Grizzly Hunting

November 29, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

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“Until they can scientifically prove that proud ignorance and rank hypocrisy are not contagious, Sarah Palin should have to stay in Alaska, where those things don’t seem to matter,” was Juanita opening statement this morning when informed that Thelma was coming in late so she could go see Wailin’ Palin in Houston today.

Love her or hate her, Sarah Palin will not be ignored. We are living in an era when politicians and experts of all kinds inspire mistrust, and Palin presents herself as the ultimate outsider – just a regular American gal, hunting moose and being a “mama bear” to her cubs.

Of course, this regular gal is a bestselling author, a reality TV star, a regular paid contributor on Fox News and a frequent public speaker, charging $100,000 performance fees, you know, like regular Americans.

“Honey, I’d rather try to measure water with a tea strainer than go see Sarah Palin,” Juanita admits, “because that would be far more productive.”

Thelma, however, is a giant fan of Sarah’s.  Thelma believes that the only thing standing between her and her own reality show is a tax cut.  When Juanita describes Sarah Palin as “Dan Quayle in a skirt,”  Thelma reminds Juanita that Dan Quayle never once had a cute wink.  So there.

It’s believed that Juanita will make Thelma go by the fire department and walk through the decontamination unit before being allowed back into the beauty salon.  In these days of stoopid politicians and the tea party, someone has to put their foot down to contain this stuff.

Actual headlines from today’s news.  They may have something to do with each other —

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