Just Warnin’ Ya

October 29, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

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I got a report this morning from my friends at Houston’s LGBT Political Caucus that one of their members got assaulted yesterday while campaigning at a poll. They warn —

Lately, we’ve all watched as opponents of equality have gotten more aggressive and more violent.From tackling and stomping on rival activists, to actual candidates ordering private security forces to arrest reporters, the thug mentality of the far right has gotten out of control.

Okay, so Juanita is asking me to issue a warning to Tea Party members, too.

“Honey, one of you nincompoops is gonna get all testosteroned-up and think you can shove a woman.  I am just warning you that we have planted Verdelia, Thelma, and  Miss Missy at polls in Texas.  They look like elderly ladies – just the kind you like to hit – but they will kick your butt so bad that your grandchildren will be born shaking.  They will whallop you over the head with their purses so hard that you will have to unzip your pants to see out.”

She continues, “We ain’t telling you where they are so just remember that if you feel the need to hit a woman, it could be a woman from this beauty shop.  We never, ever throw the first punch.  We do, however, throw the second seventeen punches.  The only time we turn the other cheek is when you see us sashaying away from your whipped hiney. ”

“You will end up on the 6 o’clock news reporting that an old lady did the Pecos Promenade up one side of you and down the other.”

Thelma ain’t no Gandhi.  You just need to know that.   She will fight a buzz saw and give it three turns head start.

So, be careful where you start a fight at the election polls.  I’m just saying.

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