Louie, Louie, Me Gotta Go … To The Bathroom To Upchuck.

June 12, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Oh y’all, Louie Gohmert ain’t taking no summer break.  No, sireeeee, Louie is 12 month nincompoop so there is no rest for his troubled soul.

Let me interrupt this story to tell you something I’ve just noticed.  In Texas, Louie enjoys one name fame. He’s just Louie.  You know, like Madonna or Cher. You say Louie anywhere in Texas and people start cringing because they know they are fixing to hear something crazy. And, God bless him, Louie did not let us down this time.

Louie thinks that Donald Trump can walk on water, which lends slight credence to the fact that Louie is  deacon over at the Baptist Church. This week, Louie kinda singled out James Comey as the antiChrist du jour, which kinda takes the pressure off Barack Obama, Hollywood, and college professors, at least for this week.

Louie has decided that James Comey was fibbing during his testimony …

“I believe I heard him say he did the memo [about possible obstruction of justice] then he talked with some of his colleagues,” Gohmert insisted to Fox News host Julie Banderas. “We need to round up everybody he talked to because they were all conspiring against the president and all conspiring against their oath of office, conspiring against their own employment agreement.”

“We have a conspiracy remaining afoot in the Department of Justice that is going to be out to destroy this president and they’ve got to be fired, if not worse,” he added.

It’s a conspiracy!  It’s a conspiracy! The sky is falling … on a conspiracy!

I love this part: “they’ve got to be fired, if not worse.”  Worse?  What?  Are the stockades on back order?

Okay, here’s the stumbling block. We already have 93 US Attorney positions empty since Sessions fired them all or they left because … oooey … Sessions.  If you fired everybody else, you leave Jeff Sessions alone to do the work of US Attorneys all over this country. If that doesn’t scare your butt, you ain’t got full brain capacity.

If talking to somebody constitutes a conspiracy, then … oh yes, I will say it … shut the hell up, Louie.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

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14 Comments to “Louie, Louie, Me Gotta Go … To The Bathroom To Upchuck.”


  1. Bless his heart, that crop of cotton inside his head between his ears should be harvested and sold. He’s gonna need the money considering his responses to the FEC about what he gets from donors and what he spends. Goes through $$ like water. What a shame!

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  2. Jane & PKM says:

    We can only hope that Loopy Louie has a firm grasp on Lyin’ Ryan’s ankles, when the ‘Good’ Ship Russkie sinks with all snacilbupeR aboard.

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  3. charles phillips says:

    I think Louie should be called in front of a Senate committee, sworn, and made to testify. Not about anything in particular, just what travels through his empty head at the moment. That echo chamber between his ears is bigger’n the Carlsbad Caverns and needs to be thoroughly studied.

    For science and that kinda thing, ya know?

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  4. Sandridge says:

    charles phillips,
    Loopy Louie always reminds me of one of our Texas bat caves.
    A big mostly empty space, with little (Mexican Freetail) bats hanging all over, and loaded up with tons of batshit (which has a peculiar smell). You can just imagine the bats flying in and out of his ears at dawn and dusk.

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  5. Tilphousia says:

    Poor ole Louie. He’s too stoopid to realize that he’s a joke. His little empty head comes out with the most astounding things. He’s creepy, crawly, and slithers. But he’s good for a chuckle or two. However, he doesn’t belong in Congress. Congress is for grown-ups. Which eliminates the entire rethuglican side.

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  6. charles phillips says:

    I wonder if Louie really IS stupid, or is he nutz instead?

    Put brain dead in one hand and batshit crazy in the other, see which one tips the balance.

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  7. Isn’t calling for the firing of people who are investigating a crime considered obstruction of justice? Wonder why Louie is suggesting this

    One wonders what Louieis really worried about………
    Does he have any Russian connections that we should know about?

    Or is he just OK with the the Russians interfering in our elections.
    A POTUS who appears to have deep ties to Russia
    A former NSA director who lied about his Russian connection.

    One would think that Louie is breaking his oath to defend the Constitution.

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  8. I want to apologize to every person I ever screamed “you’re the stupidest human being ever” all the way back to a cootie-ridden blonde girl I adored (but who didn’t adore me back) in first grade. Louie has trumped you all. Sorry. 🙂

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  9. Sandridge, the only problem with that image is that bats are useful predators of mosquitoes and other flying insects. I haven’t seen Louie being useful at anything, except maybe exhaling CO2 for plants, and we’ve got too much of that anyway. And comic relief in a really sad way, but we’d be better off if someone with a brain were sitting in his seat instead.

    Okay, I can see one thing that Louie might be useful for. He’s bald on top. If an eagle were to pick up a turtle and be looking for something to drop it on to crack the shell open, Louie would be useful. Once. Otherwise, I can’t think of anything.

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  10. JAKvirginia says:

    Talking with his “coworkers” was a conspiracy? Louie thinks he stood around the water cooler chatting about this stuff? I believe Comey has been open about who those “coworkers” were. And they are FBI personnel who should be aware of these actions.

    And the “employment agreement” comment is just too precious (stupid?) by half. I’m convinced Louie only reads the headlines, not the articles. And that assumes he reads.

    OT: John McCain admits in a Guardian interview that our “leadership” was better under Obama. OUCH, that must’ve hurt to say.

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  11. two crows says:

    **Sigh**
    Once again the nincompoops remind us that those who forget history are bound to repeat it.

    Somebody already tried making it illegal to criticize the president. He was our second president and he lasted one term. Notably, HIS son who became our 6th president, didn’t try it. HE remembered what had happened to his dad [he was still relegated to one term, though. For other reasons.]

    Fortunately for all of us, this crowd doesn’t even try to take a lesson from history.
    So, buh-bye.
    UNfortunately we can’t be certain there will be a country to save 3 1/2 years from now.

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  12. I believe Trump was originally going to use:

    “You’re fired! If not worse!”

    as the catch phrase for “The Apprentice,” but producers overruled him as it sounded too Louie. Sorry, I meant to say loony. (as if there were a difference)

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  13. Teh Gerg says:

    Sessions is stuck in the ’50’s, and he forgets that the repression and flagrant hyper-conservative government BS of the ’50’s is what caused the revolts and social upheaval of the ’60’s and ’70’s.

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  14. publius bolonius says:

    Rule of thumb: When Louie begins his remarks with “I believe” prepare for dumbassery. How hard is it to Google a fact? Too much believin’ – not enough knowin’.

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