Holy Crap: Fix This Edition

September 07, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Well, we should have seen this coming.

You know those monuments to prosperity gospel who say God will make you rich if you just give your money to your pastor? Well, they just expanded the definition of “your” money.  They mean you.  Personally.


Yeah, they want FEMA money.  Apparently, they didn’t have insurance and by golly, God did not favor them. They got damaged just like the heathens next door.

The only difference is that the heathen next door pays taxes.

The churches claim they are being denied their first amendment rights because FEMA is discriminating against them.

The Texas churches that sued are the Rockport First Assembly of God in Rockport, which lost its roof and steeple and suffered other structural damage, and the Harvest Family Church in Cypress and Hi-Way Tabernacle in Cleveland, which were flooded.

I suggest they do what thousands of other folks pestered by Harvey do – put on some boots and a face mask, grab a shovel, starting digging crap Harvey left behind, and pay your damn taxes you welfare queens.

Thanks to Steven for the heads up.

Be Sociable, Share!

24 Comments to “Holy Crap: Fix This Edition”

  1. First, fix homes, medical centers, businesses. Hey guys, pray outside it’s been done before. It is always the same” I don’t want to pay taxes, I don’t want the damn government in my business”…until a disaster then “hey were is MY money?”.

  2. I know I should be shocked and horrified by the nerve of these people, but somehow I’m not.

    Have other churches collected FEMA funds in the past? That would be interesting to know.

  3. Do they pay taxes?
    The people that attend do and they will have their businesses and homes helped.
    Why should funds be used if no taxes are paid to help defray the costs?

  4. The churches have my thoughts and prayers.

    That’s it. No Cash, no government help.

  5. To Diane: Here! Here!

  6. As the mosque leader said in the piece I just posted to the next Creole Kitchen column, if the mosque is housing evacuees of any belief on one of the holiest days in the Muslim calendar and there’s no room for the worship service, “if they have to pray in the parking lot, they’ll pray in the parking lot.” So y’all can deal with it.

    Thoreau said he didn’t know why the teacher should be taxed to support the preacher and not the other way around. Fix the hospitals and schools and essential services first. Those who don’t pay taxes shouldn’t shove in line, if they’re in line at all.

    And if any of those churches have a preacher who told his congregants how to vote, their tax-free status should be stripped anyway, if the IRS had staffing and a backbone.

  7. Charles R Phillips says:

    Shouldn’t they just pray up a storm for help from heaven? Ain’t that what they believe?

  8. The prosperity gospel sorts keep begging to have their tax exempt status revoked. It’s past time to accommodate them. Similar to the “Christian” Day Schools (code for we ‘opt’ out of integration) suing to have their playgrounds upgraded like public parks and schools.

    We’ve had cases in NV where the LDS sue on grounds of “religious freedom” to ignore traffic studies, environmental impact reports and the like so as to build wherever they damn please.

    Name the group. They’re “special.” They embody a desire to have their cake and eat it, too. Notable exception, Mosques, who respect the rule of law as well as trend toward being community centers giving back to the community as a whole.

  9. To borrow from the infamous Earl Butz, Tricky Dick and Gerry’s Secretary of Agriculture, they no playa da game…

    I’ll join the rest of you with my thoughts and prayers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXrB7Y6gVN8

  10. And the local Rockport newspaper, The Rockport Pilot, writes it up on the “News” page:

    “• Snakes are everywhere on FM 1069. Ferrell (sic) hogs are moving into town.”
    [FM 1069, AKA: Zancudo Road]

    No, really…wellll, sorta fits doesn’t it?


    “• The Rockport-Fulton Chamber of Commerce’s GoFundMe account is almost at $300,000, with a goal of $500,000. The name of the account is Hurricane Harvey Fund for Rockport-Fulton.”


  11. Laurel Beckett says:

    I have a feeling that Brother Osteen’s mega-church would owe a lot of taxes, were it no longer defined itself as a charity, and were their other
    “charitable” activities to be scrutinized. Nope, his salary and mansion are not charities.

    Hmm. Our Quaker meeting carries insurance. And we have an annual income/budget that would put us at the poverty level, I guess. No paid ministers – traditional Friends unprogrammed worship. Would they still allow deductions for charitable donations (such as the interfaith rotating winter homeless shelter, for which we also have handled all the intake for the last 10 years, and our contributions to mental illness and to scholarships for DACA kids)? We probably wouldn’t owe taxes if we were a family…

  12. The h#!! with them.
    Our synagogue has all kinds of insurance. After Sandy, it reviewed the policy to make sure everything was covered.

  13. Seriously; NO insurance??

    Obviously, they expect the Lord to provide.
    And I think we all should let Him.

    Or they can access their Building/Maintenance Fund. Don’t tell me they don’t have those, either.

  14. That “wall of separation” TJefferson mentioned in his letter to the Danbury Baptists holds out the government if over-reaching “Christians” next door try to close Danbury’s doors because Baptists aren’t the korrect flavor of hyper-fundamental believers. Up til 2017 it has been real effective. Now holding out hurricanes, tornadoes, KKK arsonists, etc, not as much.

  15. As been said fix the important stuff 1st!!!!
    Help people 1st!!!
    Help the infra-structure 1st!!!
    Churches are the least important things on the planet, and they don’t pay their fair share, so they can ask help of satan since their gawd is useless!!!

  16. JAKvirginia says:

    I thought prayer was their insurance. Ah well…

  17. JJ you said what I have been thinking.

  18. My Cypress church also flooded. Four buildings (including the school we run). For four days, 300 volunteers mucked out buildings and cut sheetrock. We are now trying to get donations to help us pay for the loss. WE are working to get back to normal. No FEMA.

    We don’t pay taxes – it is up to us to take care of ourselves.

  19. Dale Austin says:

    Well, it looks to be baked into the law:

    From: Public Assistance Program and Policy Guide
FP 104-009-2 / April 2017


    p12. Facilities established or primarily used for political, athletic, religious, recreational, vocational, or academic training, conferences, or similar activities are not eligible (see Table 3).

  20. The churches are using this summer’s Supreme Court ruling in Trinity Lutheran Church vs. Comer. The church had sued the Missouri Dept. of Public Resources to get public funding for scrap tires that they could use to pave their preschool playground. Though the Missouri constitution prohibits public funding for religious organizations, the Supremes saw it otherwise:


    Americans United for Separation of Church and State predicted that the Supremes’ decision in the Trinity case would lead to lawsuits like these:


    It didn’t take long. Personally, I wouldn’t mind the repeal of the Johnson amendment if churches lost their tax-exempt status in exchange. It’s called Pay to Play, something every snacilbupeR politician understands.

  21. A-freekin-men

  22. As a person who kept books for my former church (have since moved so no longer in that position) and was a longtime member:
    1) Churches MUST have insurance – building, liability, etc. PERIOD.
    2) Many churches don’t have a “profit” to be taxed. Mine didn’t, we sometimes ran a deficit. Our pastor and other employees were middle class. Some were paid less than if they worked in the for-profit world.
    3) Salaries and building expenses took most of the (not large) budget. The building was not “fancy” – no stained glass, no gold leaf, but made beautiful by the people of the community who gave time, money and resources to each other and the greater community – city, county. There was a mortgage, utilities, repairs. Payroll taxes had to be paid (matching FICA, state unemployment) as well as healthcare benefits. Just like a private for-profit business. In fact, the only tax breaks we got were reduced property taxes and not having to pay federal unemployment (max. $56/employee/year).
    4) The facilities are used not just for worship, meetings, etc. The education wing is used by the local Head Start program at no cost other than chipping in for utilities (costs a lot to heat in the cold winter – usually that wing would be kept cooler, plus extra water use for the bathrooms & kitchen). The fellowship hall is used (at no cost) for meetings by groups such as AA, NA, PFLAG, Scouts and others. The hall also houses a food bank (run by volunteers and donations) which distributes to anyone who shows up. Members provide food for poor kids to eat over the weekend. The hall used to regularly house the homeless in the winter until a permanent building was found. But in extremely cold weather the hall is re-opened for those still homeless. People are fed. All volunteer. The only prohibitions are no violence, no weapons, no drugs. You know, common sense.
    5) Outside is a community garden and orchard, and in the winter firewood is available for a nominal charge. All run by volunteers. No religious “test” no proselytizing.
    6) Other churches in the area have soup kitchens open daily as well as providing meeting space and much more.

    Without these churches, many people would be without food, firewood, a place to meet, a place to sleep, a place for their kids to attend pre-school.

    Places such as Osteen’s and his ilk do no favors to the name of Christianity. Feel free to tax them. But leave those like my former church alone – people there are too busy doing God’s work. Thanks.

  23. Damn! How conveniently they forget that Jesus preached to the multitudes in open air and not once did anybody pass around a tithing basket! Of course, they’ve never heard of Karma!

  24. Hannah –
    Well, you’ve got one of those old-fashioned Real Churches. Must feel good to belong to a congregation that’s there for the Works, not the Perks.
    And I’m betting that just as you’ve supported the community, they will support you in turn. Well done.