I’m Gonna Print This Sucker and Hang It Around My Neck On One Of Those Lanyard Things And Then Everytime A Man Tries To ‘Splain Something To Me, I’m Gonna Whip Him With The Lanyard And Stuff The Card Up His Nose

April 28, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

 

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25 Comments to “I’m Gonna Print This Sucker and Hang It Around My Neck On One Of Those Lanyard Things And Then Everytime A Man Tries To ‘Splain Something To Me, I’m Gonna Whip Him With The Lanyard And Stuff The Card Up His Nose”


  1. maryelle says:

    Oh thank you so much! I am sending a copy of this to all my friends, so we can pull them out and flash them at the appropriate misogynists.

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  2. excellent

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  3. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Mz Juanita Jean Herownself has declared war! Sic ’em Tiger!!

    Men, we need to stand behind our sisters, daughters, mothers, grandmothers, cousins, aunts, female in-laws and wives. (Albeit, judging by the mood in The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. this morning, do it at the recommended safe paces and in silence. j/k 😉 sort of …. )

    The ladies are correct. They are in charge of their own bodies and medical decisions. They do not need the s’nacilbupeR governors, legislatures, and presidential candidates doing their deciding for them and sending this country into a Kristofascist model of Sharia law.

    Equal pay, too! It’s all there in the Fourteenth Amendment. The snacilbupeR say “America First.” To them I say, “first, act like Americans and support equality for all.”

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  4. Brilliant! I’m having mine laminated.

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  5. Rastybob says:

    It won’t work, you play the women card and Drumpf plays the A$$hole card. A women would talk things out. We can’t have that. When a “real man” would do what he wants, and take what he wants. And if the rest of the world don’t like it. He will send a few of his Jersey Boys over to make them like it and pay for it. A smart women, Ha, not when you can have an A$$hole con man. And he can prove how Hauugge an A$$hole he is, by the size of the pile of BS he leaves behind. He can do for the country what he did for Trump Airlines.

    You should print that card up and sell them.

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  6. austinhatlady says:

    http://www.amazon.com/Yellow-Dog-Design-Democratic-Lanyard/dp/B01728TUL
    Going to fix an unfortunate oversight of mine and order an appropriate lanyard to hold this Woman Card. And thank you Maryelle, PKM & Trash!

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  7. 1smartcanerican says:

    AHL, your link did not work for me, but I sure like your idea for holding the newly laminated Woman Card!

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  8. You go girl!

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  9. But shouldn’t the card be pink? Everyone knows that all women just adore pink.

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  10. Lorraine in Spring says:

    There’s gonna be a huge demand for these things. I want sparkles on my lanyard. Mansplainers are a dime a dozen but sparkles are forever.

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  11. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    1smartcanerican, you can find lanyards by searching “lanyard” in the Amazon search box. Emily’s List isn’t selling lanyards (yet); hope we can fix that for them. Also, “yellow dog” Democrat doesn’t ‘work’ so well outside the south. However, you can also find lanyards on the sites of your favorite Alma Mater, if your want to fly the equality spirit with your school colors.

    Or, maybe it’s time for The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. to open a shoppe. 😀

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  12. PKM, better yet, search for “lanyard Democrat” for several choices.

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  13. Elizabeth Moon says:

    Lynn N: NO PINK. OR LAVENDER. Unless you’re personally crazy about it, which I’m not. Women should make their card any color they like, with or without stripes, flowers, sparkles, unicorns, Quarter Horses, flags, cats, dogs, chickens, horses, etc.

    But it’s a great idea.

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  14. Austinhatlady says:

    @1smartamerican
    copy’npaste sometimes doesn’t work on my cell.
    Try these from my laptop instead:
    http://www.amazon.com/Yellow-Dog-Design-Democratic-Lanyard/dp/B01728TULW
    http://www.amazon.com/Lanyard-Club-Democrat-Support/dp/B00BPF4AYG (says Proud Democrat)

    @LynnN & Elizabeth Moon
    Shudder at thought of pink! Absolutely my least favorite color. And all three god-daughters love to torment me with chants of “you’re touching pink!” if I hug them while they are wearing pink.

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  15. maryelle says:

    My printer was low on blue ink and the card came out…pink!

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  16. @AustinHatLady, I once rejected a nice little house because the main bathroom was PINK. The walls were pink, the tub was pink, the ceiling was pink, the toilet was pink, the sink was pink, everything was freakin’ pink. I felt nauseated just standing in the doorway.

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  17. Yeah, the floor. The floor was pink too.

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  18. AliceBeth says:

    LynnN, as a breast cancer survivor, I really detest pink. I had it shoved in my face the entire time I was under treatment. My question is that I have had a total hysterectomy, is there a different card for me????

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  19. Ahahahahahha! This reminds me of another card that I saw, years ago, printed in English and Spanish:

    YOU HAVE JUST INSULTED A WOMAN.
    This card is chemically treated.
    In one week your cock will fall off.

    –Leslie < )O(

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  20. charles r. phillips says:

    I think BLUE is the best color. It’s the democratic color, and only a democratic woman believes she is equal. Believes–KNOWS–she is equal.

    And check Democracy Now for lanyards. They may have one for this.

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  21. Tilphousia says:

    Leslie, LOL! I just love it. Where can I get one for means all my friends?

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  22. Jill Ann says:

    Just forwarded this to my college student feminist liberal daughters (yes, I’m proud of them!). One replied, “we already have them, Mom. You get born with those”

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  23. I just contributed to Hillary so I can get my Official Woman Card. This, “#womancard”, is trending on Twitter and it’s hilarious!

    “When I use my Woman Card I get 17% off – my salary.”
    “My Woman Card enables me hear catcalls, receive gropings and derogatory comments about my appearance from random males.”
    “Using my Woman Card enables wingnut politicians control of my reproduction.”

    There’s a million of them and they’re really smart and massively sarcastic. I love it!

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  24. Here are more Woman Cards, also very wise and witty.
    http://goo.gl/BfGHqL

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  25. Sorry, guys, I guess I should have pointed out that I was being sarcastic when I suggested pink. I was trying to parody a stereotype, not endorse it.

    I do think the card needs a slogan, though, and I like Clinton’s: Deal Me In.

    BTW, I don’t like pink unless it’s a very pale, dusty pink. Bright pink is for bubblegum, not women.

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