TFG Draws a Swing State Challenger
As if he didn’t have enough to worry about, TFG (The Flatulent Guy) has drawn another opponent in Georgia’s Presidential Election this November.
You might have heard of Him. He’s in a well-read book in…in…what the heck…in The Bible Belt.
Yeshua Jesus Christ.
And here I always thought His middle name started with an H.
It’s all copascetic. He has His own FEC ID number and everything. That number is not to be confused with His inmate number, which is so similar to His Flatulence’s Fulton County inmate number that it’s not funny:
Rumor has it that Yeshua was held for a few days by the Romans, in Rome, Georgia, for consorting with tax collectors and prostitutes, or as Yeshua calls them, publicans and harlots.
Or as they say in Georgia, revenuers and fancy gals.
The Von Shitzenpantz campaign has been mum about this latest obstacle in TFG’s effort to regain his rightful place in The Swamp (as he puts it).
There are two rules to follow in any given election: 1) Ballot Placement, and 2) Name Recognition.
Jeez, I wonder who evangelical voters will notice first.
I vaguely recall a Mark Twain story from when he was a printer’s apprentice. The paper would publish the local preacher’s Sunday sermon each Monday, but they were running short on the letters s and i. So the editor just put “JC” everywhere the name Jesus Christ appeared. When he saw this, the preacher went ballistic, shouting that you don’t abbreviate the name of the Lord, it’s an insult, etc.
So the next week’s sermon was printed with the full name: Jesus H. Christ.
As long as we’re being reverent here, there’s claims that the Trump Bible (only $59.95), which includes a copy of the Constitution, omits some of the amendments. Namely, the 13th ending slavery, and the 19th giving women the vote. If so it’s surely an oversight, and not a statement that the MAGAts want to turn back the calendar to 1860 ….
1I hesitate to even mention this, but what if Trump decides to join forces and pick Yeshua Jesus Christ as his VP? With a pre-candidate agreement that proceeds from his autographed New Testament autobiography-biography go directly to Trump?
It’s a twofer – Like Sodom & Gomorrah.
2There is no question, IMO, about who they will notice first. They completely ignore anyone except Jesus H. Trump.
3Happy birthday, Rudy Giuliani
4Happy birthday, Rudy Giuliani
The Arizona attorney general
got a special present just for you
As a former Georgia Girl myself, may I just point out that the word is spelled “revenooers”?
5Off topic, sorry. I see dan patrick showed up at the orange baffoon’s fraud and tax cheating trial to pontificate, certainly paid for by TX taxpayers. Of course he totally ignores that Trumpf broke the law, again and again, not to mention his 2 minutes with an adult entertainment star where he paid her off to keep quiet (so he could keep the women’s vote). I guess patrick is getting in line to be the VP. Couldn’t tell if he got to get up close and personal with trumpf. Hard to tell from the picture if he had ass orange around his mouth. Where does TX find these idiots.
6Mr. Christ was born in Bethlehem, which is now in Israel. He is not qualified to run for president.
7