Oh Ted. Poor Ted. So Bad.

September 12, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Bless his heart.

Ted Cruz was watching porn on Twitter but his hand accidentally slipped and hit the LIKE button, probably at the most inopportune moment.  I dunno.  Plus, I don’t want to know when he hit the button, if you know what I mean.

Okay, so here’s Ted Cruz, rabidly anti-gay, supported a ban on dildos, is anti-choice, and really doesn’t support birth control.  Plus, he’s the Zodiac Killer.

And here’s bi-sexual porn on Twitter.

They meet and it’s instant likeyness.

Plus, Twitter was all aglow about it, because the porn site thanked Ted for watching.

 

I’m glad Ted has found a hobby.

Thanks to Kyle and Deb for the heads up.

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13 Comments to “Oh Ted. Poor Ted. So Bad.”


  1. Wow. When a person is a up-tight and anally retentive as Ted Cruz must be, sexual jokes alluding to anything but man on top get it over with quick sex must drive Ted crazy. And prolly Heidi as well. I guess a BJ is out of the question now.

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  2. My favorite comment was the one saying it was the only normal thing Ted Cruz has ever done!

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  3. I think he must have been shouting “MOMMY!” during the act of self pleasuring…

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  4. AHAHAAAAAHAHAAA!! Sorry, but I just can’t help laughing because Teddy Boy has fallen from the pedestal he put himself upon. Maybe he’ll slink back to Canada where he came from.

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  5. I guess now we won’t have to worry that Teddy will ever become president…

    Or have the small-handed vulgarian’s comments to Billy Bush normalized this kind of thing?

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  6. JAKvirginia says:

    “Oh my!” said the paisley robe.

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  7. JAKvirginia, nah. Like Heidi, the robe didn’t even notice.

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  8. Can’t you just hear the regretful yowling, ” I did NOT have sex with that hand!”?

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  9. And suddenly, the world seems a little brighter.

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  10. Croozie was doin’ it college in a bottom bunk and was a master-debator according to his ex-college roommate before he became righty-tight @ss, (oops-sorry Momma)puritanical hypocrite who wants the adult toy police monitor in everyone’s bedroom. .

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ted-cruz-roommate-porn-craig-mazin_us_59b7cff4e4b031cc65cc995d

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  11. Just putting “Ted Cruz” and “porn” in the same sentence gives me the dry heaves.

    Well, it didn’t really need the “porn” part to do that.

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  12. What will make you even sicker is the weak-kneed response he made. As usual, somebody else who had access to his account was responsible and will be found and dealt with. He sounded like nobody was going to believe him and boy howdy is he right!

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  13. The Twitterverse was a laff riot with this. It was the most fun I’ve had there since last November.

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