Louie!

June 26, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Louie Gohmert has this all figured out.

Lotsa crazybutt Republicans have said some pretty crazybutt things about the Supreme Court decision, but if there was a crazybutt contest, Louie has a big ole crazybutt to enter.

But Republican Texas congressman Louis Gohmert’s reaction may be the most hysterical of any elected official yet. According to Right Wing Watch, Gohmert argued that as a result of today’s decision, “God’s hand of protection will be withdrawn as future actions from external and internal forces will soon make clear.”

Dude, did you forget 9-11?

Ultimately, Gohmert resigned himself to his nightmare reality, saying, “I will do all I can to prevent such harm, but I am gravely fearful that the stage has now been set.”

Somebody hand that man a cape and some wings.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Louie!”


  1. Ralph Wiggam says:

    Without Gods hand of protection, the earth will crack and water wells will spew natural gas. Oh wait, that’s fracking. Maybe there will be floods in Texas and a drought in California. Yeah, too late again. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen a lot of “God’s hand of protection” anywhere lately.

    That reminds me of what a fortune teller once told me: It’s easier to predict the past than the future.

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  2. Attack from what? Westboro Church? Already there.

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  3. Hollyanna says:

    Heaven help us if we need to depend on Louie for protection from anything! As for God, I think she’s smiling today.

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  4. Carolina says:

    Geeze..just when you think Louie can’t get anymore stupid….. Louie never disappoints!

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  5. e platypus onion says:

    Make that buffalo wings with ghost peppers and a bib and a “Depends”.

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  6. Louie is so far around the bend that he meets himself coming.

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  7. My God, the poor overworked pinata makers will have to pull double shifts. Louie’s will be filled with nuts.

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  8. He does seem to think he has power: “I will do all I can to prevent such harm, but I am gravely fearful that the stage has now been set.” I’ll throw in a couple of dollars to get him some mental help. Oh, wait, I already pay for his health care. Forget the two dollars.

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  9. maryelle says:

    First his demented ego decides what his God will do and then he decides he is so powerful that he can protect who? White dudes just like him. Yes, offering people medical insurance and their right to marry must of course bring on retribution, according to the Republican prophet.

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  10. I don’t know what’s crazier, that Louie thinks he knows what God is going to do, or that Louie believes he has it in his power to “do all I can to prevent such harm.”

    A cape & wings would barely get him started.

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  11. I’m of the opinion that Louie truly believes the stuff he says. No one can be that stupid by design. It has to be real.
    Which is really scary.

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  12. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    “Somebody hand that man a cape and some wings.”

    Better someone should slap a muzzle on him, while someone else takes his blood to check for rabies or whatever else ails Loopy Louie.

    Just checked our marriage certificate. The official seal and all the signatures are still there. As I thought, we’ll survive this same-sex marriage law just fine. My pulse and blood pressure are doing great with the news that another area of discrimination toward my sister and brother citizens has been removed.

    As for Louie? Pin a tail on him. It’ll give him hours of pleasure with something real to chase.

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  13. bud malone says:

    I know what God doesn’t do. I would like to ask Louie – what does God do? As a bible thump-er extraordinaire, he must have some pearls of wisdom that he could share with me.

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  14. Arakasi says:

    Just remember, folks: God was apparently fine with 90 years of slavery in the US, but He’s going to destroy us all if Adam & Steve get married

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  15. Ole Scout says:

    ‘Crazie-butt’ has a new jolt coming. There is no disappearing gel, potion, powder that will enable him to stand guard over morals & ethics which he doesn’t recognize.

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  16. I swear that Louie is a refugee from the old school of acting abroad in this country in the 19th century. There was “low” drama and “high” drama. The only difference is where one pressed the back of their hand to their forehead and the way in which they bowed, backwards or forwards, to indicate drama. Hey, maybe he really is a reincarnated 19th century ham actor! Who knew!

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  17. JAKvirginia says:

    Washington, DC. Friday, 8 pm. Severe storms that were expected have disappeared. Sunny day. Clear, cool evening. Supreme Court building still intact. No earth tremors. Going out to dinner.

    Yes, Louie’s vengeful god does work in mysterious ways.

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  18. RepubAnon says:

    I expect God will smite Oklahoma with more tornadoes, Florida with more hurricanes…

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  19. UmptyDump says:

    Mike, there’s no hope for Louie. He should just bend over and kiss his a** goodbye.

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  20. UmptyDump, Louie has already bent over further than that. To kiss his a** goodbye, he’d have to pull his head out first. Right now it’s stuck up there so far he can probably see out his mouth.

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  21. “God’s hand of protection” doesn’t seem to be working well for Texas. After all, they got Louie as a rep.

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  22. So. . . God didn’t punish America for slavery, or for comitting genocide against Native Americans, or for Jim Crow or the Kardashians, but once people are allowed to marry the person of their choosing, that’s the last straw for Him.

    God must be as crazy as Louie Gohmert!

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  23. “God’s hand of protection will be withdrawn as future actions from external and internal forces will soon make clear.”

    A Christian theocracy, which so many of these Teajadists seem to want, is not the republic the Framers envisioned and it is not the country in which I want to live out the remainder of my life.

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  24. They are saying and the next natural disaster will be blamed on the laws that were passed this week.
    They are self fulfilled prophecies. He will look great to his people that believe these things.
    It will also help him raise money. See? self fulfilling prophecy!!!!!!

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  25. Marcia in CO says:

    Who knew that the LGBT community had such a stronghold on the entire world? If anyone paid attention — the celebrations happened worldwide — not just in America.
    Loopy Louie seems to think he has the power to know all, see all, protect all when, in fact, we all know he knows nothing at all!
    Wonder what poor Louie will do when the LGBT community is actually the majority and the “straights” will be the minority! He’ll have to borrow Ms. Lindsey’s fainting couch!! LOL

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  26. SteveThe Returned says:

    I think Louie Gohmert’s very existence is a sign of what God must think of Texas. We are well and truly screwed.

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