Grace for a friend

April 22, 2024 By: Nick Carraway Category: Uncategorized

Grace— disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency

I went to Merriam for that definition of grace. I noticed that there were a grand total of eight categories with sub-definitions below them. So, if something else were coming to your mind you are likely also right. The definition above just happens to fit what I’m thinking in the moment.

Further defining terms we find that clemency can be defined as “an act or instance of mercy, compassion, or forgiveness see also amnesty, commute, pardon, reprieve.” In these trying times, forgiveness can be difficult. I wrote a piece earlier about forgiveness and I invite everyone to take a look. It is essentially a state of being and a realization more than anything else.

I say all this because a friend reacted angrily and in a bizarre manner to a piece I wrote last week. The initial reaction is usually one of defense. The response claimed I had said and done things that I had never said or done. So, the first reaction is to go through the rolodex of memories to try to determine where that was coming from. You then move onto anger. When someone clearly says you have said things you’ve never said or done things you’ve never done it can be bewildering and infuriating at the same time.

I’ve quickly moved on. Some of my other friends have not. The difficulty is that these things are all public now. Everyone on my friends list can see and as you’d expect they run the gamut. So, some friends want to defend me. Some probably feel the frustration by proxy.

I am asking for one simple thing: grace. That grace can go any number of different directions. It can obviously go to me as I am not going to turn down anyone or anything’s grace. However, it should also go to my friend. He is a decent person that might be triggered by some powerful feelings, confusion, and a boat load of misinformation.

One of the things he accused me of is being compliant. I find that term to be pretty charged in the way he intended it, but it is an ironic term. We are all compliant to something or someone. Someone that professes to be Christian (as he and I both do) are compliant to the word of God or at least our own interpretation of the word of God. He meant to political authority figures or prominent experts in a field.

I plead guilty to that one. One of the best things we have done as a species is specialize. When it comes to a world wide pandemic I’m going to trust an immunologist who has studied viruses for more than 50 years over my own best judgments and instincts. I got a D in college Biology. I felt like I understood the material better than that, but not much better.

Regardless of party or ideology, we have an absolute epidemic of people deciding they know as much as experts because they saw a YouTube video their cousin sent them. We have parents or even private citizens deciding we are teaching things in school we have never taught based on absolutely zero evidence. Instead of asking us they “do their own research.”

Someone famous once decried people that know things that just aren’t so. False knowledge is worse than ignorance. It rots the brain and causes people to believe things that have no basis in reality. I can’t hate people like this. I want to offer them love and support and will do as much as I can. That might be my own failing, but that is what it is.

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0 Comments to “Grace for a friend”


  1. It’s difficult to get around compliant. Even harder to get around the perception of compliant. It’s a fruitless argument of I said, you say I said. With no boundaries. With each person keeping their own score.

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