Tacky is Back!

January 02, 2018 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I cannot think of any better way to open the New Year than to be as tacky as possible.

So, there’s New Year’s Eve on the town.


Louise Linton models the latest from the Swiffer Duster Collection while Steve Mnuchin dazzles in a vintage Country Club Waiter ensemble.

And. who wore it better?


It’s swell to be back.  I’ll be taking it slowly and I deeply appreciate your emails.  However, please don’t overwhelm me right now because I’m only about 50%, and please don’t send me a link with nothing about what it is.

Thanks for the heads up to the Hoarse Whisperer.

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30 Comments to “Tacky is Back!”

  1. e platypus onion says:

    Welcome back. if you are tired of heat, my area was 21 below this morning with a windchill of 45 below.

    I am happy as heck I no longer can feed cattle at all let alone when it is this cold. Supposed to be 14 above. Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

  2. Mnuchin is missing his ice cream push cart.

  3. @Miz JJ

    Welcome back. Try to overlook the smoke, the margarita machine and the porta-potties in the parking lot. It was all uh… some other patron’s fault. And New Year’s Eve. Yeah That.

    I just love Munchkin’s ambition. But at 52, all that arm candy will prove tough to tote after a while.

  4. Except for the fabric, color, style and fit it’s a nice dress in that it covers what anyone may find fully revealed elsewhere on the internet. Whomever told Melania that that dress is attractive and looks good on her outright LIED. The poor thing (not!) reminds me of a blow-up doll with execrable taste.

    OT but interesting- I found the restoringross.com blog by accident when looking for some remodeling ideas. This post talks about some of his experiences actually working with trump*. It’s a long read so just scroll down to the “Two Terrifying Stories” section if you don’t want to read the rest, though the first sections talk about how he has coped this past year, and the section “And A Year Later” seems to offer a glimmer of hope. https://restoringross.com/2017-the-year-end-update-the-ross/

    I lift a glass of sparking water to all you wonderful people here at the Salon and to JJ for making it all happen.

  5. Glad you’re back! Hope you continue to feel better each day.

    Melania. When I watched the video clip of her husband bloviating whilst she stood there squinting and occasionally parting her glossy lips, I couldn’t believe what her thought processes might have been when she chose that dress.

    I know she’s single handedly brought back the sleeve (bigly) after Michelle Obama had the audacity to go without, so I understand that part, even though it always looks like she’s wearing two deflated mylar balloons on her upper arms.

    But the shiny, pink fabric? Oy. They could hang her from the ceiling and use her as a disco ball. Her stylist should be taken out and given forty lashes with Donald’s overly large tie.

  6. Jere Armen says:

    The Easter bunny wins. Whatever else you can say about Melania’s dress, I’m sure expensive is in the mix. But then, we have a clothes horse for FLOTUS and she has the money to spend on it.

    JJ/Susan: sending virtual hugs for recovery. Glad to hear things are improving.

  7. WA Skeptic says:

    #1: She looks like a strip tease without the tease. No bulge or divot left undefined. Good grief, lady, didn’t nobody ever tell you to leave a little mystery???

    #2: OMG. Someone’s shower curtain and a uni-boob. What more could a wealthy woman want???

    Looks like a job for Stacy and Clinton.

  8. I’m so happy that you are back. Stay well.

    I thought the dress was not terribly attractive on Melania, but those sleeves were down right ugly, and she looks good in almost everything. Not this. I’d expect more from a $5,000 dress.

  9. Is the Mnunchin woman really that thin? Reminds me of some seriously retouched magazine photo. Not a good look.

    I guess it’s not popular in some circles to say, but I rather like Melania (and feel sorry that she’s married to that baboon even though it looks at times like she’s enjoying herself). Nevertheless, I have to agree with you all, it’s one ugly dress.

  10. And so happy you are back❣️

    A day without Juanita Jean Herownself is a day without sunshine.

  11. You must get better by baseball season so you can help the Astros repeat!

  12. e platypus onion says:

    Personally, I have seen better feed sack dresses and duct tape designers have done much better work than what Melania is inhabiting. Michelle Obama she ain’t6. Fashion conscious she ain’t, either. Us iowans know fashion.

  13. @Paul

    YES! A peat and a re-peat for the other Texas team!

    For my sad sack Texas Rangers, the magic day is February 14 🙂 2018.

    There’s new grass on the field etc etc

  14. AliceBeth says:

    It is hard to believe that a wealthy woman with a very good figure could spend a lot of money to make her look matronly. However, Melania managed to do that. There is nothing flattering about that dress. I loved the Easter Bunny comparison.

  15. Jane & PKM says:

    That party has the diminutive fingerprints of Dolt45 all over it. That king of tacky decided to throw a wtf theme party for the New Year and a cake buffet was the featured food. The ladies drew straws and either fell into their favorite cake or dressed like it.

    Ms. Juanita Jean Herownself, your 50% is better than 100% of most. So please relax and laissez les bons temps rouler.

  16. Linda Phipps says:

    When did tacky ever go away?
    I can’t help but think that Melania’s dress is what it looks like, something wrapped up, to be slowly unwound and then bitten into. It’s truly awful. Mrs. Mnuchin looks like she took a shortcut through the swimming pool.

  17. slipstream says:

    epo: in my little corner of Alaska, it is 46 above this morning. Nice breeze. The sun will be up in about an hour. And the moose feed themselves.

  18. Dear God, The Post is reporting that “Melania glistened in a modest (but not modest at all) sequined Erdem minidress worth about $5,500.” That dress cost $5,500! No word yet on the Swiffer dress!


  19. JJ: Glad you’re back! Take it easy and heal up. Don’t go outside if it’s “cold.” (I think it was about 5° last night here.)

    Both dresses remind me of Christine Lavin’s song:
    “What was I thinking? What was I– blind?
    When I bought this dress I must have been out of my mind….”


  20. lobstershift says:

    We know that Donnie must spend quality time with his hair stylist every morning, but poor Melania seems to have decided just to go with that same wig every day, put on without much of a glance at the mirror. It projects over her forehead as no natural hairline would do, and floats down to her shoulders with no apparent weight or direction. Sad.

  21. Lunargent says:

    Welcome back, JJ! 50% of you is better than 110% of pretty much anybody else.

    1. Regarding Ms. Linton: How hard does a woman that thin have to look to find a dress that’s sooo tight on her? Did she balloon up to a size 4, but insist on squeezing into a size 0? She and Mr. Mnuchin seem intent on displaying the very worst characteristics of the rich, the kind of behavior that during the French Revolution would have ended with them each being a head shorter. They’re profoundly ugly people, inside and out, and shockingly devoid of self-awareness – or taste.

    2. The Bunny wins, hands down. Poor Melania. She looks like an oversized, neglected piece of candy at the bottom of the Easter basket. The rest of the candy is gone, but still nobody wants to unwrap her. I’m sure she didn’t choose this herself; no woman with a shred of taste would. Poor thing – she deserves better. Many people dislike her. But she seems to genuinely love and enjoy children, so I think she’s redeemable.

  22. I neither like nor dislike her but I don’t give Melania as much credit as some of you regarding her outfits, especially her coats. Her coats look like a Carol Burnett spoof where she tears down the drapes to create a dress. And the designer of that dress would be an ‘ I’m sorry but you’re out’ on Project Runway. She definitely needs a new stylist. Did Ms. Mnuchin leave the tags out so everyone could see who her designer is. Talk about people full of themselves.

  23. e platypus onion says:

    I am happy for you and the moose, Slip. 🙂

    Maybe Melania designed the dress with her degree in architecture it took one year to obtain.

  24. I’m so happy to have you back Miz JJ. Ear splitting grin here, and plenty of patience as you recover your strength. Take your time.

    I’m betting Orange Whore has to approve her clothing since he owns her. (Gaaack!) I have a little more sympathy for Melancholy than the Munchkins. I detest both of them, poster children for rich bitches. They’re no better than Orange Whore. Probably papered their bathroom in sheets of benjamins. (Blech!)

  25. Seriously, a white tux jacket in December? Whatever you do, DO NOT let Sean Connery see the picture of Mnuchin.

  26. e platypus onion says:

    The rich really are different from you and me. THEY”RE FREAKING STRANGE!

  27. Who wore it better? The curtain rod in the shower wore it better.

  28. Oh, and one more thing. Melania’s “dress” is proof of one more thing: Piss off all your gay designer friends and There Will Be Consequences.

  29. Tilphousia says:


  30. A white dinner jacket in December???? What the…?


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