn for “guilty, I’m your guy.”
If in doubt check out the C-Suite Cheat Sheet: https://www.advisory.com/research/health-care-industry-committee/members/resources/cheat-sheets/antitrust
9New constitutional amendment here in New Mexico that prohibits keeping someone in jail on non violent offenses just because they can’t afford bail. But I don’t think having an affair with the defense lawyers wife is included in that benefit.
10I know I’m old and all, but I remember being 23 vaguely, and that woman is not doable.
11Virginia Is For Lovers. Says so on the license plates.
(And you can pronounce that county name any way that fits this story. *snicker*)
12Micr my friend, while I am little closer to 12 years of age than you, not even at 12 would she have been “doable.” Not her age, but looks like a load of drugs there as in “nobody home.” Trust me; at 12 a well healthy 53 year old woman would have been “doable.” Then again, I didn’t meet Jane until I was 14 and had taken several quantum leaps in both maturity and standards.
13Dear Miss Juanita,
Is that blonde a customer of yours? If so, it’s time to hang up your curling iron.
Regards,
14Craig
Craig Waters, too funny! But from all appearances in that mugshot (mugshots tend to be not so flattering), the curling iron was innocent. The “fried look” is more probably ascribed to the frying effects of drugs.
15The inmate was a trustee and allowed to work outside. I guess, from the looks of his lady friend, work would be applicable when it comes to getting face to face with that.
But, I feel no sorrow for any family values wingnuts w/o family values. And the trustee was receiving contraband so he probably loses his trustee status.
16I X-pect that Blonde knew the young man before he went to jail and was unable to get the money from her husband to pay his bail. Or, maybe she liked he was in jail and able to meet her for backseat rumblings, and maybe risking getting caught made it more exciting. Look at her; the poor dear apparently doesn’t have the funds for a visit to TWMDBS, much less a complete makeover by the world famous Juanita Jean.
17Since it always seems to be projection with conservatives always, when the GOP claims they are the party of “family values” does that mean they really mean the Democrats are?
18WTF? HFS! OMFG! LOL!
Just when you begin to think the Rethug sub-species cannot push the ‘Abnormal Predilections and Deviance’ scale any lower, one of them humps it a bit further down slope.
(PS: actually sort of seems that this one probably has some real, actual mental/psych problems…hope they don’t have any kids (for several reasons))
19Reminds me of an old Austin Lounge Lizards song: He’s Just a Friend
20“Other unauthorized items.”
So that’s what the kids are calling it these days!
21ROFL! Rough crowd today at the WMDBS. Give the lady a break! Really for 53 and with a possible drug habit, her hair doesn’t look that bad in a mugshot. Particularly given the rear seat put away wet exercise before the picture.
As for Bobby, what Fred Farklestone linked to is key to understanding the situation.
22Check out what’s in the on deck circle for family values from yer Wonkette. https://wonkette.com/622726/broward-county-gop-secretary-once-beat-a-girl-half-to-death-with-a-claw-hammer-one-time-is-that-a-big-deal
This guy is an elected official and will not resign. Apparently beating a woman with a hammer is some sort of initiation into wingnut society.
23Lower class sticking it to the 1%.
24Sam, If I weren’t a Quaker I’d steal that line.
I’m wiping the smirk off my face right now.
Excuuuu-uuuse me!
I’m a Democrat. I’m a lawyer.
I agree with the comment that only lawyers ‘feel sorry’ for other lawyers; but … an inmate is social climbing for a lawyers wife?
Only if the lawyer is a republi-con or -can’t.
SMU does graduate some Democrats.
25I see no one has commented on “Trump’s ethics lawyer”. Hard to know where to start huh? Me too.
26e platypus onion, while that guy should certainly shock anyone, we live with the fact that nearly 60 million people voted for a self confessed pussy grabber. Amirite Morning Joke, intern killer?
Among those numbers are way too many elected snacilbupeR like Lyin’ Ryan and Mitch the soulless turtle.
Moral? Standards? That ship sailed before Ollie North hit the History Channel.
Old Quaker (Colorado), Fred Farklestone provided an excellent link regarding Bobby. And, in an indirect way all comments regarding Teresa Jo land center stage at Bobby’s feet. Sort of like Messy Drumpf and Donnie. Yeah, they married them, but at what a cost?
27My momma told me that when you marry a man for his money you earn every nickle you get.
So I guess that means she can’t go to church anymore?
28WA Skeptic, who she? Bobby’s wife or Donnie’s hostage Messy?
Or, maybe even the conflicted Sarah Huckajeebus Sandbag.
In my defense, I love women, especially my wife. But I must admit to finding snacilbupeR women extremely confusing to the point of thinking that perhaps they are victims of Stockholm Syndrome rather than greedy gold diggers st00pid beyond belief. Certainly there’s some middle ground between those two stark alternatives. Unfortunately it’s between swampland and quicksand.
29Could be this was the only way she could get a message through to her clueless husband that he was paying way the hell too damn much attention to the Barking Yam and none to her! I bet 50% of his friends and family feel sorry for him and the other 50% of that cohort are just too damned embarrassed for words. First he signs up with the craziest chunk of DNA ever to set foot in the White House and then he gets this sloppy topping of publicity whip creme on his life. And I bet he doesn’t think he should just out of sheer decency call it a day and ditch Orange Foolious and see about saving whats left of his marriage. If he doesn’t backtrack I bet she ends up writing a book and it gets turned into a made for teevee movie!
30E.P.O.: The key to successful inclusion is the choice of the instrument. A ball peen just won’t do. It doesn’t give the prospective repugnantcan the opportunity to show the proper restraint. Whereas a good ole claw hammer allows for the temptation to use the wrong side of the hammer, which would be cruel. Bad form.
31OMG! I went to high school with Bobby Burchfield. Debate champ.
32I certainly never thought I’d say this but, at my age 53 sounds pretty young and perky! Even with a bad coif. Is it really criminal to do the nasty in the backseat of a car? I guess Im lucky to be out and free after all those nights during high school in the 60s. Well that sounds like bragging, I guess if I had to write it down it really wouldn’t be that much. It was pretty fun though!
33RE: Hammers
I would suggest a joiner’s mallet. Leaves less of a mark if that’s important. A peen hammer usually hasn’t enough weight such that you have to hit pretty hard for desired effect. Oh oh a lineman’s hammer would work well too. Would leave a big ole mark though.
BTW, my little bride read a previous post. Afterwards, she suggested I change my moniker from Micr to “Jacques Merde”. I don’t know why. 🙂
34Oldymoldy, you reminded me of Diana on the British sitcom “Waiting for God” explaining that older people deserve a sex life. “Just because we no longer fancy it in the back of a Mini with one leg out the window and the other one over the driver’s shoulder… My goodness, that was fun….”
35Remember a somewhat lecherous old (grand)uncle sometimes bragging on his exploits taking a Model-T into the woods.
36Maggie-too embarrassing for words hit home with Eric Bolling yesterday. The disgraced Fake Noize loser and former parent.People need to remember their careless, immoral actions have unforseen consequences.
I have never liked Bolling, but he has my deepest sympathy in the loss of his only child.
37Maggie, please don’t take this wrong. I used your line to introduce a rather off topic topic. I was not suggesting you had said anything wrong. 🙂
38The sad thing is, now that the “family values” crowd is actually showing what is important to themselves, progressives will still not get credit for wanting to support real families. …Like showing condolences for the Bolling family…
I don’t know why the kid died, but families across our country are having this happen on a daily (hourly?) basis due to opioids. Maybe it’s time for progressives to grab this as an issue to show we are for effective government that makes a difference in people’s day to day lives…
39EPO, never fear! Its all good. And I still believe that Miss Back Seat Whoopee of 2017 was really just trying to tell her husband that after all his bad choices, she had totally had it with him.
40“Just because we no longer fancy it in the back of a Mini with one leg out the window and the other one over the driver’s shoulder… My goodness, that was fun….”
I actually am not familiar with “waiting for god” but the situation is certainly familiar, altho at quite a distance now. Just thinking of it causes cramps in my glutes!
41Bless yer sweet heart, Maggie. I can breathe again. Just add this to the list of stuff wingnuts are incompetent at like governing.
42Not to hijack the thread, but Big Pharma needs to be investigated for pushing opioids by the millions in small counties in backwoods USA. And executed when found guilty because korporate amerika is people with the same right to be executed.
43If she was quick witted she could have claimed it was a disaster preparedness drill they were doing called Twister without the plastic floor covering and instructions. They had to exercise scantily clad due to excessive heat from global warming. That should cover the bases.
44e platypus onion, your explanation is plausible. Maggie and others were on to something, too. Although they probably stated it way too politely to penetrate old Bobby Burchfield’s thick skull. I’d give it a whack, but I’m a-feared the plain talking necessary to penetrate his calcified cranium would take me way beyond the limits of Mama’s patience.
45epo: Yes, big Pharma. But don’t forget those doctors who wrote all of those prescriptions… and got their commissions. Same thing happened with antibiotics. Calling them drug pushers may not be an unfair appraisal.
46Bobby Burchfield is a Trustee of Wake Forest University. I guess she’s just got a thing for trustees. Can’t wait to see the pictures of the muscle-bound, workout pill poppin’ inmate/trustee.
47Its official. She is Floozy of the Year inasmuch as she has made it into the pages of the WaPo. We are watching for further news on husband. Bets are about 50 – 50 that he says something like she is a poor sick woman who needs help and everyone’s understanding or divorce court here we come.
48This is one of the two 23 year Olds currently in FCJ. He is the only one who’s crime would qualify him for trustee status (at the jail, not, presumably, Wake Forest)
Not that this is the guy, just a coincidence that he’s a 23 y/o in FCJ, ya know. https://m.facebook.com/DrippyTrippy23/about?nocollections=1
The inmate in question is undoubtedly now in the County Jail Hall of Fame and is probably even getting high fives from the gads and the warden.
49Corrected links
https://m.facebook.com/DrippyTrippy23
https://m.facebook.com/mtapscott17?ref=content_filter
Nice confederate flag posting, too.
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