Jason Out Of The House

April 19, 2017 By: Primo Encarnación Category: Uncategorized

Jason Chaffetz is going to need a new Twitter handle.

@jasoninthehouse is no longer going to be in the House.  After family yadda yadda and prayerful boogaloo, the Chairman of the House Oversight  and Government Reform Committee has announced that he has no more interest in Oversight (of a Republican Administration) or Government Reform.  Or government in any form, apparently, for now.

“I have decided I will not be a candidate for any office in 2018,” he announced today, leaving open the possibility for other offices in other years, once the heat has died down.

Chaffetz’ announcement immediately presents a mystery: why would anyone with his career arc step away from national power in a district that – despite his town hall bumps – should be an easy win for himself?

@JasonOutHouse – if I may suggest a new handle – is trying to cut such speculation off (good luck!): “For those that would speculate otherwise, let me be clear that I have no ulterior motives. I am healthy. I am confident I would continue to be re-elected by large margins. I have the full support of Speaker Ryan to continue as Chairman of the Oversight and Government Reform Committee. That said, I have made a personal decision to return to the private sector.”

For the record, Chaffetz’s previous foray into the private sector was Nu-Skinning suckers via pyramid schemes “multi-level marketing.”

Down and OUT
(Thanks, Salt Lake Tribune)

Also, for those of you keeping score at home, Chaffetz is a climate-denier, anti-vaxxer, ACA-hater, and Planned Parenthood attacker.  He hates gays, women, net neutrality and town halls.  He investigated the hell out of Benghazi, Benghazi, and Benghazi, but saw no reason to pursue the treason of General Michael T Flynn, Trump’s first NSC adviser who is now desperately trying to avoid prison by shopping his testimony to investigators who don’t appear to need it.

He also feels that the following things require ZERO House Oversight or Governmental Reforms: Trump and the Emoluments Clause, Trump and the Russians, Trump and the Hatch Act, Trump and Prosecutor Bribing, Trump and the IRS, Trump and the Fake Voter Fraud, and Trump and the Fake Wiretapping.

It’s as if, once Hillary lost, Jason lost his zest, his joie d’vivre, his drive for justice, his whole and entire raison d’être.  Unless there was a Clinton Administration to blatantly libel, maliciously harass and falsely impugn, there was no more reason for Jason to be in the House.

I’m here to tell ya: there never was.  But if it turns out that on top of all this he has committed obstruction of justice by not investigating the many high crimes and misdemeanors of the von Trump Crime Family, he’ll need another Twitter handle:



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12 Comments to “Jason Out Of The House”

  1. Annabelle Lee says:

    After consulting with his family and praying about it… mm-hmm, I’m just waiting to find out the age and race of the young man involved.

  2. Sam in San Antonio says:

    His true lord SATAN needs him more in Utah.

  3. He’s talked before about possibly running for governor of Utah. You can bet your sweet patootie he’s not going back into the private sector after having fame and tasting blood in politics.

  4. maryelle says:

    Ah, those people at his town hall were so mean to him, shouting, “DO YOUR JOB!” It was really too much to take after spending every waking hour dodging Trump accusations and thinking up ways to excuse the Liar-in-Chief. He’s just exhausted and doesn’t feel appreciated anymore, since he hasn’t got Hillary to kick around anymore.
    The old “spend time with my family” ploy rings so hollow, it echoes. He’s probably going to register as a foreign agent and try to get a cut of the Russian money which seems to be flowing around Washington. Keep an eye on this unscrupulous fraud. He’s headed for bigger things.

  5. two crows says:

    I’ll take issue to 2 things here:
    1] The cartoon. I’m sorry but Jason Chaffetz’ respect for facts was NEVER as high as the graph portrays.
    2] His declaration that he’s bowing out of the government.

    I refer you to Marco Rubio for precedent.

  6. Tilphousia says:

    Poor little twit. Chaffetz says he’d be elected by huge margin but judging from his town halls, he’d be lucky to get back on the ballot. Chaffetz is a nasty piece of work. Hopefully the Mormon Church will find sufficient courage to keep him caged. Out of sight, out of mind. Perhaps now Utah will get competent representation for his district.

  7. I wonder if he thinks that by stepping out of the limelight, investigators will stop looking into any treasonous acts he may have committed while he tried to cover up for Trump. Or are there more personal skeletons in the closet he doesn’t want investigated and he thinks this will stop people from digging up the dirt. I hope the investigators go “benghazi” over his ass.

  8. sybil wertheim says:

    Well organized and brilliantly explained! Thank you.
    But is there a big salaried lobbying job in the works?

  9. As they say in pro wrestling, he “lost his smile”. Of course pro wrestlers aren’t known for STAYING retired…

  10. JasonInTheBigHouse. Has almost a musical ring to it. Considering the obstruction of justice and all the other mischief he has been up to, somebody had better pinch his passport. And no, I don’t see him on K Street. Yeah, I know K Street is not known for angels, but anyone leaving under such a cloud just might not be all that welcome even where an infamous Jack once thrived.

  11. Jane & PKM says:

    When that sorry little punter is done painting tincture of humiliation on his sorry butt to cure the road rash from his years of dragging his chapped posterior around the House, he can reemerge as #short&st00pid.

  12. might happen sooner rather than later
    I put updates in the O’Reilly post (my mistake)