Holy Crap: No, Not Like That Edition
Myrtle Beach, South Carolina – the home of Vanna White from The Wheel of Fortune and I bet you didn’t know that – is kinda nut country despite being on one of the most beautiful beaches on the east coast.
They have a minister there by the name of Danny Banks. Danny got all wound up this weekend and told his flock that “allowing their children attend sex education courses in public schools was like letting kids play with rattlesnakes and cobras.”
Think you could have gotten a little more phallic there, Danny?
Thanks to Carl for the heads up.
Playing with rattlesnakes & cobras is a church activity, it should be kept out of schools.
1Is it like a train plunging through a tunnel with fireworks going off?
2Instead, he’s probably a big fan of the Duggars with their sex abuse and incest and would prefer his flock to use them as examples.
3Reminds me of an old joke: “Let’s take sex educastion out of the schools and put it back where it belongs – in the pool halls!”
Besides, putting it in the schools makes it less glamorous and more boring… and lets kids make more informed decisions. Because guess what? Teenagers engage in sexual activities, and always have. Read Chuck Yeager’s autobiography for examples of what teenagers were getting up to in the 1930s…
4Ah, the dreaded “pants snake.”
5And teaching them kids to save themselves from drowning after the canoe tips over would only encourage them to learn how to swim – or something like that.
6I hate similes, metaphors, and analogies . I wasn’t paying attention in school and I have the devil’s on time telling them apart. And I bet the majority of people in the crowd didn’t/wouldn’t understand either, including Danny Banks hisownself.
7Will they go blind, too?
8Because keeping them ignorant and uninformed has worked so well.
9I love Myrtle Beach: Their something team is called the Sandfleas (right up there with the worst critters known to humans).
They have billboards showing a shrimp saying “He died for you!” advertising shrimp-eating places.
They also have my favorite gas station: El Cheapo.
Beat that, Texas!
10Some religions play with rattlesnakes. Maybe his does, too.
11Well, he got one thing right, playing with vipers and rattlesnakes is definitely a public health hazard…
Ultimately it comes down to the churches espousing “say no”, the corporate world exploiting desire, and the public health types trying to minimize the damage. Well, if there is a non-theological reason for not teaching basic biology and wellness, I’d like to hear it.
12I was going to mention that isn’t snake handleing a religous experience down in his parts?
Maybe some of those holy snake handlers could come to his sermon and show how the faith keeps them safe.
13Kinda like how catholics beleive that rythem keeps their women safe on the other sort of snake handling.
Both with the same predictable results. deadly bites and pregnancies.
There’s a word for teenagers who aren’t allowed to learn about sex: “parents”.
14I’m just surprised he added the adjective “sex.” He could have just left that word out and still conveyed the basic WingNut message.
15Maryelle and LynnN are correct, of course. There’s nothing more powerful than total ignorance. And Rhea also has a point — that’s the word all right. Sadly — oh, my, how sadly — all parents aren’t even marginally good parents, and I’m pretty sure children shouldn’t be having children. But, yeah, the best thing to teach your children is to just say “no.” (How come we spend so much time saying to them, “Don’t you dare say ‘no’ to me?”)
16If you prize obedience above all in children, someday your children will obey bad orders or stupid orders given by someone you wouldn’t have approved. This includes gang leaders, mean girls, bad teachers/coaches/bosses/etc, etc.
They’re ripe for cults that also prize obedience.
If on the other hand you prize independence and “You’re not the boss of me” above all, someday your children will start disobeying everybody and end up beaten up and killed by people with the power (physical or otherwise) to enforce “Yes, I AM your boss.”
This is what makes parenting such an adventure for those who would like to bring up survivors, smart kids, kids who become decent citizens who know when to obey which orders, when to quietly ignore, when to disobey on principle other than selfish smartassishness, and when to get the hell out of Dodge.
17As for the exaggerations of Mr. Banks, if he ever dumped a bushel of snakes in a classroom, he’d get a very different reaction than if he threw a condom on the floor. A condom will lie there quietly and not bite anybody. A rattler or cobra or mamba or bushmaster, not so much.
18Amen, Elizabeth Moon! Because my beloved’s father had been a soldier for Germany in WWI, he couldn’t believe until it was almost too late, that he was now an “enemy of the state” and lost most of his family before fleeing Germany in WWII.
19It took me a long time to find my roots, my mother’s family got lost in the bat-shite crazy evangelical cults while I was growing up, and as a result of that information, I am very distrustful of Dominionists thought–the fools WANT WAR, instead of understanding that the messiah comes in your heart/mind– that’s the born again space, and when/if that occurs you become “Christlike” with the love, peace and understanding written in your heart/mind. No, metaphor and the difference between bread and meat will never be understood by the masses…so many sheep, just heading for slaughter because of theses foolish, fear filled Shepards.
Giggle–I am reading the entries backwards so didn’t see the “Godwins Law” so I get the award….it would be more of a joke if it were someone else’s life!!
20I kept this quote from someone, can’t recall who, about Michele Bachmann.
“My grandmother was illiterate. She was cosseted in an impregnable ignorance that made her confident in her judgment and unassailable in her opinions.”
Describes Danny Banks and others such like perfectly.
21Doesn’t ZZ Top have a song about this?
22Elizabeth Moon – sounds like the best course is to bring your children up as critical thinkers, then expose them to experiences that will help them develop street smarts. Best of luck!
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