Really? Who Would’ve Suspected That?

July 30, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, so there’s 17 people running for President as Republicans.  Fox news is sponsoring at debate on August 3rd for all seventeen of them, but only the top ten (according to secret mathematics designed by Roger Ailes) will be in the two hour debate at 9:00.  There will also be an hour debate for the bottom seven at 5:00.

So, who will be in the top ten is kinda crazy.

Inside Fox, the debate is generating controversy among Ailes’s senior ranks. “There’s total confusion about all of it. The Second Floor is making it up as they go along,” one Fox personality told me, referring to Ailes’s executive suite.

The biggest questions are:

1.  Will it be Rick Perry or John Kasich who become #10?

2.  Will Lindsey Graham, Carly Fiorina, and George Pataki even break the 1% cutoff to be in the 5:00 kid’s table debate?

3.  Who has to stand next to Donald Trump on center stage?  There appears to be much arguing over that.  Face it, having Trump in the debate is like the Indy 500 with a drunk driver thrown in for fun.

Get your popcorn, kiddos.  This is gonna be fun!

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25 Comments to “Really? Who Would’ve Suspected That?”


  1. This is one debate that I wouldn’t miss for anything.

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  2. JAKvirginia says:

    I’ve joked about this but it may come down to who scores highest in the always important Evening Gown competition.

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  3. Hollyanna says:

    According to MSNBC, currently Kasich has edged pRick Perry out of the top ten. Stay tuned, all is subject to change–although rumor has it that Roger Ailes favors Kasich. This will be “must see teevee” at its finest. Bring on the salty snacks and pitchers of sangria!

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  4. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    If T-Rump was smart, (which he isn’t after re-opening the bottle that holds Snowbilly Snookie) he’d place a case of bottled water on one side of his podium and a stockpile of donuts on the other side. That would eliminate any debate from Rubio and the Outlaw Jersey Whale. As for Snot Wanker or pRick Perry, just let them talk and eliminate themselves. But of course, I’d only offer 1-7 odds on the T-Rump to resist his urge to interrupt them.

    As for Bush the puffiest and quite possibly the dumbest Bush, I’d suggest asking him just what he said to $Rmoney to push Mittens and Queen Anne out of their dream of occupying the White House and grazing Rafalca on the lawn.

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  5. Kate oDubhagain says:

    Get your Repubican bingo cards ready!

    Scroll down and be prepared for loads of fun and laughter!

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  6. Oooooo! The lawsuits, the threats from all those who got nosed out of the big kids table for the debate. I especially can envision pRick going ballistic! Oh, the whining, Oh the humanity!

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  7. @Miz JJ:
    You coulda stopped writing after “Okay, so there’s 17 people running for President as Republicans.” and just let the comments fly. Two posts for the price of one!

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  8. I think they should place Trump at a furthest side of stage podium and Chris Christy at the other extreme as these are going to be the most bombastic of speakers. It will be wearing on the rest, plus it allows another extra shot opportunity for which bully, sorry candidate, feels the need to step away from his podium to be more “in the face” of another candidate.

    If we are lucky, 8 candidates will withdraw after being held hostage between yelling matches of Trump and Christie for two hours.

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  9. Old Mayfly says:

    I’ve marked the date.

    Got some nice fresh popcorn kernels, sweet butter, and my very good popper at the ready.

    Left to do: invite friends and chill the beer.

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  10. Wa Skeptic says:

    Since when does a TV station on satellite TV get to decide who is to be a viable candidate for POTUS?

    Talk about corruption.

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  11. Nine debates with a possible three more? Didn’t I hear something once upon a time about limiting the number of debates? Is that kind of like expanding their outreach to minorities and other undesirables?

    I guess that’s 9 p.m. EST, right? Sounds like an entertaining night with a promise of more to come.

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  12. Love the drunk driver analogy, JJ, and I’m definitely quoting it.

    AK, I’m looking for a reduction in the number of debates once they realize that the more of their crazy that people see, the lower their poll numbers drop.

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  13. Survivor, Republican style.

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  14. Here’s a heads-up for y’all: the debate is Aug. 6, not the 3rd.

    As JJ said, the “Kiddie Table” debate for the losers is the same day. Double your pleasure, double your fun.

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  15. Marion (formerly known as MM) says:

    That’s just bizarre. If you’re have two debates the same day anyway…. Or is the idea that some need to be publicly shamed? Isn’t August 6th Hiroshima Day? Why pick that day for Republican debates? Fox News (if it was an actual news station) would certainly have more awareness than this. Oh, what AM I saying?

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  16. Old Fart says:

    One thing that has amazed me for YEARS is how the Repubs are great at railing at the things they Do Not Like, yet are somehow… deficient in explaining the nuts and bolts of how they want to attain the things they promise. If this “debate” isn’t yet another example of the “power of no”, complete with an utter lack of supporting details (or even logic) then this couldn’t be Rupert Murdoch’s Rethuglican Clownfest.

    Hey, I can remember when Republicans were the law and order party, not the give away the store party. My father’s Republican party took part in building the infrastructure that defined American exceptionalism, this generation wouldn’t bother to piss on public property if it caught fire.

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  17. RepubAnon says:

    Why not structure the debates like the college basketball brackets?

    Seriously, why not just have the debate between Roger Ailes and the Koch brothers – rather than their chosen champions?

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  18. W. C. (Pete) Peterson says:

    Last night, during Rachel’s show, I tried adding up the polling percents of the candidates and discovered there’s about 20% missing from the total of 100%. Does that mean “some other guy” is polling even with Donald J.? Who would that “other guy” be?

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  19. maryelle says:

    PKM, the thought of Rubio swilling bottle after bottle of the water and Christie with doughnut sprinkles all over his face made me laugh out loud.
    And Star’s vision of Trump and Christie yelling at each other for two hours, while the other numbnuts cringed and tried to get a word in edgewise promise must-see TV.
    How disappointing it will be if they all behave themselves, but the odds are…no way.

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  20. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    W. C. (Pete) Peterson the missing 20% who have voted Republicon since they first crawled to now crabbing along in walkers are potential HRC or Bernie voters. They probably wouldn’t admit it. But they are good Americans and they always vote. Everyone in the Klown Kar offends them, so to vote they have no choice but to pull the dastardly “D” lever.

    It’s not too early for Democrats to begin celebrating. My suggestion for a recurring theme song for the national convention is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5D07c0dJuQ

    maryelle, we’re looking forward to so many memorable moments from this first debate. It will save democrats a ton of money, as the campaign ads will write themselves.

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  21. Mary Beth says:

    I am afraid the fun is in anticipating. The actual event will doubtless be much less interesting. Wish it wasn’t so.

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  22. capitol dave says:

    PKM, I am so stealing the Outlaw Jersey Whale.

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  23. RepubAnon says:

    “Seriously, why not just have the debate between Roger Ailes and the Koch brothers – rather than their chosen champions?”

    Thank you for the funny, and honest, suggestion. You nailed it.

    Who is on Team Koch, other than Walker? Who is on Team Ailes? Now I’ve got to think about team nicknames, mascots and colors. Oh boy.

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  24. I don’t have cable TV (just cable internet), so I’ll just see the lowlights on PBS Newshour the next day.

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